|Blogs > goldinboy2 > lost in paradise|
A guy walks into the local welfare office,marches up to the counter and says,
"Hi... you know, I just hate drawing welfare.I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours,meals will be provided.
You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips You will have to satisfy her sexual urges.
You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year.
The guy, wide eyed,says,"your bullshittin me."
The social worker says,"Yeah, well you started it."
A Lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself.She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.
Magic Beer," he says
She thinks he's a little crazy,so she walks around the bar,but after realizing there is no one elkse worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,"That isn't really Magic Beer ,is it."
"Yes I'll show you."
He takes a drink of beer, jumps out the window,flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.
The lady can't believe it." I bet you can't do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender,"Give her one of what I'm having."
She gets her drink,takes a gulp of beer,jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories,breaks ever bone in her body,and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says,"You know,Superman, your a real asshole when your drunk."
Hope you enjoyed a good laugh. Later
3/29/2006 4:36 am
hahaha both great jokes, the welfare one had me dying hahahah. Ive heard the second one before too. Very cool post dude and thanks for the laugh early in the am.|