Yes, it is true
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Posted:Feb 20, 2007 4:28 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2007 6:01 pm
1797 Views
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I really wanted to stay out of the fray, but I cannot remain silent anymore….yes, I am the true father of Anna Nicole’s baby. I know it is hard to believe. She was here in DC at the Supreme Court last year and I ran in to her. As everyone knows, I am a Supreme Court groupie and go to the hearings everyday I can. As I was in line waiting to take my seat, she walked by and we traded glances. After I was leaving the court area, I was approached by a guy who said he was Anna Nicole’s assistantant and he handed me a key to her Hilton hotel room and told me to be there at 2 pm. I went, opened the door and there was a line of guys inside and I was told to take a number. I did and when number 40 was called, I went in to another room and Anna Nicole was lying on the bed nude and I was told to fuck her. I started to put on a condom and she said “hell no” and I had sex with her. When I was done, she told me to get off her and yelled, “next”. Why does that make me the father? Well, I’m pretty sure she told the other guys to wear a condom.
Of course this tale is made up and I should not make fun of the dead (bad karma and all). I guess I think the whole thing was just so fucking stupid. We have brave men and women dying in Iraq; hero police men and women dying at the hands of drug dealers and brave people fighting a strong fight against cancer. Do we tell their stories? No. The world is focused on a woman who did nothing really except take off her clothes, marry an old guy, and have a show about her life. I also think the amount of men taking credit for knocking her up is pretty amazing as well. The one that cracks me is the “prince”. I know Anna was horny, but come on! I don’t think he could get it up unless he had a blood transfusion of Viagra.
Stop the madness…write your local news and tell them, who cares about Anna!
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I miss the old days
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Posted:Feb 1, 2007 2:55 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2007 4:57 am
1872 Views
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I think our world is a sad place when a “Litebright” is considered a device that could be a bomb. If a terrorist wants to be effective, wouldn’t he (or she) want to make sure the bomb is NOT discovered? After all, isn’t the intent to kill lots of people?
The lesson here is please do not leave your toys on the ground or let someone in dreadlocks do your marketing, especially in Boston.
Also, what the hell is this guy wearing CSI gloves for? Evidence?
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January Grinch
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Posted:Jan 16, 2007 2:27 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 12:5 pm
1612 Views
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I think it might be nice to keep Christmas in the heart all year round….but that doesn’t mean the lights and tree need to stay up!!!!
I was amazed as I drove around this weekend how many Christmas (or if you prefer, “Holiday” lights) were still up on people’s house and yards. If I were driving around the parts of the country where the weather has been bad, I might understand. However, I’m talking about the Northern Virginia area where we have had plenty of nice days to take things down. Maybe I could understand still seeing the lights up during the day but what I didn’t understand where the folks who were still turning the lights on at night. I also noticed that people were turning lights on even when the reindeer and snow people had fallen down. No, I was not driving around in an urabanly challenge area…I was driving around really nice areas of Virginia. Did I miss the memo that people are suppose to leave up the lights through Valentine’s Day? If so, excuse my rants otherwise all town folk in Whosville…..
Take down your fucking lights!!!!!
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Back!!!
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Posted:Jan 15, 2007 12:20 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2007 4:57 am
1653 Views
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Been awhile since I last wrote. The Government allowed me to see my other half while she is in her witness protection program in an undisclosed location. As we all know, she is in the program because she knows the truth about the TomKat baby and how it relates to us losing the war in Iraq. Very X-files like and she won’t share all the details with me.
I have to say I enjoyed my short time in (let’s say Cleveland) with my wife. She is living a good life and looks great as always. It was hard to leave but at the end of the day I had to because “Cleveland” did not have any I-Hops and it is all you can eat pancake time.
Wanted to say hi and Happy New Year to everyone out here and hope 2007 is fun year for all full of lots of crazy (ad normal) sex!
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Choices
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Posted:Dec 13, 2006 4:29 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2007 4:45 pm
1715 Views
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I had to get some new tires today at lunch. Woke up yesterday to a flat tire and this morning, the tire seem to still be losing air despite the fact I filled it 12 hours earlier. I decided I needed to breakdown and get some new tires. There is a tire shop near where I work nestled in between shopping, food and an Adult bookstore. So, here was my dilemma. While my new tires were being installed, what was I to do? Go to lunch or go to the adult bookstore. I could always go to lunch (drive-thru) after my car was ready and go in the adult bookstore for a whole 30 minutes while my tires were installed. The adult bookstore is big and is full of lots of movies and toys. Being that it is Virginia, it does not have any movie booths or anything so could not really watch porn at lunch, just look at covers of the video/DVD boxes and see what the newest line of things to insert in to women looked like. After thinking for a couple of minutes, I decided instead of looking at porn, I would go to a place and get a healthy meal and not do the drive-thru thing. I also had a little time to go in to a store and look at x-box games.
