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Visitors instructions:Click the Watch this blog at the top right of this screen!
| Health Warning! Blog Danger! Read at your own pearl! |
 Join the Amazing JourneyThese are my stories of erotica.The sex side of the male human brain, mine anyway! They are here for you and your pleasure, and your comments are welcome! Some ones are true, some enhanced, some from experience, some cum with a health warning!
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| Welcome! to the dungeons of desire, pleasure and lust! |
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Valentine gone all teckie
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Feb 11, 2012 6:31 am
1279 Views
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Did you know that the bones of St. Valentine are on view in a Dublin Church?
Well it used to be that you sent anonymous cards to potential lovers but today it's much more complex and costly, but the tradition is still quite nice and quaint - although, nowadays we are suspicious of unsolicited males (and females...lol).
And now that we have gone all IT and Teckie with computers on our mobile phones, instead of asking St. Valentine for advice we need to turn to our IT Support Team.
For those of you who cannot read the text in the image above - here it is repeated - just in case anyone needs advice - and this year it is extra dangerous for all single men cause 15 days after St. Valentine's day is the 29th of February and we all know what that means.... lol!
******** Valentine Support for Desperate Housewife *************
Dear IT Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, GAA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate Housewife
******************************************************
Dear Desperate Housewife,
First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Kebab 6.1. Late Night Kebab 6.1 is a very bad program that will create FartingLoudly.wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongue Kisses 6.9.
Signed, IT Support Manager
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15
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Spring
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Feb 11, 2012 5:51 am
1253 Views
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Spring and Cleaning are like Jackel and Hyne or Thelma and Louise (or whatever takes your fancy), they go well together, but when things get out of control and the vacuum cleaner don't work, and the duster has more dust then the undusted spots.... sometimes I think I'm fighting a loosing battle!
Well been a busy few weeks doing things like this and that and others, but just had to assign myself some time to take off the maids outfit and to drop in to see how everyone is doing - well I hope!
Now, time management was never my strong point, I tend to under estimate the time it takes to do something. Sometimes that is good and other times that causes over run - many times I wish there were eight days a week along with two weeks (now that would be great).
I used to feel guilty at my hoarding, but am watching a few programs on "picking" and confess that I am not as bad as some peole who have barns full of stuff.... I think it's time to get a skip (dumpster) and put my will power to the test.
Anyway, I have so much catching up to do.... have to cut the carpet and vacuum the lawn (or was that the other way around) - house, beware, there is a mad man on the loose.... have a great weekend.
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9
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Well you would - would you not?
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Jan 19, 2012 4:57 pm
1428 Views
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The "Fasten Seatbelts" light flickered and the last passengers took their seats. I wondered who would take seat 34D, that's beside 34F on this plane, and me. She took the seat beside me and introduced herself, we stated chatting. I thought, "I have a talker" to myself, but that proved unfair, her voice and company was pleasant and interesting and I barely noted "pushback and start" or even when we entered the air.
The lights were dimmed, the movie showing, the cabin silent except for the occasional passing crew member checking if we had drinks of coffee and was "everything ok?". Then my travelling partner said something that caught me completely off my guard "That air hostess likes you!" - and in response to my puzzled look she explained that she smiled every time she passed this way - and "would you?" was her next question.
Well I had never really given the matter any thought, I was just on a flight from A to B but as I thought about her - her warm smile, her friendly face, her uniform, skirt and stocking, I found myself wondering and nodding in response. Suppose that is how the conversation changed from politics, flying, the news and elections, good places to eat and visit... "and do you think" she added " that what they say is true?" - and responding to my puzzled "What?" - "U-no, an orgasm at thirty five thousand feet is more intense owing to the lower air pressure..." (Now am tempted to ask you readers if you ever considered this fact, the pressure release at orgasm time, for man and woman, is based on ground athmospherics so in areas of less pressure would the orgasm be more intense? - which begs me to ask the question "Do they have better sex in the Andes and Himalayas or roaming the High Plains?").
And I suppose that was why, in the sake of science, we decided that we would have to experiment to find an answer to that question as neither of us were in the mile high club (what about you my reader?).
I could go on to describe how we pulled the in-flight blanket up a little higher, how I slipped my hand down her panties, how I moved my fingers and how she reacted - but that would be a blog on sex and not scientific.
