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This tutorial is for those of you who kept asking about anal intercourse. I finally got busy and put something together. I am hoping this will help you out on your sexual journey and that the information I provide for you here will prove useful. I have also received suggestions and ideas from my patients that I have tried to include here as well so that I might provide you with the best information possible.
I’m sure that you’ve all heard the jokes that end something like this "If sex is a pain in the ass then you’re doing it wrong". Believe it or not it does have some bearing on this tutorial. Anal intercourse should not be painful.
Lack of preparation is probably the single biggest turn-off about anal intercourse. A typical scenario goes something like so. The couple decide to attempt anal intercourse but are not really fully prepared for it, he tries to push into her anus without much warning, she screams in shock and agony and ends up throwing herself away from the offending member and hits her head on the headboard. That’s the end of anal sex in their relationship.
With the proper preparations anal intercourse can not only be as safe as any other kind of sex, but at least as enjoyable if not more so than just regular intercourse. The anus can be a very erogenous zone and it contains more nerve endings than any other part of the body except for the clitoris. That said, I will also throw in my usual, this doesn’t necessarily work for everyone comment. Some will find it enjoyable and others won’t.
There are a lot of people who get hung up on the "you’re not sticking that thing in there" mentality. We have been so thoroughly conditioned to believe that touching our anus is bad never mind actually playing with it on purpose.
There is no necessary medical reason for the perceived taboo against anal intercourse. If we are honest with ourselves the idea of doing something we’re not supposed to is exciting. If you practice good hygiene there isn’t anything repulsive at all about it. It is a good idea to make sure that you’ve gone to the washroom prior to commencing your anal play. You can use an enema if you so desire, but it isn’t necessary. If you’re really worried, hop in the shower together and lather each other up and then you can be assured that everything is as clean as possible.
If you haven’t been with your partner for a very long time, then you should certainly be using a condom for anal intercourse. Many couples will use a condom for anal intercourse anyway. It’s not a good idea to go from anal sex to vaginal sex without first cleaning yourself very thoroughly. The bacteria that live in your rectum can really create havoc if they take up residence in the vaginal canal.
Now that you are a little more comfortable with the fact that it’s ok to be interested in anal sex you can start exploring your ass. If you’ve never had any experience with anyone playing with your ass you need to explore a bit on your own and see how it feels and get comfortable with the idea. In order to enjoy anal intercourse you have to be able to exercise control over your mind. If you are tense then your asshole is going to be closed tighter than a drum and nothing will be able to penetrate it. It is incredible just how big a part your mind plays in anal intercourse.
The best place to start your explorations would be in the bathtub. Draw yourself a nice warm bath and climb in. Alternatives would be the shower or even just lying down on your bed. Take your fingers and begin running them over the insides of your thighs and over your pussy. As you become comfortable, draw your legs up and run your fingers down the crack that run from your pussy to your anus. See how it feels when you lightly touch your anus with your finger. Try pushing several of your fingers down against your anus. If it feels pleasurable, you might want to try masturbating while your fingers are pushing down on your anus.
If you find that this produces pleasurable feelings for you or you think that it might keep up the exploration. Take it nice and slow, there isn’t any big hurry. The rectum is similar to an elastic pipe with a set of muscular rings at the end, the anus. The anus acts as a plug, to stop things from going out or letting them in. It tightens and loosens like purse strings on a bag and is fairly strong. The rectum can easily accommodate a large penis. Think about it, if the rectum can handle all your excrement then the smaller things like penises and fingers are really not a problem. The rectum is a sturdy flexible organ and isn’t going to be hurt by fingers or a penis or other similar objects unless there is intent to hurt. Before inserting a finger into your anus make sure that your fingernails are cut short and don’t have any sharp edges as they could easily scratch or tear the tissue inside the rectum and that won’t be a fun feeling at all.
Exploring Your Ass
After some preliminary touching you will find that you want to move on and actually insert a finger into your anus. At this point it is a good idea to have some good lubricant on hand. I personally would recommend a lubricant that is water soluble. I have been advised by some of my patients that Vaseline is also an acceptable lubricant as the rectum is a self-cleaning organism, unlike the vagina.
Make yourself comfortable on your bed or whatever spot you’ve chosen for your exploration and bend your legs slightly bringing your feet closer to your ass. Using one hand get into a comfortable rhythm of masturbation and take a finger of the other hand, usually the index or the middle finger works best, and apply the lubricant of your choice to it. Gently start to push the tip of your finger into your anus. You will feel it give way and your finger will go in a little ways. To insert the finger further you need to keep pushing gently and try to relax your anus. This will enable you to get past the thick muscle and into the rectum. This may feel a bit uncomfortable at first, and there may be a little bit of a burning sensation or irritation. This is a normal response, just try to relax your ass completely and continue the masturbation with your other hand. If you want to, bring yourself to climax with your finger still in your rectum and see how it feels. If this feels good to you, then by all means continue with your exploration. If it doesn’t feel good then withdraw the finger and try again another time. Take all the time you need to become comfortable with yourself.