I guess I’m growing up or just getting old as I picked my stomach over my dick (today). Who knows what I might decide tomorrow.
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Posted:Dec 7, 2006 2:23 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2006 2:16 pm
1803 Views
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Growing up I used to have all the great action figures, GI Joe (with kung-fu grip), Steve Austin (the Bionic Man) and others I can’t remember (probably the villains). Back then (in the old days), the action figures were big…not these little 3 inch ones you see today. They were a full 9 inches, or bigger in some cases. I remember when you want to have them fight you had to smash them against the other ones. As I got older and discovered my father’s magazine collection, I use to have GI Joe attack my sister’s Barbie (when she was around) in ways that I saw in the covers of Penthouse (my dad’s preferred magazine).
Of course today, action figures are not that popular. rather have electronic figures fight in their various game platforms.
As adults we have stopped playing with action figures as well or have we? I think as adults we all have this strange fascination with who is doing who in Hollywood. We love to imagine stars hooking up and then when we get tired of them together, we love to hear about their problems and break ups. Sorting of putting two dolls together, letting them interact and then throwing them back in the box and looking for new ones to play with.
Which two figures do you want to see together? I know the easy answer is Angelie Jolie and Brad Pitt. I agree with the first part, but I’ve heard Brad has an odor problem. Here are a few of my dream match-ups:
Best girl on girl ‒ Angeline Jolie and Scarlett Johanssen
Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) and Reese Whiterspoon
Best girl on guy ‒ Catherine Zeta Jones and Hugh Jackman (yes, a strange combo)
Daniel Craig (new James Bond) and Eva Green (new Bond Girl)
I know that there tons more in my dirty little mind, but that is all I can come up with right now.
What about you? Do you have any combo you’d like to see “play” together?
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Not
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Posted:Dec 5, 2006 2:56 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2006 4:53 pm
1795 Views
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Ok, who am I to make fun of video games? I sit around my playing my x-box and think that I’m a bad ass Jedi Knight or an armored Master Chief’s who primary mission is to kill a bunch of aliens. That being said, even I was taken back by a new computer game I saw in Target during lunch today. Nestled in prime shelve space between the Best of Star Wars and the Battle for Middle Earth was “Left Behind….the computer game”
For those of you not familiar with “Left Behind”, it is a best selling series of books based on what will happen when revelations occurs on earth and deals with the people who were not saved (the ones “left behind” and are forced to do battle with the Anti-Christ. We are talking end of the world stuff here people…Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling; Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes; the dead rising from the grave; human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria. The books were even made in to a movie starring one of the greatest stars of the late 80s….Kirk Cameron (he is still sooo dreamy).
As most you on AdultFriendFinder have colorful lives, I would expect that “Left Behind” is not on your immediate radar.
So, what can you do in this game? Glad you asked because here it is straight from the game box:
“Conduct physical & spiritual warfare: using the power of prayer to strengthen your troops in combat and wield modern military weaponry throughout the game world.
Recover ancient scriptures and witness spectacular Angelic and Demonic activity as a direct consequence of your choices.
Control more than 30 units types - from Prayer Warrior and Hellraiser to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks across a breathtaking, authentic depiction of New York City.
Enjoy a robust single player experience across dozens of New York City maps in Story Mode or play multiplayer games as Tribulation Force or the AntiChrist's Global Community Peacekeepers with up to eight players via LAN or over the internet!”
And you thought killing zombies in a shopping mall was fun!
Look, I’m not making fun of religion but come on….a computer strategy game based on the bible? I guess if the game is popular, we can expect the following titles coming soon:
“Moses, Slave Warrior”
You are Moses and you are charged by God to free your people from the evil Egyptians. You must travel around with your magic staff and pick up magic points to create plagues to “convince” Pharaoh in to freeing your people. Be careful, because the Egyptians have powers to be reckoned with as well. A sequel with be out next year entitled, “Moses, Law bringer and 40 years”
Next, from the makers of Rollercoaster Tycoon, comes “Ark Tycoon”
You are Noah and you must build an ark and fill it with two of every animal on earth. Make sure you build a sturdy ark that will last through floods and make sure you get a male and female of every species. Avoid the townspeople who think you are nuts.