I could explain how it became impossible so we adjourned to the in-flight restroom and how it was in the confined space, and how it wasn't but - I think it's fair to say that the theory could have been tested many times that flight - for, not alone were we the couple in the restroom, but there was many a couple after us.
Well would you, wouldn't you?
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9
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Decisions, decisions, decisions.... he asks!
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Jan 18, 2012 4:49 pm
1408 Views
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[
By dawn on New Year's morning, I had broken every NewYear resolution.
Sometimes we just drift along, others we let things slide,
but life is filled with smoothness,
little steps and bigger ones and
occasional gaint leaps of faith.
Sometimes we let things build by inactivity until,
the pressure and force for change
prevents those little steps that we can reverse
and forces us into change.
These we often refer to as Crossraods in life's path for once a leap of faith is taken, there is no going back.Really I am referring to things like moving house, or changing job, or city or state, or getting married or seperating.
But in smaller ways too, we allow ourselves to drift, not that drifting is a bad thing, drifting in the Gulf while basking in the warm sun for example, and so I find that I am heading for a Cross Roads in my life. Not just one but more like a spaghetti junction of decisions lie ahead.
I look at the empty space in my bed and wonder will it ever be filled again, and of so at what price and is it something I'm prepared to pay. I am, of course, referring to emotional committment and not to dollar signs or Euros - just something I was musing when I thought about what the future might have in store for me and how a number of different steps could change everything and how I might juggle everything, job, children and committments and stuff in a brave new world that can only be reached by careful consideration and a blind leap of faith.
I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes - (Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes - Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes - Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me - But I can't trace time.
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same....
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through
...
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me - But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me - But I can't trace time.
David Bowie - Changes
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5
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Lost and looking to be found
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Jan 5, 2012 10:48 am
1589 Views
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Have I lost my blogging touch, on what it means to write erotica, or is it just a passing phase, one from which I will awaken, driven by the inspiration that pounds restlessly in my head and between my legs?
Rising into Hades, the underworld, digging deeper into my brain, the desire to seek the pleasures of the flesh remain, but are restrained.
The constant battle between reality and indifference reign unabated. Is it best not to seek and remain restrained or.... to seek and risk disappointment?
Where can I find the words to express the complexities inside my head? There are none, but gazing into my eyes and beyond, into the neuro transmitters in my brain, one can watch as fleeting images flicker in my head.
I have a story in my head, been coming through in waves, in sleepness and in wakening, in my minds eye, maybe some day it will be committed to paper! Til then where to next?
The scent, the touch, the taste of woman, the naked flesh, each part visited.
The curve, the shape, the orgasm or the anticipation?
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so lets have a smile for an old engine driver...
.... The Who
And did I hear you say?
I missed you and I must admit,
I kissed a few and once did sit
On Ivor the Engine Driver's lap
And later with him, had a nap.
.... The Who |
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5
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sometimes a picture
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Dec 31, 2011 2:03 pm
1679 Views
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Sometimes a picture says a thousand words, and sometimes words are not enough - but no amount of wishful thinking can express the wish I hold for all my readers in the year ahead.
may 2012 be the best one yet!
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12
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Ding-Dong
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Dec 31, 2011 6:41 am
1581 Views
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Ding-Dong, Ding-Dong....
Yesterday, today was tomorrow
And tomorrow, today will be yesterday
So ring out the old
Ring in the new
Ring out the old
Ring in the new
Ring out the false
Ring in the true
Ring out the old
Ring in the new
Ding-dong, ding-dong
Ding-dong, ding-dong
Ding-dong, ding-dong
Ding-dong, ding-dong
(George Harrison - New Year's Song 1974) |
The great thing about Christmas and New Year's day being on a Sunday is all the days off in between and afterwards.
Well that was grand until Wednesday morning when I found myself pressing the snooze button once too often. But, by now, I gotten to like it and can lie in bed and hum along to the tune the alarm plays... how utterly annoying! And now that the short working week is over I think it must be time for another Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster (or diet cola).
Taken from the annals of The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy ( thank you Douglas Adams).
Anyway, whatever you have been or are doing, hope it's something wonderful and don't drink too many Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, stay safe, and hope you're not seeing little green men in the morning! |
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4
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Christmas 2011 - let it be the best ever for you!
