Rules of Engagment---THREEsomes and MORE  

goddessofbitches 41M/33F
5317 posts
8/9/2005 10:05 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Rules of Engagment---THREEsomes and MORE

To my fellow Bloggers....
This is a very serious subject for me. I believe 100% that being in a threesome or more can be very dangerous to a couple. If they don't take the right steps and go head first into sex with someone else....someone's feelings can and probably will get hurt...so for the sake of this happening I am typing a checklist type thing that should be used to help better prepare couples. If you know of someone who is just considering adding someone to their sex life...send them here or copy paste this in and email and inform them. They need to know.

1.) Sit with your partner and decide if this is something you WANT to do. If either person in the relationship has ANY doubts...don't do it. You should have your own reasons for wanting to do it...and if the only thing you can come up with is "I want to do it for him/her," then that isn't good enough and I don't suggest you go any further. Decide what you expect to gain or what you want to experience.

2.) Decide on who you want to become the third party. In my case, my husband and I decided that men where not up for discussion. I have no real interest in bringing another man into my bedroom and neither does he. So on my rules I put #1...NO MEN. So, if this is a men only or women only...then stick to that. If later on down the road...you discuss it with your partner and then your partner OK'S it...then you can change the rule. But do NOT just bring the other member of sex into your house (without discussion) and EXPECT your partner to be ok with it. They won't be.

3.) Talk about what things are allowed in the bedroom. Talk about what things you WILL NOT do (girls---will not ass fuck----guys---will not suck member of same sex dick) and things you DON'T want to see the member of your relationship do.
I don't like to watch my husband kiss another woman the way he does me. So unless I approve a kiss before hand...his lips must stay away from another woman's lips, or there can't be any tounge action involved. Pecks on the lips are ok.
It can be a very painful thing to see the person you love doing something that you consider special between the two of you. So...you must make EVERYTHING clear as to what your limits are.

4.) Discuss possible scenarios and decide what is allowed and what isn't allowed. Is one member allowed to have sex with someone while the other is not home. Is someone allowed to have sex with someone by themselves while the other watches.
What if someone suggests that you try something you have never tried before. Will you say go ahead and try it or will you save experimenting for private sex with your partner. These things can and sometimes do come up...so you need to prepare for that.

5.) MOST OF ALL... REMEMBER. YOU ARE INVITING SOMEONE ELSE INTO YOUR BED. THIS PERSON SHOULD BE NOTIFIED OF ALL RULES AND ALSO BE ALLOWED TO INFORM YOU OF THEIR RULES. RESPECT THEIR RULES AND THEY WILL RESPECT YOURS.
ALSO REALIZE THAT THIS PERSON AND YOUR PARTNER ARE GOING TO ENGAGE IN SOME TYPE OF TOUCHING...unless otherwise discussed...IF YOU DO NOT THINK THAT YOU CAN HANDLE SEEING THIS GOING ON BACK OUT NOW. RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD NOT BE PUT ON THE LINE. IT ISN'T JUST THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE'S DECISION...IT IS YOURS AS WELL...AND IF AT ANY TIME YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE...BACK OUT. LEAVE THE ROOM OR CALL TIME OUT.
REMEMBER TO PLAY SAFE AND DON'T LET YOURSELF THINK THAT YOU CAN'T STOP WHAT IS GOING ON OR THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT.

There will be a part two tomorrow....it will concern "WHAT IF's". If anyone has any questions...comments...or add ons...feel free to leave them in the comments section

HUGS~~~MANDY


Always The Bitch


lenore00 33F

8/9/2005 11:02 pm

I posted a thread about this in the magazine, what happend really got to me, and Id like you to read it..

~amber


TaZmAnIa2002 37F

8/10/2005 4:16 am

Mandy,

This is something that everyone must read, im glad someone has decided to bring this issue up... No one should get into something like this without talkin every little detail out and carefully choosing what can and can not be done or even discussing whether who is right or wrong to bring into the picture..

Hugs

Angie


goddessofbitches 41M/33F

8/10/2005 8:27 am

Amber--- Thanks...I will read it first chance I get.

Angie--- Exactly. I know of a few people who ask the question "How do I start a threesome?" "WHat do I do when we decide we are ready for a threesome?" So I decided to start something on it.

Jezebelle---that is such a pretty name by the way.....
That is exactly why I wrote it. I have heard of many couples who don't prepare themselves and the relationship goes sour after one encounter with another person. So, I just wanted to make sure I had this out in the open for others considering to take that leap with their partner...

HUGS~~~MANDY

Always The Bitch


rm_blackhat1952 64M
101 posts
8/10/2005 9:04 am

Mandy
I agree with you totally! Sharing your bodies with new people can be dangerous to your relationship. There has to be open communication and an understanding of what each wants.

In the 80s my then wife and I had a female friend who came around about twice to three times a month. After one weekend of what I thought was totally wonderful sex my wife became a bit distant. She remained distant even after a couple more times we all had been together. It took many times of asking in many ways what was wrong. Finally she broke down and told me! I came in our third first. I hurt my wife’s feelings doing something I didn’t even think about.

Another time with a new partner, just 18 was lying on her stomach after. I told her she had a nice butt. My wife took that to mean hers wasn’t! Communications, and sometimes just the way you say things are important!

I wish both you the best of luck in overcoming these and more challenges, if that’s what you want to do!


goddessofbitches 41M/33F

8/10/2005 2:26 pm

Black Hat--- Thanks for sharing. Make sure that you share these expiriences with others.....

HUGS~~~MANDY

Always The Bitch


lenore00 33F

8/10/2005 5:40 pm

You better read it, and I expect a comment on it also! I put alot of effort into that, and I dont see anything from you, even if you didnt like it

~amber


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