| LOVE IS LIKE FINE CHOCOLATE |
Sep 2, 2007 2:32 am
379 Views | You meet someone. The connection is immediate and powerful. It isn't just physical; it rocks you to the core. From very early on you know this is something special. This could go somewhere. This could last.
So you start dating. He says all the right things, gives you just the right amount of attention. You dream of that first kiss until finally it happens. Just a light one, leaving you wanting more. Then deeper kisses, soft caresses, always leaving you wanting, craving so much more.
Every time he does something for the first time, you're ready for the next something. Touching you leads to his mouth on you. Then you want the clothes off, skin on skin. You want it all.
And then it's over. You've done it all. What's left? Of course, you do it more and it's great, but still you're waiting for that next step. You're dreaming of the day he'll say he loves you, the day he'll propose, the day you'll walk down the aisle...
In the meantime, you're missing so much. All the beautiful moments that only come once in a relationship. You're so busy waiting for the next phase, you neglect to enjoy this one.
If the relationship progresses, you'll be finished all too soon. The firsts will all be over and you'll settle into something secure and stable. And for the rest of your lives together, you'll look back on the early days together and wish you'd savored them more.
When you remember that first kiss, you won't remember how anxious you were to progress to touching. When you remember touching, you'll forget that at the time you were eager for more. How many of life's most precious moments do we miss by refusing to live in the moment?
Think of it like an expensive piece of gourmet chocolate. You only get one, so there's no need to rush to get to the next piece. Close your eyes, roll it around on your tongue. Really taste it.
Because before you know it, it will be gone. Leaving only the memory of how wonderful it was. | |
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| SPOONING WITH STRANGERS |
Aug 29, 2007 3:48 am
423 Views | I have weird issues with strangers touching me. Seriously. I've even passed up free professional massages because I couldn't bear the thought of someone I didn't know putting her hands on me. I knew she would be strictly professional, it just seemed wrong somehow.
So imagine my horror at the thought of going to a "cuddle party." If you haven't heard, it's all the rage in big cities around the world. Single people gather to touch each other...not in a sexual way but in a sweet, cuddling sort of way.
What could be more fun than spending Friday evening in a pile of bodies on a gym floor somewhere? Strange sweaty people all up in your space. People breathing on you, getting their yucky germs on you, fulfilling that basic human need to be touched. Now that's my idea of fun.
Okay, I'm sure you sense my sarcasm. Actually, a few of those interviewed have said they attended the meeting to get past their issues with being touched. And it's not that I'm crazy or anything. Within a romantic relationship I'm very touchy-feely. It's just in other areas of my life that I need people to stay out of my personal space.
So...say you intend to show up at one of these parties. Here's what you can expect. First there will be a group "welcome circle" that introduces everyone, tells them what to expect, and explains how to translate what they learn during the cuddle party in real life. Participants are trained to ask permission before touching someone and say "no" when they do not want to be touched. They learn to accept that rejection and go on from there.
After that initial welcome period, the participants spend two hours cuddling -- some in pairs and some in groups. Cuddling can mean spooning and full-body hugs, head rubs, feet touching -- whatever participants are comfortable with. No sexual touching is allowed. There are Cuddle Lifeguards around to help. (And to rescue anyone who might be touched in an inappropriate way, perhaps?)
Then there's a puppy pile. Yes, everyone piles on top of each other. Just like puppies:
Awww. Sorry, couldn't resist!
Then everyone says goodbye and some even exchange phone numbers. Guess once you've cuddled with someone, asking her for a date isn't so hard after all? | |
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| YOUR ASS IS GETTING FAT, SWEETIE PIE |
Aug 26, 2007 11:41 pm
410 Views | Honesty. Trust. They are the foundation of any good relationship. It is important to share everything with your mate, never hide anything. Don't lie. Deception erodes a relationship.
Think again.
Your wife has stopped watching her weight. In the past couple of years, she's put on a couple of pounds -- okay, a couple dozen pounds. It bothers you but you still love her. You just hate to see her let herself go like that.