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Dec 24, 2011 10:06 am
1687 Views
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In Ireland Christmas day is like Thanksgiving, for spending time with family, and eating and drinking and enjoying company and then watching rerun of classic movies on TV.
All the shops are closed, and some for a few days afterwards, so in the run up it's important to make sure that one has adequate supplies of everything... hence the importance of the Christmas lists... essential food items, non essential food items, drinks and gifts..... so by the time that Christmas Eve comes around you tend to be surrounded by pieces of paper with lots of ticks on them....
So whether you ready or not suddenly becomes immaterial and it's time to relax and enjoy yourself, enjoy your company and laugh at the silly jokes that one finds in even the best Christmas Crackers.
So whatever you do have a great one everyone and not too much kissing under the mistletoe!
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8
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Christmas lists and a mystery
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Dec 24, 2011 10:05 am
1578 Views
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So there are still a few mysteries and curiousities left in life....
Some that require thought processes and others that defy belief....
So, while I appreciate that there is nothing that Mr. Santa Claus can do about the toilet rolls, I have included on my list, condoms for toothbrushes and gags for biros.....lol - now I wonder what's on your list. |
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4
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I think I need a bigger ticker
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Dec 21, 2011 1:52 pm
1729 Views
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Christmas 2011 Wishlist
Santa - Sleigh
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Reindeer all the way!
I think I need a bigger ticker cause...
....every time I tick an item off my list the list grows bigger.
Christmas 2011 ToDo List
1. Turkey,
2. Ham,
3. Prawn,
4. Pate,
5. Crackers,
6. Batteries,
....
..
....
998, Shampoo,
999, Toilet Paper,
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I found a little bottle that said "drink me" but now the list is so large I can't see the beginning.
But, as every good actor and actress knows, "It Will Be Alright on the Night" fever is taking over (must have been the contents of the bottle I suppose). So, list or no list, does it matter?
Just have a Wonderful Christmas if that's what you celebrate and a Wonderful Holiday if not.
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P.S. I've asked Santa for a French Maid to help me out on Christmas Day ...
... so watch out if you are on Santa's naughty list, but if I don't get a French Maid... well no worries... I'll just have to buy the outfit instead!
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P.P.S If I can't have something in stocking, I'll have something in tights instead please Santa!
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8
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Dancing in the dark
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Dec 20, 2011 6:11 pm
1620 Views
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And so the DJ slowed things down with a smoochy number spinning on the decks...
The lights went low and the masses separated and joined up again in couples locked in an embrace that seemed to squeeze the breath out of them. Some whispered in their partner's ear while others placed their lips together. Some ran their hands up their girls backs while some just grabbed their partners buttocks to the could feel their bodies touch against each other, and, when the DJ announced Ladies Choice, she took that moment to approach the guy she'd chosen and had eyed all night long.
Dancing in the dark was not enough, she approached her chosen partner, her eyes focused, her body tense with anticipation of the events she had orchestrated in her head. This was to be her moment, as she took him to the dance floor to introduce him to the pleasures of her flesh.
They embraced as they followed the crowd until they reached the exit to the smoking area, then slipping outside into the humid night, she knew where she was taking him.
Out of sight and far from the pulsing dance floor, she brought her lips up to his and tasted the combination of his breath and alcohol. Was it gin or vodka, it made little difference, his kiss was sweet upon her lips, she ground her body into him, feeling him hard against her pubic bone, she knew she had made the right decision, she wanted him.
He pushed her hard against the wall, she felt his body push into hers, panting hard, she undid his shirt while he undid her top and slipped her breasts from the cups of her black lace bra, cradling them in his hands, she felt the strength of his touch, her wanting increasing, if that was possible, but her panties getting wet from the grinding on her crotch.
Running her hand down his chest, she undid his jeans and slipped her hand inside, she threw back her head and, as her breasts arose, she felt his breath upon her nipples before feeling the wetness of his tongue, as it touched and teased them. She gasped as she felt the hardness between his legs, or was it when he took her nipple into his mouth, but the gasp changes to a sharp intake of breath and he sucked hard and then nibbled or her hard, now erect, nipple. As she pulled up her skirt and guided his hard tip towards her panties, pushing it against her clit through the material, he took her other breast and nipple and played with it.