If you have enjoyed yourself so far, then you might want to try wiggling your finger around inside your rectum and see what it feels like. The inside of the rectum is very soft and comfy. Try moving your finger around in different directions and see what different movements feel like. If you have your fingers from your other hand inside your pussy you can push them towards each other and feel them pushing on walls that separate them. Eventually you will want to stretch the rectum a bit more so that you can prepare for your partner’s cock at a later point.
One way to do this is to try sliding another finger into your rectum to join the first one and to try spreading the fingers as far apart as you can. Only do what feels comfortable for you. Don’t feel that you have to accomplish everything in the same day. You may do better if you explore a bit at a time over several days. Practice tensing and relaxing your anus around your fingers.
More than fingers
Now that you are comfortable with fingers, it’s time to move on to something a bit more realistic. A good dildo is excellent to practice with. You can obtain one at a love shop or order from many places on the internet. I would recommend one made of plastic rather than latex. Latex dildos are difficult to clean and have soft pores that bacteria could be harboured in. Don’t use anything with sharp edges or that can easily break.
On your own try inserting the dildo into your ass gradually, making sure that it is well lubricated. Try pushing it in and out of your anus while you masturbate yourself with the other hand. You may find that if your already excited from masturbating it is much simpler to push the dildo further into your anus.
From this point you can move on and involve your partner in the exploration process. Make sure that he is aware that you are setting the pace and not to rush the whole process. He will be greatly rewarded by the results of patience when he finally gets to experience your ass, especially if this will be a first for you.
There are a couple of ways to get your partner involved in the exploration of your ass. They are postillioning and analingus.
Postillioning is the insertion of fingers into the anus and may involve massaging it and the rectum. At it’s most extreme you can end up with anal fisting, but that’s a whole topic on it’s own.
The insertion of your partner’s fingers into your anus is a great lead up to the ultimate of anal sex or it can even be a pleasant enhancement to regular intercourse. This allows your partner to become familiar with how you may react during anal sex. It gives him a chance to explore your body with you.
Normally, I find that the index or middle fingers work the best, being a little longer than the others and stronger as well. Don’t forget the lube! Run your fingers over the anal opening, kneading and pressing against it. You can use a circular motion if you like. It’s just like giving a massage, you are helping the area around the anus to relax. Make the insertion by pressing gently and firmly inwards, wiggling the tip of your finger as necessary. At this point if your partner is comfortable and relaxed the finger should slide in fairly easily. On the other hand, if the ass is tense then your finger will not make any headway at all. You and your partner will have to decide at this point whether or not to continue or to perhaps leave it and come back to it another time.
Once your finger is past the anal opening you will feel the thick, strong, muscular ring which is the anus and beyond it, the soft sides of the rectum. You will need to keep at least your fingertip beyond the anus or the contraction of the muscle could just force the finger right out. When your finger is inside explore a bit, pushing the finger as far in as it will go, flicking back and forth.
A great way to enhance this exploration would be to suck on your partner’s clit or stick your other fingers in her pussy. I have found that this combination makes for some pretty powerful orgasms.
Now for the other way to explore the rear end. This method is typically called rimming or can also be known as "analingus". It involves kissing, licking and sucking the anus. A lot of people have a problem with this concept since we’ve been taught for so long that we’re not supposed to play with our asses, that they are dirty and bad. There is the possibility of getting VD or hepatitis from an infected person but the primary fears of rimming are mainly to do with smell, taste and personal preference. If these things are a concern to you, then perhaps the ideal time for this sort of exploration would be right after getting out of the shower. You can also buy dams, which are made from latex, very similar to the dams they use in the dental offices, only a lot thinner. You would apply this to the area, so that you would not be coming in direct contact with the person’s ass but they would still get all the great sensations.
Analingus works so well because the anus opening is so incredibly sensitive and the lips and tongue are warm and expressive. It’s easy to do and can be done in any positions where the buttocks can be spread far enough apart to admit the tongue. Run your tongue over the anus, licking it in soft wet strokes or circle it, running your tongue around the edge of it slowly and delicately. You can flick the tip of your tongue rapidly over the opening or try inserting your tongue as far as it will go pushing and stroking it back and forth. Try brushing your lips over the spot or sucking hard on the anus. If you are being rimmed try to push down the anus and relax the anus, it will expand a little outward giving your partner more area to caress or nibble at. Use your imagination and experiment. Just remember to pay attention to your partner’s reactions to your different techniques.
