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I apologize to any Irish who read this.
4 Irishmen are sitting in a bar and the first one says "the fastest thing in the world has to be a blink." The second says "no no the fastest thing has to be a thought." The third one says, "no no laddy, the fastest thing has to be electricity, as soon as u hit that switch the light comes on." The fourth says "no the fastest thing has to be diarheoa.
"What do you mean, how can that be the fastes thing in the world?" They all ask.
"Well last night I had real bad diarheoa, and before I could blink, before i could think before I could turn on the light id shit myself.