Rules of Engagement ...Threesomes and more....Pt2  

goddessofbitches 41M/33F
5317 posts
8/10/2005 8:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Rules of Engagement ...Threesomes and more....Pt2

So yesterday, I made a standard list of some things that you should make sure you do BEFORE inviting a third person to your bedroom. There are some other things you should do as well.

1.) Stick to your RULES. If you feel that your partner or the other someone is pressuring you to do something YOU ALREADY SAID you weren't going to do...stop what is happening and talk to them about it. You DO NOT have to go along with anything you don't want to do.

2.) Have trust in your partner. I know this is a big one, but, in order for me to watch my husband with another woman, I have to trust him. I do. I know that he married me for a reason....because he LOVES ME. I know that and I trust him whole heartedly. It is important to trust your partner because without trust....there can be no relationship.

3.) Realize that in a three people situation...you should try to keep it as sex and nothing more. If you let your mind wonder...you may ask yourself if that third person you are inviting to your bed is in love with you or whatever. I am not saying that there should be NO FEELINGS and all... But I am saying it is best to leave most feelings of Love and other EMOTIONS at the door.

4.) One very big thing for some is..."WHAT IF MY PARTNER CROSSES THE LINE?" and often related is "WHAT IS OUR THIRD PERSON CROSSES THE LINE?"

Simple....talk to them about it first. Let them know that something is NOT OK. If something happens...Like in one guys case on advice lines...
He said his wife slept a man that they had threesome with...but the husband was out of town.

There is a line in which you do not cross. There she cheated...even though the guy had been part of the threesome....she shouldn't have had anything to do with him while her husband was out of town. Now, if there was a rule that stated it was ok for her to do such activities...and sometimes there are such rules with other couples...then...of course it is not an issue. But in this situation...said man came over to the house when he knew hubby was out of town and wife and guy got it on....Therefore...In my opinion...he should never be allowed in their bedroom again. He is obviously a temptation that she can't stay away from. And you want to prevent people from interfering with your relationship.

5.) "What happens if I put down something in my rules and after I tried it, I hated it?"
Then change the rule. There is an exception to NO CHANGING THE RULES...and this is it.
Take me for instance. My husband and I never really discussed kissing in our rules the first time we had a threesome. But, after seeing him kiss another woman...I added it. WE also had a rule about the woman sleeping with us. The rule was....After we did the deed, if the woman was comfortable with us...instead of sleeping on the couch...if she was staying the night, she may sleep in the bed with us. My husband would be in the middle. But, after that first time, I woke to being uncomfortable with another woman snuggling with my husband in her sleep. So, I changed that rule. I decided that I would be the one sleeping in the middle and that way, I could snuggle with my hubby all I wanted and the other woman couldn't. I know that sounds kinda selfish...but..I'm sorry...I feel that sleeping next to my husband and cuddling is a sacred thing. I was nice enough to say the other woman could sleep with us...so she would be comfortable...but now...I have just dropped the rule on my husband being in the middle of the two of us.

There is a possible Part three...I may go ahead and type my rules so that you can get an idea of things you need to think about.

HUGS~~~MANDY


Always The Bitch


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
8/10/2005 10:30 am

these rules are really a great addition to your blog and it would be great in A F F could put them in an FAQ somewhere ... rules are essential -- obviously you have to make them up together, and whatever it takes to keep BOTH of you happy! my husband broke a rule with one person THREE times and then i realised the temptation was too much and i insisted he terminate that relationship. fortunately he agreed that this other person was just too deceitful and he too blind to handle a relationship like that!



[blog freelove999]


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/10/2005 11:17 am

Well done well thought out. Very simular to our plan of attack.


eternal1969 47M
1634 posts
8/10/2005 11:40 am

I thought is was an excellent write-up.

This is especially since threesomes are partly exciting because it stretches the borders of how far couples are prepared to test the strength of their relationships. Like all extreme sports, rules of engagement are essential to avoid a really bad fall


goddessofbitches 41M/33F

8/10/2005 2:29 pm

Freelove--- Yes...it is important...and I thought that by making sure this was in my blog...I could help others see that there is more to a threesome than just finding someone to sleep with.

Philosophy--- Thank you so much. I am glad you DO have a plan of attack.

Eternal--- Thanks for the compliment. I was hoping it would benefit poeple....I hope it helps them.

Jezebelle--- It never works for me, that is why I never use anything special for my blog.

HUGS~~~MANDY

Always The Bitch


lenore00 33F

8/10/2005 5:27 pm

Hmmm... I seem to remember a certain conversation that those rules might of came from hahahha..
Just remember when Im famous and you need therapy, back in the day on A F F ...

just kidding babe...

luv ya
~amber


goddessofbitches 41M/33F

8/10/2005 9:01 pm

Amber...

I need Therepy NOW!!! LOL.....

HUGS~~~MANDY

Always The Bitch


lenore00 33F

8/10/2005 11:19 pm

Yeah but between your husband and my mother we cant ever have a fuckin conversation..

I'll just come move in with you.. that way your husband will stop bitching and I wont have to hear my mom.. yay!!!!!

~amber


lifeisablast333 54M

8/11/2005 1:29 am

fully agree...and you tell it like it is


Bellefourchelove 62M

8/11/2005 10:39 am

Honesty is essential in any relationship and so many people lose by being dishonest. I do applaud everyone who constantly pushes the borders of the envelope of sexual repression that oppresses this culture, specifically those who do so openly and honestly.


goddessofbitches 41M/33F

8/11/2005 3:26 pm

Amber--- Pack your stuff kiddo...and as long as you don't mind waking to the bumping noises of my bed, you will have no problems!! LOL

Lifeisablast--- THanks. I try to anyway...

Bellefourchelove--- Well, I applaud them to....the thing is...I just hope they are careful. Relationships are precious and sometimes so meaningfull, that when pushing the limits....it can mess up a good thing. It then leaves the people involved scarred emotionally.

HUGS~~~MANDY

Always The Bitch


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