And finally, from the makers of SIMS comes “Jerusalem A.D.”
Pick a biblical character and try to help Jesus along the way after he is born. Some of the many characters you can choose to be:
An apostle
A money changer
A roman soldier
A roman governor
A wise man
And many, many more…..
OK, I know I’m so going to burn in hell.
Again, I’m not trying to make fun of religion, but come on, a computer game about revelations? I do think that is a bit wrong, but again, how many people have I shot playing James Bond X-box games? However, in my defense, they were evil and might have been anti-Christ like……..
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Posted:Dec 5, 2006 2:55 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2006 4:51 pm
1772 Views
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Ok, who am I to make fun of video games? I sit around my playing my x-box and think that I’m a bad ass Jedi Knight or an armored Master Chief’s who primary mission is to kill a bunch of aliens. That being said, even I was taken back by a new computer game I saw in Target during lunch today. Nestled in prime shelve space between the Best of Star Wars and the Battle for Middle Earth was “Left Behind….the computer game”
For those of you not familiar with “Left Behind”, it is a best selling series of books based on what will happen when revelations occurs on earth and deals with the people who were not saved (the ones “left behind” and are forced to do battle with the Anti-Christ. We are talking end of the world stuff here people…Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling; Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes; the dead rising from the grave; human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria. The books were even made in to a movie starring one of the greatest stars of the late 80s….Kirk Cameron (he is still sooo dreamy).
As most you on AdultFriendFinder have colorful lives, I would expect that “Left Behind” is not on your immediate radar.
So, what can you do in this game? Glad you asked because here it is straight from the game box:
“Conduct physical & spiritual warfare: using the power of prayer to strengthen your troops in combat and wield modern military weaponry throughout the game world.
Recover ancient scriptures and witness spectacular Angelic and Demonic activity as a direct consequence of your choices.
Control more than 30 units types - from Prayer Warrior and Hellraiser to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks across a breathtaking, authentic depiction of New York City.
Enjoy a robust single player experience across dozens of New York City maps in Story Mode or play multiplayer games as Tribulation Force or the AntiChrist's Global Community Peacekeepers with up to eight players via LAN or over the internet!”
And you thought killing zombies in a shopping mall was fun!
Look, I’m not making fun of religion but come on….a computer strategy game based on the bible? I guess if the game is popular, we can expect the following titles coming soon:
“Moses, Slave Warrior”
You are Moses and you are charged by God to free your people from the evil Egyptians. You must travel around with your magic staff and pick up magic points to create plagues to “convince” Pharaoh in to freeing your people. Be careful, because the Egyptians have powers to be reckoned with as well. A sequel with be out next year entitled, “Moses, Law bringer and 40 years”
Next, from the makers of Rollercoaster Tycoon, comes “Ark Tycoon”
You are Noah and you must build an ark and fill it with two of every animal on earth. Make sure you build a sturdy ark that will last through floods and make sure you get a male and female of every species. Avoid the townspeople who think you are nuts.
And finally, from the makers of SIMS comes “Jerusalem A.D.”
Pick a biblical character and try to help Jesus along the way after he is born. Some of the many characters you can choose to be:
An apostle
A money changer
A roman soldier
A roman governor
A wise man
And many, many more…..
OK, I know I’m so going to burn in hell.
Again, I’m not trying to make fun of religion, but come on, a computer game about revelations? I do think that is a bit wrong, but again, how many people have I shot playing James Bond X-box games? However, in my defense, they were evil and might have been anti-Christ like……..
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Not
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Posted:Dec 5, 2006 2:54 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2006 2:57 pm
1728 Views
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Ok, who am I to make fun of video games? I sit around my playing my x-box and think that I’m a bad ass Jedi Knight or an armored Master Chief’s who primary mission is to kill a bunch of aliens. That being said, even I was taken back by a new computer game I saw in Target during lunch today. Nestled in prime shelve space between the Best of Star Wars and the Battle for Middle Earth was “Left Behind….the computer game”
For those of you not familiar with “Left Behind”, it is a best selling series of books based on what will happen when revelations occurs on earth and deals with the people who were not saved (the ones “left behind” and are forced to do battle with the Anti-Christ. We are talking end of the world stuff here people…Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling; Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes; the dead rising from the grave; human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria. The books were even made in to a movie starring one of the greatest stars of the late 80s….Kirk Cameron (he is still sooo dreamy).
