Breaking up is hard to do  

goldinboy2 60M
404 posts
1/25/2006 6:47 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Breaking up is hard to do

Well I've been dating this woman on and off for about a year, local girl know her since highschool, but it has finaly gotten to the point where She is getting way to attached. When we first started dating i made it clear that I didn't want a commitment, I was just divorced from a very tring marriage just moved back into the area and was setting up a buisness. Had a lot of things I wanted to do in the short time I have left on this earth, But No first it was ok we went out now and then I helped her out with getting her own house and family stuff,she has 2 kids one 24 the other 17, both still live with her. The last few months though she gets very angry when I want to do something on my own or with friends, you know I don't like hurting someones feelings but I have a big problem with angry women my ex had major anger issues amongest other things. so no way will i get invorved in that again. Now I'm getting the letters and emails and crying and hurt feelings. This is not the way i wanted it to end up. But I know I have to end it or the feelings will get hurt even more and she always was a good friend to me I hope that someday that will still be there but I think I should keep my distace What does anyone else think. HELP

goddessofbitches 41M/33F

1/25/2006 7:29 pm

Hey Sweetie...

Sorry to hear about this. I know that you are a really sweet guy and you don't want to hurt her, but you need to sit down with her and be firm. Don't show any emotions, except when you know they will help get your point across. If you do, she will take it as weakness and try to twist words.

Now tell her that you want to make sure she is clear still that YOU DON'T WANT A COMMITMENT. Stress the word COMMITMENT. Tell her that being friends with her is great. You laugh together, your there for one another, but that's about as far as it goes. There is no us, no future WE until both of you are ready. And you aren't.

Inform her that she has a choice. If she thinks that she can handle being in a "no strings attatched" relationship, then you guys can talk things out to try to fix the little crack in the friendship wall. But, if she says she can't handle it or she wants more from you, then you need to tell her it is both of your best intrests to take a major time out for now.

I hope this helps, and you feel free to email me if you want anymore advice. I deal with this stuff a lot, being a woman who makes friends with other women for "Friends with benefits" and other combinations.

I tend to give "GREAT ADVICE" although...there are times, that without ALL of the details, I may not be much help.

Take this as an open invitation to email me anytime you want.


Always The Bitch

dasher121 36M

1/26/2006 5:17 am

Sorry to hear about that, and unfortunately, things will spin out of control like that.

The best thing to do, be honest. Be upfront, and true to what YOU want and need in your life. Its wonderful and great to help and look out for others, but you need to secure yourself as well, as you stated that you are trying to do.

Other than that, the ultimate decision is on you. I wish you luck with it, not an easy thing I know. But as long as you are open and honest about it, than you have nothing to hate yourself for. because you did try.

goldinboy2 60M

1/26/2006 6:20 am

Mandy thanks that is some very good and well thought out advice, and I will and have been trying to do just that,she is a very nice woman but has to many issues.

goldinboy2 60M

1/26/2006 6:22 am

Thanks dude its nice to get advice from the "younger generation" there out look is often better suited to todays living.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
1/26/2006 9:10 pm

Unfortunatly she is trying to control you by guilt. Thats a hard thing to say no to, but if you dont you lose your freedom. I hate guilt trips but they are effective. I would try not to get feelin too bad about it and go about your business.

tillerbabe 56F

1/27/2006 12:20 am

Be honest. Take care of you.

goldinboy2 60M

1/27/2006 5:49 am

Saint, thanks glad you stoped by 5 deg out my door this morn I think I'll worry about not freezing today.

goldinboy2 60M

1/27/2006 5:50 am

Tiller, I'm so impressed you stoped by (Blush) thanks Nice legs to wooohooo

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