You say nothing.
Since the day she met you, your immaturity has bothered her. She realized she was headed for an interesting road when she found herself standing in the toy aisle on your third date, looking for the latest Star Wars action hero.
She says nothing.
Billy Joel said honesty is such a lonely word. That sums it up better than I ever could. Honesty has taken down more than a few relationships. Sometimes honesty comes in the form of telling her you've had an affair. Or telling her you're secretly in love with her best friend. But sometimes honesty comes in the form of little things, spread out over time, that erode the other person's trust in you.
In any relationship, there will be things about the other person that drive you crazy. Little annoyances you learn to live with. Some of them you might complain about, like the fact that he leaves his dirty socks on the floor or her habit of declining sex if she has to get up early the next morning. But there are many little things you can live with and even, in some cases, learn to love.
When I worked in a clothing store, I once was ringing up a customer who had a long line behind her. As she was paying, her phone rang and she answered. "Hello?" Pause. "I'm at the drugstore, checking out. I'll be home in a minute." She was in a clothing store, remember?
As she hung up, the people around her were laughing. "You tell him," one of the women encouraged.
"Hey, he doesn't need to know everything," the woman said.
"They never do," someone agreed.
There are things you don't tell your significant other. You might see an attractive man at the mall while you're shopping. Or he might notice the new beautiful account executive at work is flirting with him. Telling the other person will only cause problems. Besides, it's no big deal. You are loyal to the person you are with, right?
What if your companion's breath smells? Or has an almost repugnant body odor? The words will hurt, but what is the alternative? Letting someone walk through life like that? At what point do you tell someone you love the truth...damn the consequences? And if you're the person being told the truth, how do you get past the pain those words cause? | |
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| THE RULES OF FIGHT CLUB |
Aug 23, 2007 12:35 am
Mood: bored, 399 Views | At times you can feel like you have never been closer to the man you love. And then there are times, rare but intense, that you feel like you've never been further apart.
No one likes to fight, but it's an inevitable part of a relationship. If you share space with someone, you are going to disagree. Sometimes it may feel that all you are doing is fighting. But if the fighting gets too out of hand, eventually you're going to fight your way right out of a relationship with the person. No one wants to spend life in constant battle.
Cooler heads prevail. So today I'm supplying you with a big 'ole ice pack, for use on that head of yours the next time you and your sweetie find yourself at odds with each other. If you'll just take a step back and look at the situation, even in the heat of battle, you'll figure out that what you are doing is completely, undeniably, counterproductive. There are ways to get what you want, ways to make the other person see your side, and those ways don't involve getting in his face and jabbing your index finger into his chest.
First, let's investigate why we argue. Communication itself is made up of two or more people expressing thoughts. Those thoughts are the sum total of their life experiences. Is one right? Is the other wrong? Possibly, but who's to say? In my world, I'm right because that's all I've ever known. You don't know my world so how could you see things the same way as I do? The goal is not to be right. The goal is to come to a compromise in which you are both happy.
Have you ever been with a person who constantly brings up past arguments? Annoying, isn't it? This happens for two reasons. One, the previous argument was not resolved. Until it is resolved, it will be a part of every fight you have for the rest of your lives together. It might be wise to investigate resolving that issue, for your own sanity. Another is that the person is looking for incidents from the past to support his or her current argument. All it does, though, is make you feel like every word you ever say is going to be held against you, which makes you want to clam up.
Rule number one of Fight Club. Stay focused on the subject at hand. If you are upset at something your lover has done that particular day, do not attack his personal integrity, the way his mother raised him, or the fact that he was ten minutes late for your first date five years ago. That is not going to get you what you want and it will more than likely lead you to say something you can never take back. Something the other person will throw back at you the next seventeen times you fight.
Rule number two of Fight Club. Do not get emotional. Cooler heads prevail, right? When you find your emotions getting involved, pull yourself back. Ask yourself, what do I want here? How do I communicate that in a productive manner? If the other person is yelling, take your tone to a dramatically lower one. If you speak on a calm, even keel, chances are the other person is not going to feel right yelling at you.