As most you on AdultFriendFinder have colorful lives, I would expect that “Left Behind” is not on your immediate radar.
So, what can you do in this game? Glad you asked because here it is straight from the game box:
“Conduct physical & spiritual warfare: using the power of prayer to strengthen your troops in combat and wield modern military weaponry throughout the game world.
Recover ancient scriptures and witness spectacular Angelic and Demonic activity as a direct consequence of your choices.
Control more than 30 units types - from Prayer Warrior and Hellraiser to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks across a breathtaking, authentic depiction of New York City.
Enjoy a robust single player experience across dozens of New York City maps in Story Mode or play multiplayer games as Tribulation Force or the AntiChrist's Global Community Peacekeepers with up to eight players via LAN or over the internet!”
And you thought killing zombies in a shopping mall was fun!
Look, I’m not making fun of religion but come on….a computer strategy game based on the bible? I guess if the game is popular, we can expect the following titles coming soon:
“Moses, Slave Warrior”
You are Moses and you are charged by God to free your people from the evil Egyptians. You must travel around with your magic staff and pick up magic points to create plagues to “convince” Pharaoh in to freeing your people. Be careful, because the Egyptians have powers to be reckoned with as well. A sequel with be out next year entitled, “Moses, Law bringer and 40 years”
Next, from the makers of Rollercoaster Tycoon, comes “Ark Tycoon”
You are Noah and you must build an ark and fill it with two of every animal on earth. Make sure you build a sturdy ark that will last through floods and make sure you get a male and female of every species. Avoid the townspeople who think you are nuts.
And finally, from the makers of SIMS comes “Jerusalem A.D.”
Pick a biblical character and try to help Jesus along the way after he is born. Some of the many characters you can choose to be:
An apostle
A money changer
A roman soldier
A roman governor
A wise man
And many, many more…..
OK, I know I’m so going to burn in hell.
Again, I’m not trying to make fun of religion, but come on, a computer game about revelations? I do think that is a bit wrong, but again, how many people have I shot playing James Bond X-box games? However, in my defense, they were evil and might have been anti-Christ like……..
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Buying this woman some panties part II
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Posted:Dec 4, 2006 5:22 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2006 2:55 pm
1727 Views
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I didn' know there was a size limit!
Continued....
teenage pregencies as you are introducing another catalyst in to an already a boiling cauldron of teenage hormones.
Comedians and pundits will turn their attention to Britney and will ignore other important issues like Hillary’s presidential campaign and the alien baby of Tom and Katie. This could make the alien baby’s goal of ruling the world a reality as she uses Hillary as her pawn. If comedians and pundits don’t have time to make fun of them, we won’t know what is happening. Before you know it, the TomKat baby’s friends from space will come down to our planet and throw us all in volcanoes. This would happen because Britney’s cooter distracted us.
I hope you have taken my warnings to heart as you sit around at your computer screen stroking away. I implore you as you do you holiday shopping, take some time and buy ONE pair of panties for Britney and send them to her. We can make a difference for pennies a day. Don’t let an exposed Britney expose us and future generations to pain and suffering in volcanoes.
Good Day.
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Please buy this woman some panties
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Posted:Dec 4, 2006 5:20 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 12:5 pm
1740 Views
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By now you have probably heard the news. Yes, opps, Britney did it again (I couldn’t resist). She was caught not once, but twice without panties on in recent weeks. Once is understandable, but twice to me represents a problem. She knows that the paparazzi are all around, yet she still makes the mistake of not wearing panties and not keeping her legs crossed. There are a few possible answers to her lack of panties. Maybe she is so upset about the whole divorce thing that she is forgetting to put panties on in the morning. Maybe she is trying to save money and has eliminated panties from her budget. Still another possible reason is that she wants people to see her in case they are comparing her pussy to the porn star’s that K-Dud supposedly bagged. Whatever the possible reason, this behavior needs to be stopped because of the possible effect on the world economy and social fabric.
