Why Do We Care?: Monogamy  

goodguy_badboy 34M
12 posts
10/4/2005 10:26 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why Do We Care?: Monogamy


Welcome to the first addition of, Why Do We Care? In today's issue we take a look at monogamy. I want to start by saying in this post I am neither arguing against or for monogamy, simply positing some questions based on basic curiosity.

So, why DO we care? Is it an "evolved" emotion? Why is emotion involved in the first place? Okay, so you find someone who you fall madly in love with. Great! That is a wonderful thing and it should not be downplayed. If that is the only person you want to be with that is great too! But why does it hurt us so when the one we love is with or even flirts with someone else? Though not in all civilizations, most humans have a sense of ownership and entitlement. We feel that there are certain things that are ours and no one else should be able to have these things. This is the only thing I can think of to attribute to the emotions involved, and that is a bit barbaric because it is saying we think we own people.

If you think about it from an evolutionary standpoint the only purpose of sex is to pass on one's genes, therefore it could be said that monogamy is more important for women in this sense than men. Women in pre as well as early history would benefit most from finding a strong man who could provide for and protect her and their offspring and procreate with him. Since a woman can have only one pregnancy at a time she does not have any need for more than one man. Therefore, the emotions that a woman may have if her spouse or significant other were to cheat on her may be "evolved" emotions in order to keep the strong provider/protector with her and their offspring. However, there are tribes even today in which the men have multiple wives who all work together, each having special duties in the household, and each procreating with their one husband. In that light the question of why a woman would want her husband/significant other to only be with her is still unanswered.

As far as men go, it would be (evolutionarily speaking) more to their advantage to have multiple wives. This is because, in order to most successfully pass on their genes they would benefit from having sex with as many women as possible to increase the chances of having more offspring in general and more that will survive to further pass on their genes. Yet, men have emotions of anger, jealousy, etc. if their significant other cheats on them. Why? What reason is there for only wanting your significant other to be with you. I can not say I do not have these emotions, but I myself do not understand them.

So, (again, evolutionarily speaking) it is more advantageous for men to get around and have sex with as many women as possible as many times as possible, while for women having only one husband to stay with her and provide for/protect her and their offspring would be the best option. However, both sexes have strong negative emotions tied to their significant other being with anyone else. The main question here is, what purpose do these emotions serve. I can not think of any. What are your thoughts?
{In this post I am only referring to straight men and women, homosexual issues need another post all together.}

goodguy_badboy 34M

10/6/2005 12:33 am

This was meant as an open to a discussion. Some thoughts people! I know this isn't too much for you. Perhaps not fully appropriate for this website, but for the blog atmosphere yes.


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