First Time Position
Now we can get into the really fun stuff... positions, positions, positions. Your positions should only be limited by your physical ability to get in and out of them and by what feels comfortable. Some positions will work wonderfully for some and not for others. It’s up to you to determine which ones work best. I will give you a few suggestions to start with.
The first one and probably the most important one in my mind is with the woman on top facing toward the man. I say this because if it’s your first time experiencing anal sex, this position will allow you to have control of the insertion of his penis into your ass. You will feel more comfortable because you will have the control over how far his penis was going or not going to penetrate you. You can stop when you feel you need time to adjust to the sensation and then continue when you feel ready to.
Ladies, all you need to do is to straddle your partner facing toward him. Make sure that you've got lots of lubricant applied to his penis and to your ass. You want to be able to have his penis slide in smoothly. Grasp his penis firmly and position the head at the opening of your anus. Hold it in place while you gently push your ass down against it. It will move fairly smoothly for the first little bit and then you are going to encounter some resistance, this is where the muscular ring is. To get past this point, you really need to relax and push down gently until you feel it pop past the muscle. Now, you might want to take a minute here to absorb how it feels so far. You may feel like you’re going to shit yourself. This is a normal feeling and you don’t actually shit yourself.
One of my patients had suggested that breathing plays a very big role in successful anal intercourse. It has been their experience that a woman will have a much easier time of it if she controls her breathing. If the woman takes a deep breath and exhales slowly during the initial penetration it makes the act more pleasurable for both partners.
Once you’ve adjusted, try pressing down further on his penis, taking more inside your ass. This is a good time for your partner to play with your breasts, stroke and play with your pussy or whatever else works for turning you on. The more sexually excited you are the less attention you are going to pay to any discomfort you might feel. Then you can start moving up and down on his penis, letting it slide in and out of your ass. You are in complete control and can wiggle side to side, move up and down as slow or as fast as you’d like. You can also control the depth and force of penetration.
When you’re comfortable with this, you may allow your partner to become more of a participant instead of having him remain passive. It’s all up to you and ladies I don’t think that he’s going to argue too much, especially if this is something that he’s been wanting to do and is finally getting the opportunity.
Here are some other positions that you can try out to see what you like best.
This position that works so well for regular vaginal intercourse is also a good choice for anal intercourse as well. Kneel on your knees and elbows, remembering to relax your ass. Your partner kneels directly behind your ass, facing towards you. He will then bend forward guiding his penis to your anus opening and gently pushes it inside. Entry is made easier if you try to draw his penis into your ass as he is pushing. Your partner can then move his penis around inside your ass by thrusting his hips forward and back, while you either remain still or can move your hips from side to side. This position allows for fairly easy and deep penetration.
In this position the woman lies on her back and pulls her knees up as close to her chest as she can manage and then rests her feet on her partner’s shoulders. The man pushes down on her face to face. If required a pillow can be inserted under the woman’s pelvis to raise it higher up. The man can also push the woman’s feet up over her head. This position allows for easy and deep penetration.
In this position both partners are standing facing the same direction. The woman can then bend over at the waist (it is a good idea to use a wall or chair or something for support). This can also be accomplished from a kneeling position at the edge of the bed. Depending on the height difference some adjustments may need to be made. This position is a convenient one for outdoor use and allows easy penetration and full movement provided there is something solid to hang on to.
Flat on stomach:
In this position, have the woman lay flat on her stomach (use a pillow to raise the hips if needed). This allows the woman to relax more fully and her hand are free to move wherever they like. Since the man will lay on top of the woman he can also be more relaxed and have freer hand movements. The penetration in this position is not as easily accomplished and thrusting is difficult. The woman is also fairly restricted in her movement.
Side by Side:
From the position above, the partners can fairly easily roll over onto their sides, both facing the same way, drawing one leg up. This position allows for greater relaxation of the bodies and hands are free to explore and caress. Entry is easy and penetration is fairly deep for this position. Movement can be rather limited, although vigorous thrusting is possible once you get used to the posture of the position.
Side by Side – facing together:
This is another variation to the two previous positions. In this particular position, the partners lie on their sides facing one another. The man must extend his pelvis in between the woman’s bent legs. This position allows deep entry and the hands are free for exploration. This position is also a little more intimate and allows for kissing and eye contact to take happen. Movement is fairly easy once insertion is made.
Hope you find this useful.
12/12/2005 4:09 pm
Wow you did a great job...... |