| WHY PLAYERS ARE BAD IN BED |
Jun 1, 2008 3:45 pm
228 Views | Last week I posted a blog about players, in which an argument broke out over whether or not a man is actually a 'player' if he's not good in bed. A true player would ruin a woman for all other men because he'd have his technique down pat. A true player would be a man a woman would never, ever forget.
I call bullshit.
First of all, let's make clear the people making these claims are men. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but men are the last ones to speak out on which men are better lovers than others because, guess what? Most of these men have never slept with another man. So how the heck would they know?
A man who is a player generally has sexual experience. He's been with a wide variety of women...ONCE...and a few women more than once. He has his technique for picking up women down pat. So naturally he'd brag he's on his game once he has her in bed. Otherwise, how would he get so many women to sleep with him?
Because a woman wouldn't agree to go home with a man unless she KNEW, up front, that he was going to be good?
What? Is there some sort of system for finding out the prowess of a man we're thinking of going to bed with? A sort of "sexual background check?" Do they provide references? A list of phone numbers? Maybe somewhere there's an application women can download to take to bars with us. That way, when a man hits us with his best pickup line...
...we'll just be a few seconds away from sheer ecstasy.
No, we don't know. We have no idea. We go by the way you look at us, the way you carry yourself, and the way you look. That's all we have to go on in the beginning. If a woman has decided to hook up with a guy right away, what else is she going to know? She'll have no idea what will happen once you're between the sheets.
In every relationship I've ever had, the sex got better as our feelings deepened. The first time was, quite frankly, not all that good. No matter how much experience he had, how good his technique, the emotional part just wasn't there and, guys, say what you want but to a woman, emotions mean a whole hell of a lot.
And let's just dispel this notion right now that you can "ruin her for all other men." Ha! If you "pump and dump" her, you can rest assured she's not going to spend the rest of her life mourning that one steamy night in August with some skanky guy she picked up in town. But, whatever gets you through the night.
Usually only in the comfort of a relationship does a woman begin to open up about what she wants. Over time, a man learns her body, learns what works for her. He takes that to the next relationship, where he refines it based on what that woman wants. The player, on the other hand, has a series of one-night stands and booty calls with women who do not care about "teaching him" how to make her body hum like a well-oiled machine. To her, he's a human vibrator. A little companionship for a short time. Or maybe just a wild fling to fulfill some secret fantasy she's always had.
The truly good lovers aren't the players. The TRULY good lovers are the men who have had a lifetime of long-term relationships. They are the men who fall deeply in love with a woman to the point of wanting to please her. They are more concerned about her satisfaction than their own. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but for a player, the only thing motivating him to satisfy her is ego.
Casual sex is generally selfish sex. Sure, you want the other person to be happy but mostly you're satisfying a need within yourself. The woman you are with could be anyone and you'd be happy, as long as she was reasonably attractive and willing.
When you have feelings for someone, you take your time. You kiss her, touch her in all the right spots. You revel in her pleasure as much, if not more than, your own. If you think a woman can't tell the difference between sex and making love, then you aren't thinking like a woman. If you think a woman doesn't notice that you have a wall up, you know nothing about female intuition.
What do you think? Can a player be good in bed? | |
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