Rule number three of Fight Club. Listen. Yes, listen. Sometimes it's that easy. What is the other person's complaint? Dig deep down, beneath the obvious, to what the true problem is. He feels like you're always nagging him? Maybe what he really wants is to have a little time to himself when he gets home from work. But you aren't listening, so you take this to mean that he wants to escape from you, which hurts you. You strike back, and the fight begins. If you'll set aside your feelings for a minute, maybe you can come to an agreement that, for a set amount of time after he gets home, you won't overwhelm him with all the things he needs to do that evening.
Rule number four of Fight Club. This is not your high school debate team. The definition of "winning" is not "making the most convincing argument." There's no judge on the sidelines, no one who's going to say, "Ooooh, you got him!" It's you and the person you love and your goal is to work toward an outcome that makes you both happy. Pounding your views into him will only make him feel that you put more weight on what you think than what he thinks. Demonstrating that you value his opinions and concerns will make him want to open up to you, rather than shut down.
Rule number five of Fight Club. Realize you want the other person to be happy, first and foremost. This means getting out of attack mode and turning the tables back on yourself. Yes, the famous "I feel" statements all the therapists talk about. Instead of "You never take out the trash unless I ask you," try wording it as an "I feel" statement. How do you feel when he doesn't take out the trash? Is trash really the issue, or is it that you just want him to show he loves you by doing that one little thing?
Rule number six of fight club. You DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
Just kidding!
Compromise. That's what it's all about. If you want your relationship to last, you're gonna have to learn to do it. The payoff is well worth it in the end.
So...I'm interested in hearing from everyone else. What have you learned that has helped you in fights? | |
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| SAYING I LOVE YOU |
Aug 21, 2007 3:29 am
Mood: cheerful, 426 Views | I love you.
Just three simple words...but they mean so much. In the beginning of a relationship, it's all you can think about. When will he say it? How will he say it? Is he feeling it yet? Why is it taking so long? And God forbid he says it too soon. Or you say it first and he doesn't return it. With those three words, timing is everything.
You have to be confident of the "I love you return." That from Jerry Seinfeld. What happens when you say it too soon and it isn't returned? It just hangs out there, a big silence waiting to be filled. If you say those three words and he doesn't return them, where do you go from there? Do you break up? Wait a little longer and hope he eventually says them? And how much resentment will build up in that short time span?
Love is not something that has to be returned. It is something you feel, deep in your heart. If I love someone, that is a gift. It is my happiness and he cannot take it away from me no matter how he feels. But there's a time to feel it and a time to actually say the words, and the two don't necessarily coincide.
So many people wait for that one big moment -- a moment when they look at the other person and know, without a doubt, that it is love. But what I am proposing today is that there is no one big moment. Love is not something that "just happens." It is something that begins to build from the moment you meet the person and continues throughout the relationship.
You see someone across the room. There's an instant attraction. One of you makes the first move and you find yourself talking. The connection is immediate. He takes your number and you wait for that first phone call. Then the first date. The first kiss, first...everything else. He's on your mind every day; in fact, during this early stage you're probably more enamored by him than you will be years down the road, when your only thoughts of him are to wonder if he remembered to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home.
But it's not really love. Not yet. That's what some people say anyway. True love takes time. How long, though? Two months? Six months? A year?
As long as it takes for you to be comfortable saying the words. The truth is, you began the process of falling in love the instant you laid eyes on each other. Oh sure, it wasn't love. More like lust which turned to infatuation which brought on more lust... But, if it continues, it's all part of that gradual process of falling in love.
How do you know when you're in love? | |
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| IS IT CHEATING IF YOU PAY FOR IT? |
Aug 15, 2007 8:56 pm
430 Views | I was listening to a radio show the other day where the topic of conversation was prostitution. There were men calling in who seriously believed -- seriously -- that prostitution does not count as an extramarital affair.