How does Britney not wearing panties affect the economy? Well, I’m going to tell you:
Lost productivity ‒ This is what all the internet porn stalkers have been waiting for….a true x-rated picture of Britney on the web. Not fakes that they porn sites normally try to get people to buy, this is a real one. First, free unedited versions are hard to find (I should know as I had to work hard for my….research). Maybe your typical internet porn stalker might hunt and hunt and this will slow down anything else they may do, including paying for other sex sites. This creates a tired person who then who is open to viruses and then you add the non-stop jerking off once they find the picture and boom, they are sick. Being sick, they call out from work which results in lost productivity. If the person doesn’t have sick leave, it results in lost wages which results in lost purchasing power. Even if they don’t get sick, they might jerk off more which will take their productive time away on a short term basis.
Loss of album sales ‒ How can you take songs like “Baby one more time” or “Opps, I did it again” seriously if you seen Britney’s snatch? People may stop buying her old albums and not buy any of her new albums. This could create lost revenue across the board for anyone in the music industry.
Loss of underwear sales ‒ What if Britney and a few of her friends (Paris and Lindsey) make not wearing panties “cool”? It might start a new fashion trend that would make many men happy (and some women) but could depress sales at major lingerie stores such as Victoria’s Secrets, Fredrick’s of Hollywood and Momma’s Panty-o-roma and Peep Emporium on Route 16.
What of our delicate social fabric?
To stay with the starting a trend argument, as look up to Britney, they might refuse to wear their underwear. Are you going to let your out of the house without panties? I don’t think so and this could create tensions in the American family. With older , it could be the new “peer pressure” thing. Teenage girls might sneak off to school and remove their panties to be cool and this could result in more teenage
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A "Heroes" Interuption
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Posted:Nov 28, 2006 3:19 pm
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2006 4:41 pm
1695 Views
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OK, if you don't watch the show Heroes on NBC, please move on as I'm traveling to geek land. I'm not on any TV board or other scifi board, but wanted to get this down in case I'm right.
Geeks, please continue to read
I was just cleaning and I think I figured out the "secret" to Sylar. He sees his duty as "fixing" the people with powers who have other problems. That is why he killed the waitress and not Hiro. His solution is to kill the "sick" people with powers. The waitress had a brain issue. I also think he takes the powers of the people he kills.
If anyone knows what the hell I'm talking about, please respond.
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Puffy Shirt
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Posted:Nov 28, 2006 2:47 pm
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2006 4:41 pm
1663 Views
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Well, it was very appropriate as I was doing last minute packing things that the “Puffy Shirt” episode of Seinfeld was on. There are two plots going on in this episode, one is with Jerry having to wear the puffy pirate shirt on the Today show and the other is George preparing to move in with his parents. The later part is what I can identify with as I will be moving back with my parents for a short time starting on Friday. As George was moving in, one part of the show really put a chill up my spine:
ESTELLE: Careful! Careful with the suitcases! We just painted!
KRAMER: Hello, Mrs. Costanza.
ESTELLE: Hello, Kramer. Close the door.
(They set down George's luggage)
KRAMER: Well, I gotta bring in more stuff. (Heads for the door)
ESTELLE: More stuff?!
KRAMER: Yeah. (Exits)
ESTELLE: (To George) How much is there?!
GEORGE: (Annoyed) There's more.
My very own mom asked the same thing on Sunday and told me to be careful as I was moving in my stuff. One difference is that I didn’t have Jerry or Kramer to help me!
Baring someone running in to me and discovering I have perfect hands and is willing to pay me lots of money to be a hand model, moving in with the folks will happen on Friday.
I’m moving in with my folks to be practical, not because I have to. First, no more rent means more money for life’s little expenses. It also means access to a big screen TV that has every cable channel available. It means getting back to nature (parents currently have 3 dogs and 3 cats. I say currently because my mom has empty nest syndrome). The empty feeling is not because of her , but her grandchildren that are living out of the area. Moving in with my parents means free meals and I will always have a clean room because my mom said I WILL keep it clean.
Yes, moving home will be a joy (sarcasm), but for now it is a smart and wise move. Don’t want to be stuck in a lease as I want to be free to join my other half at some point. All this being said, I still feel like a little bit of a loser for doing this as Jerry said in the episode last night “what kind of message are you sending when you decide to move back in with your parents?”
I know I should not complain because at least I have a place to go and my family is not that bad. My mom is just a little OCD about the house (but it is not really clean) and my dad walks around the whole time really, really bored. He is not handling retirement that well.
To keep my sanity, I might, from time to time, have to go stay at a hotel for the weekend just to have a little peace. I think that is a fair compromise.
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To link to this blog (halfmmmgoodnova) use [blog halfmmmgoodnova] in your messages.
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