|Blogs > girltech47 > Sensuality..Sexuality..Life|
OMG I have made some amazing progress!
A couple of nights ago I was talking with my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/boyfriend on the phone and I sensed something wasn't right, so I asked him about it. He told me that he has realized that he is still in love with his ex-wife. Hmmm, not exactly what I wanted to hear. This lead up to his once again breaking things off with me but in a kinder gentler way. I cried of course, I always cry it seems. This time was different though. I wasn't crying over my heart being ripped out of my chest, I was crying because it just made me sad.
You know, it hit me that he is an all or nothing kind of guy. He still has feelings for his ex-wife, therefore he cannot be involved in a relationship with anyone else. Given the fact there is no way they can ever get back together until his kids are grown and gone, that just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. (His ex-wife and his kids HATE each other and actually no one in his family thinks he should be with her, period...very long story.) Besides, she is seeing someone else. He is just very confused right now.
After talking further about this whole thing, he asked to see me...right then. So we met at the same place as usual, the Doc's Steak House parking lot...around 3am. For the first time he truly opened up to me and explained everything that has been going on with him and why he has acted the way he has. What it all boiled down to was just plain old FEAR. (Something a friend recently helped me to understand.) It was so nice to be able to just talk about it.
SO, we took 5 steps backwards and 1 step forward. We decided to continue seeing each other, but not in an all or nothing kind of way this time. I told him that I did not want to be exclusive anymore and that I wanted the option of seeing others as well. This was not an easy thing for him to hear, but he agreed. Besides, I told him that he could use some feeling jealous over me from time to time to keep everything in perspective. I feel this is the best way for me to keep from being so deeply invested in him for now and a way to protect my heart from being shattered once again.
There was something really awesome that came out of all this. He told me that now he sees how it's possible to have a conversation about something that is uncomfortable without getting all upset or being defensive. This is something he learned from me.
9/10/2005 4:57 pm
I am so glad to read this. I am glad you are working through this and are able to take some measures to protect your own heart. And ain't it something to realize you helped someone else grow a bit?!|
Not all who wander are lost.
9/10/2005 7:39 pm
Way to go! Bravo!|
more on my blog, http://AdultFriendFinder.com/blog/pierd
9/11/2005 3:00 am
Hello...This post is to remind you about the Blogger's Convention scheduled October 21,22,23 and set for the ChicagoLand area(Bolingbrook--a suburb) |
It is a chance for you to meet the folk that you have been reading, commenting, and chatting with. Before we go any further, this is NOT a giant sex orgy but a chance to interact with your new found blogging friends face-to-face.
The opening night festivities are still in the planning stage.(I need to have an actual head count on that before I can proceed and make commitments to the banquet facility. But in the plans are a Masked Ball--expected to be a lavish formal affair)
The 46 Zone Party will be held on the evening of the 22nd at the 46 Zone bar attached to the Ditka Dome(enclosed sports dome facility with an indoor driving range) Typically the bar has a live band on Saturday nights (no cover charge to date) The food and drink costs there are reasonable and one can imbibe for about twenty bucks.
There will be an "after" party on the 21st after the Masked Ball; and a "before" and "after" party on the 22nd in the hospitality suite at the hotel to continue on with the festivities. These parties will have food and alcohol/soft beverages and will be bought in bottle form with appetizer platters from local stores. The bar in the hospitality suite would be a serve yourself type of set-up.
The hotel is new and nicely furnished. Complimentary breakfasts are included with the room; the hotel has a pool, workout facility, complimentary wi-fi service, in-room coffee makers, mini refrigerators, iron & ironing board, and laptrays to support your laptops. There is a complimentary coffee bar located off the lobby area which is available 24 hours for a selection of coffees, teas, and hot chocolate. Hotel rates are reasonable and information can be found at Convention Information Pictures of the hotel and its rooms are also available for you to see.
In the works is a photo session opportunity as well as some classes/demos.
If you have not already done so, you are also invited to join bloggers of this friendly site The group was designed to address the technical aspects of blogging, but has metamorphosized into something much more--a "family" of bloggers...many of who will be attending the upcoming Convention.
Thank you for your time and I hope to meet you in person.
9/23/2005 6:54 pm
I bet you know who this is, or you will very soon.
I signed up for AdultFriendFinder again but only for the sole purpose of being able to post replies to your wonderful posts in this blog. I will say this to everyone else who reads these. There are many people on AdultFriendFinder for many reasons. Some of them post here and some are even real. But I can tell you beyond a doubt that this woman is putting herself out there as clear and as true as anything I have ever seen.
We have had some up's and down's in the brief time we have known each other but I discover more and more everday what a wonderful and amazing woman she really is. I am so lucky to have found her and I hope the best of our past becomes the worst of our future.
Keep it up GirlTech, you are batting a thousand with me.