"It's a business transaction," one of the men boldly stated. "No emotion is involved." You hand over some cash, get a need taken care of, and you're on your way.
You'd think most people would disagree with this...but much to my boyfriend's surprise, more people began calling in to support this notion. They brought up massage places that provide "happy endings." For some additional cash, the masseuse will give you a little extra rub...with a complete finish.
Certainly no emotion is involved in having your privates rubbed by some woman who doesn't even speak your language. But...is that cheating? What about lap dances at strip clubs? What if your spouse has an accidental "happy ending" there? After all, a woman wearing only underwear is writhing around on your man's lap. Something is bound to pop up...
Most people define cheating as "erotic physical contact." At what point is that erotic contact cheating? Dancing with a sexy woman in a club? Feeling up a stripper? Touching her leg? Her arm? Her breast...?
Infidelity is subjective. A couple should be on the same page from the beginning. If he feels that her flirtation with a male co-worker is inappropriate and she doesn't, then the couple has a problem. If his decision to visit a strip club with his friends makes her uncomfortable and he still does it...yet another problem. But is there any doubt in anyone's mind that having sex with a prostitute is cheating? I mean...come on! | |
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| GET AN UGLY GIRL TO MARRY YOU |
Aug 15, 2007 2:16 am
317 Views | "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife." --Jimmy Soul
"When you're in love with a beautiful woman, it's hard." --Dr. Hook
A pretty women makes her husband look small. With a beautiful woman, you have to watch your friends because they will hit on her. The message is clear in the two above referenced songs. Beautiful women just aren't worth the trouble.
Is a beautiful woman more difficult to live with? What struck me about both of those songs is how insecure a man would be to feel that way. The bottom line is, if you date down, you'll be happier because you'll feel bigger. She'll look up to you. She'll be so grateful to be with you, she won't ask for much...just give her a little attention and she's yours for life. And you won't have to worry about some other man stealing her away because no one wants her but you.
Of course, it's all ridiculous. how come we tend to date those within our same basic range of attractiveness. We are drawn to those of a certain outward appearance for a reason. But doesn't every man secretly dream of being with this:
I know the stereotype. A woman that beautiful would not be able to conduct an intelligent conversation. She'd be shallow, vain, and self-absorbed. Those are the stereotypes anyway, but are they always true? The answer is NO. Absolutely not. Beautiful women have gone to Harvard. They've run companies. They are just as likely to have as high a high IQ as a woman who is not so attractive. But the thinking behind that stereotype is that if a woman can coast through life on her looks, she does not have the motivation to work on other facets of herself as a woman who does not have that advantage would. So she spends all her time focusing on looking good and no time on developing other things.
The truth is, beauty comes with a price. A woman's eyebrows will not wax themselves. And if she wants to keep that hot body you admire so much, she'll have to watch what she eats which means no midnight sundae outings, no night out at the Mexican restaurant on weekends. And when she cooks for you, it'll likely be grilled fish or chicken with vegetables. Her afternoons will be spent working out at the gym and her weekends, at the mall shopping for clothes.
All that attention she has to pay to her makeup? That's attention that will be drawn away from you. Chances are, when she's out with you she'll be glancing at her reflection in the windows she passes rather than gazing adoringly into your eyes. And, believe me, anything can become a reflective surface. Spoons, knives, your sunglasses...
Then there's an old theory, sexist and demeaning though it sounds, that a less attractive woman will be better in bed. She's grateful to be with you -- she'll do anything for you. I have seriously heard that logic. But if that man is spending all his time fantasizing about someone else, what good will that do?
Or will he always fantasize about someone else?
Will any one person ever be enough?
Because we all know that newness will eventually wear off. And if all you have is a physical attraction, you'll find yourself sitting next to someone who may be nice to look at, but bores the tears out of you. And in those moments you'll realize it doesn't matter what she looks like on the outside...it's her heart and soul you should have fallen in love with. | |
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| TOO MUCH SEX? |
Aug 13, 2007 11:49 pm
Mood: horny, 370 Views | "I'm not having sex," my friend announced one day on the phone.
"Ever?" I asked.
"Not for a while. Maybe not until I'm married."
"Why on earth would you decide something like that?"
Her answer was simple. "I don't want to get hurt. And I don't want my numbers to go up."
I knew exactly what she was talking about. It seems like such a little thing, but everyone who is single knows someday he or she might find that one person who...well, matters. And when that person comes along, we would prefer to tell as noble a story about our lives as possible.
I once thought this was something that only concerned women, but a year ago a male friend surprised me. He was complaining (bragging) about a stripper throwing herself at him. I asked the obvious question. "Why didn't you go for it?"
I expected his answer to be, Because she is a stripper, you idiot. Instead he said, "I don't want to increase my numbers."
This wasn't something I'd thought a lot about, being new to the singles scene, but it made sense. Especially when he explained that someday he'd meet a girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he didn't want to say he'd slept with a hundred girls or whatever.
"I have a theory," a female single friend of mine said. She held up her hand, displaying all five fingers. "If I have sex with more than I can count on one hand, I'm officially a slut."
Five? Geez, this girl had been single for nearly 10 years and had less than five lovers? She must be the queen of self-restraint.
"It's you women who are always spouting off numbers," a guy I dated told me. "We really don't want to know."
My number is pretty low, and I've made no secret of it to the one or two men I've gotten halfway serious about in the past year. Did they ask? Heck no. I just volunteered the information, like an idiot. I figured I had nothing to be ashamed of, so why not? But the interesting thing is, not a single man has told me his number. I wouldn't want to know anyway but it kind of bothers me that I gave the information up with no reciprocation.
Besides, even if someone does tell you his or her number, how do you know it's the truth? Doesn't everyone shave one or two off? That one night stand you're embarrassed of or an ongoing booty call you're sworn to secrecy about?
I guess the question is, do numbers really matter? Is it possible, when we do find "the one," to just leave the past behind and head toward the future with an open mind? If men really don't want to know this info., why are women so quick to volunteer it? And do we really have to keep the numbers down, if the real solution is to avoid discussing it? | |
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| HES NOT INTO YOU: IS IT REALLY THAT EASY? |
Jul 29, 2007 11:41 pm
364 Views | I had to read it.This would be the book that did it. It would keep me from lowering my standards and putting up with all sorts of bad behavior. This was the book that would bring me the man of my dreams.
If he's into you, he'll call. He'll want to see you. He'll want to have sex with you. You'll never have to wonder what he's thinking or feeling because he'll be all too willing to let you know. And...do you know what I learned?
None of them were into me. Not a single one. No man called as often as I wanted or was as enthusiastic about me as I wanted. Eventually I couldn't help it. I lowered my standards. "But...this one calls me every day. That's more than anyone's ever done before." Uh-huh. So maybe I'd been dating him a month and had only seen him twice. At least he called. Right?
Here's the problem with the He's Just Not Into You theory. There are people for whom romance is just not all that important. Sure, they want to be with someone, but that desire is mixed in with work concerns and home repairs and having fun with the boys. It's not that he's not all that into you...it's that he's not all that into...well, love. A least not as much as you are.
So if you're the type of person who lives with passion, who loves that feeling of being in love, it can be a little disconcerting to find yourself in a relationship with someone who doesn't. And it can feel like he's not really into you, when actually he's just trying to squeeze you in with everything else he's got going on in his life.
Maybe he likes to go slowly. Play it cool. Maybe he learned long ago that when he comes on too strong, women run. So he wants to see you every night but he holds back out of fear of losing you. You assume he's not all that into you and back off and he walks away, assuming you aren't interested in him.
See how that book could destroy a perfectly good relationship?
But there are merits to the theory. The plain, ugly truth is that women like to make excuses for the men in their lives. "He's just busy." "He's going to leave his wife just as soon as the kids are grown." "It's just a really stressful time for him right now. I know he didn't mean to forget my birthday."
Men are always perplexed at the amount of time women spend analyzing their behavior. They really are fairly simple. If they don't want to be with you, it's not because they were neglected as a child or their fifth-grade girlfriend was mean or they're secretly gay. Okay, maybe in some cases that's possible, but most of the time they just aren't feeling it. And they don't know how to tell you...or maybe they just think if they stick around long enough, the feelings will magically appear.
It's not just a male thing. Think about it. All of you women have had that moment when you realize some man wasn't quite "it" for you. What did you do? Certainly you weren't waiting by the phone for his call. And when finally you gave into the guilt -- or loneliness -- and called him back, what excuse did you give him. That you had been busy with work?
You weren't all that into him, right?
Maybe you're not all that into this one either. | |
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| FOR THOSE OF YOU IN PAIN... |
Jul 26, 2007 10:35 pm
Mood: depressed, 383 Views | He was lost. Beyond lost. He didn't even know where to begin to try to find his way out of this mess. But up ahead, he saw hope,an old gas station.
On the front porch of this old gas station sat four old men. The traveler pulled in and got out of his car. These men would help him find his way.
"You lost?" one of the men asked as he approached.
"I'm trying to get to the highway."
"Oh. You're way off track."
One of the men began giving directions and our young traveler tried to listen. But a sound distracted him. A barely perceptible high-pitched noise. He looked around and saw a sad dog lying next to one of the men.
"Here buddy," the traveler said and the dog rose and laboriously made his way over to him. As he petted the animal, he noticed the dog no longer whimpered. Eventually the dog grew bored with the stranger's gentle touch and returned to his original spot. After walking in circles for a half a minute or so, he plopped down in the exact same place he'd occupied before. And promptly resumed whimpering.
Finally, the traveler had to know. "What's the matter with your dog?" he asked the man who was sitting in the rocker closest to the dog.
The man looked down as if just noticing the dog for the first time. "Oh, that's Buster. He's lying on an old rusty nail."
The man was confused. If the dog was in pain, why did he continue to stay on the nail? And why had he gotten up, only to return to the same spot which was hurting him?
"Why doesn't he move?" the traveler finally asked the old guy.
The old guy shrugged. "Guess it doesn't hurt bad enough yet."
Someone told me this old story last year, when I was going through a difficult time. I heard her message loud and clear but I still chose to stay in my situation. I stayed until I could take no more. But it was long past the point when the whimpering had begun. Long past knowing that even though I hated to lose someone that meant that much to me, it was better to cut ties than to keep hurting. But I chose to keep hurting...
Just how badly does it have to hurt before we finally get off that old rusty nail? | |
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| Rules For First Dates: For Guys |
May 22, 2007 6:04 pm
Mood: annoyed, 525 Views |  | I'm dead sure that some of you have noticed that as of late, I'm pretty annoyed with the way most guys, and girls, act sometimes when they are out in public. But seriously, this is pretty basic shit I'm speaking here.
Moving on...
I've been on a lot of dates. And the first one, is always the make-or-break of any potential relationship you might have. Now, this is rulebook will apply to an actual date. Jerking off on the webcam, that's not a date guys. Anyone that needs to adhere to these rules, certainly isn't ready for the commitment of blowing a load over the Internet, trust me. Leave that to the professionals.
The rules of a first date, or meeting, are pretty simple, so I shouldn't have to really sit here and talk about them, but alas, I am called upon by the stupidity of those who never get any, to speak out and lend a helping hand.
1. Dress the part - Guys, I can't stress this enough, you have to dress well. Makeup, shitty dyed hair, and everything else in that category, no. That won't do. My suggestion is to ask her what she's wearing. This not only looks like you don't wanna overdress for the situation, but it also sets a standard for both of you.
Hey, if she's wearing an evening gown, leave the Billabong shirt at home. Honestly, nothing is as ackward as not being dressed for the occassion, but remember, letting her decide, that will score you some brownie points.
2. Be a fucking gentleman - Look, we all know the joke about an open can of tuna being potpourri in a Lesbian's apartment, but if you have a woman's liberator on a date with you, keep that shit to yourself!
You want to guarantee she won't call back? Let her open the door to the joint you're eating at, or your car. How about talking like a sailor? That will impress absolutely no one, and truth be told, if you're on a date with a woman who can curse like that, you probably need to go back to the basics with the kind of women you choose to date anyway.
3. Table Manners - This sort of is like 2a., really. But this one is super important. You want to look like you were raised in a barn, and make your parents look like they don't know shit? Eat with your mouth open.
Quite possibly nothing might be a bigger turnoff for a classy woman than a fucking slob like this. Also, do not, under any circumstance, put both elbows on the table. This is pretty fucking obvious.
At least 60% of guys as being guilty of is not knowing how to properly use a fork. Holding it like it's a chisel, isn't how you hold it. You hold it like you would hold your razorblade when cutting, in your other hand. You use the index finger as your leverage, and then slice with the dominant hand.
This isn't fucking rocket science. Anyone that can't use a basic fork and knife better not find one of those stuck up Sushi lovers, because the chopsticks will make you look like a complete loser.
Also, napkin on your lap. No explanation needed.
4. Making A Move - This one is pretty much felt out, but don't feel her out TOO much. I mean, that's assault to some first dates. You really have to gauge the situation, not knowing how to do without trying to feel things they shouldn't, right away.
If a woman is enjoying your company, go for the kiss. Honestly, if she says no, then don't do it. Try again later, after all is more comfortable.
A woman says no about things like this, because she has not been given any reason to say yes. So take that no, and turn it into a yes.
I can say this about a first date, and the 'Non-first date' types. They typically mean it, but, they can be wooed. And the only way to do it, is to be a man they can't resist. I mean, like goddamn Prince Charming. You need to be just like that to this woman, to make her heart warm, and you know what else...
5. First Date Sex - Hey, those that can, should. Now, if she doesn't give it up, that's fine. She might go down on you, if you play your cards right. Weirder things have happened, right? I mean, she said yes to a date, right?
But if a woman says she will on the first date, and you don't, I want to let you know this much, don't tell anyone she offered.
But, don't be a dick. She doesn't put out, then fine. Trust me, that's what the 2nd date is for, and if you did your job on the first one, you'll probably get it on the 2nd.
But remember this too, they all have one of those, so don't get caught up on chasing one individual one. Believe me, they all have one, and yes, they are for the most part going to let a good guy in there.
But, I'm not speaking about her pussy guys. I'm speaking about her heart. And this is the more advanced lesson here.
6. Hearts and Minds - The secret to winning a woman's heart, is actually caring about having it. No woman wants to be with a guy she feels doesn't hold that as the number 1 prize, the ultimate throne in your kingdom. You put a woman's feelings, heart, and emotions first, I'm going to warn you: She will fuck you in every single way you could ever imagine, because she knows you mean it, and you'll probably end up being the broken and bruised one.
This is what they live for. A non-douchebag that actually cares, making them smile and feel like the most important person on the planet.
A real, a very good man can joke about womanizing. I mean, it is a joke.
Everything you ever wanted, you can have if you have the right woman a wise man once told me. Every woman you ever wanted, you can have, if you listen to a wiser man on the subject.
Regard their feelings, be a gentleman, dress like you want to be the king, and believe this, if she says no still to you, hey, fuck it and move on. That's her loss.
But if you act like a complete asshole, and disrespect her by not following the basic rules of a first date, you're the asshole; not her.
That is all I have for now. Feel free to comment. |
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8 Comments | |
| Wanna Ride me? |
Mar 15, 2007 6:49 pm
674 Views | If you're a man looking to buy a new car, or a new "used" car, this blog is for you. Most guys get a car based partly on what type of punany they can pull while driving them. So with that in mind, listed below are some helpful hints on what types of women are attracted to what kinds of cars.
Mustangs- True, if you get one of these bad boys, you'll be going fast and looking mighty stylish! But alas… it seems that stangs specifically attract women of the over-eating variety. Yes, I mean fat chicks. Could it be the look? Maybe. Could it be the fact that it's made in America? Perhaps. But my theory is that fat chicks love Mustangs because they can ride through the drive through at Burger King quicker in those cars than normal. Hey, if you like larger women, there's nothing wrong with that. But if your not looking to "run on diesel," you should avoid buying a mustang.
Hondas- Logic would dictate that Hondas attract Asian chicks, but they really don't. Not necessarily, anyway. It's been my experience that if you drive around in a Honda, you'll attract a certain type of girl who goes to college, listens to music like "COLDPLAY," and wears Abercrombie and Fitch or clothes from the gap. Girls who like sailing, like to ski, and are looking for a future husband who can support them. Remember, Honda's are reliable, yet unspectacular, so that's the type of women you'll be attracting. Reliable, yet not all that hot looking!
Saturns – I, myself, drive around in a Saturn. And although I personally love how the car handles and such, it doesn't attract the type of woman I'd prefer it attracted. For some reason, Saturns draw more lesbians to it than a Melissa Etheridge concert. You don't have to be a lesbian yourself for this to happen, as many times I've been complimented on how my car looks by chicks with bigger forearms than Shaquille O'Neal. I guess this would explain why I haven't really had any ass in a while, that and why I keep getting free WNBA tickets.
Cadillacs and or Lincoln TownCars -There is only 2 types of women driving a Caddy or Towncar attract these days; really skanky "Guidettes," or old school black women. Years ago, and I mean YEARS ago, driving a Cadillac was a sign of success. Gangsters drove them, celebs drove them, and pimps drove them. But those days are pretty much gone. People, who have money, don't bother with Caddy's anymore. They ride around in BMW's or Benz's. I will admit that some pimps still do cruise around in Caddy's, hence why black women in their 40's would be still down for that.
Any type of SUV- Men have to be careful here. If you're single, and looking to just get laid, this may not be the type of thing you should drive around in. But if you're looking to meet a single mother, then you couldn't pick a better way to do so. Single moms love a man with an SUV because it's a "family" type vehicle and they're looking for a "baby's daddy." Rides to the park, rides to doctor's appointments, rides to spend all that child support, you get the drift! Hard to do driving a Hyundai Elantra!
BMW's- This is an obvious one. BMW's attract gold diggers and chick's looking for "Cake Daddies." I don't care if you're a 50 year old bald, fat guy, if you drive a "Beamer," you can get some hot looking ladies that are half your age. They may only be into you for your dough, but anybody who would buy those cars in the first place pretty much understands this. You're buying status, and your basically putting out an advertisement that you're looking for an arm piece. But I can't really hate though. If I had the means, I'd get me a BMW, pronto. It's a pussy magnet, and unlike my Saturn, I'm talking about the kind of lady who doesn't smell like a can of freshly opened tunafish when you shake her hand.
Ford Escorts, or any kind of GEO car or Kia- These kinds of cars are all bitch cars. No real man would be seen driving any of them for any reason. If you own one of these things, than the only type of person you'll be attracting is other men looking for some manly love. Seriously, I can't remember the last time I saw a straight guy driving around in a Ford Escort? Those cars are pieces of shit in the first place, and are made strictly for women drivers. Any man, who rides around in one of these things, should be wearing a skirt! | |
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7 Comments | |
| boyfriend application form |
Mar 12, 2007 3:25 am
658 Views | 1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Fave Color:
4. Are you a virgin?
5. Do you have a crush on me?
6. Would you kiss me?
7. ...with tongue?
8. Would you enjoy it?
9. Would you ever ask me out?
10.Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?
11. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
12. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?
13. Would you walk on the beach with me?
14. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?
15. Do you/have you talk shit about me?
16. Do you think I'm a good person?
17. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)?
18.Do you think I'm hot?
19. If you could change anything about me -would you?
20.Would you have sex with me?
21.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
22. what do you rate me outta 1-10?
23. phone number | |
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11 Comments | |
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