Lost in the pleasure and the tension and the delicate balance between pain and erotica, she slipped her panties down far enough, ran her finger across his eye, to feel the precum before guiding his tip into her. She felt his hands upon her buttocks and then upon her thighs, she felt his tongue part her lips and tasted his breath again, her body taut, her senses heightened, she felt him lift her off the ground, and wrap her legs around him, as he sank deeper into her, his cock stretching her open, his pubic bone pushing on her clit, her juices dripping over him.
She felt his thrust deep into her, and with each thrust he seemed to go deeper, She felt his chest upon her breasts, his skin upon her nipples, his fingers now between her legs holding open her lips so that he could thrust against her balanced between the wall and his hot heaving body. Soon it was too much, she wanted it to last forever, but the excitement of his touch, the depth of his penetration was too much and when his body went taut and and shuddered, she held her head back and pushed against him, gasping for breath, tightening every muscle, she came, and as she did so she could feel a warmness running down her walls and bathing his cock which was now pulsating and she felt him ejaculate inside her.
Smiling with relief, laughing from the pleasure, they stood, holding their embrace, still inside her, she could feel a wetness run down her legs, and his as well she was sure, and bathed in their pleasures they shared another kiss their naked chests against each other, their bodies saturated from the sweat of their love making.
Somewhere in the distance the music ended, but would they straighten up their clothes and depart with only the memory, or would they meet again and share the pleasures of the flesh?
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2
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On a night like that...
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Dec 20, 2011 5:18 pm
1745 Views
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Through a looking glasson a night like this...... it was too wild and wet for you to be out, too bad that you got saturated and lost and had to seek help at the castle's gate lodge.But help was offered in the form of a hot cup of something, with herbs or some thing added and a change of clothes and a bed for the night, until the storm had passed.
The room was cold when you entered, small and bare, but with a comfortable looking single bed beside the wall and a small fire burning in the hearth.
Your head spun one way then the other, tiredness or the herbal tea had taken over and you slipped off your damp clothes and into the satin black negligee your hostess had given you. You laid your damp clothes across the chair, hoping for them to be dry by morning, and, as you blew out the candle, you felt the warmness from the fire in the hearth spread around the room.
Slipping into the bed with all the best intentions to sleep, you remained distracted by the events of the evening, mulling them over in your head. You felt a need to drink and slipped your legs from under the covers and sat upright on the side of the bed, but in the pale glow of the firelight you saw someone staring back at you, from a bed you thought was not there.[]color]
The figure looked identical to you, your twin sister it could have been, you reached your hand forward and touched her skin. You ran your hand across her bare skin above the shoulder and, as you did so, you felt something touch your shoulder. You watched, almost in horror, as the strap fell off her shoulder but you continued to watch and look, admiring even, the shape of the woman's exposed breast, the gentle curve, so delicately created, so finely tuned. Unable to resist you ran your fingernail across it's shape, following the curves and lines so delicately.
Still mesmerized, or enchanted, by the beauty, you felt the smooth pale silken skin beneath your fingers, you followed the lines until you reached the dark area around the nipple, then kneeling forward you cupped the breast and took it's nipple in your mouth. You closed your eyes to taste the slightly salty taste of skin. It seemed that you could feel her own breast being touched and sucked as well, or was it your imagination sending signals to your brain - that just as you was doing to her you would like done to yourself as well.[/color
The strap fell off the other shoulder and you ran your fingers to that nipple and rubbed it one way then the other before taking it into your mouth as well. The black negligee fell to the ground and, feeling invited, you ran your fingernail down her cleavage and on past her bellybutton towards where a wet and willing, inviting crotch was waiting. You pulled the figure on the bed nearer you, your breasts touched as you inserted two hard fingers into her, watching the expression on her face, looking to see if your actions gained approval. Your felt a tenseness build in her, she fought to hold the moment, you could feel your fingers wet with the juices of the figure sitting on the edge of the bed in front of you....
Withdrawing your fingers, the body on the bed moved closer, grinding her pubic bone against your stomach, you felt her dampness on your stomach. Your saturated hand moved upwards, touching your own breasts first and then you ran your still wet fingers the across the lips of the figure in front of you... and reaching your tongue forward you tasted the glistening lips, then pushed your tongue between them and your tongues touched together. Locked in an embrace that seemed to squeeze the breath from you, you felt then moment of her orgasm, juices running down your stomach, her crotch stretched and open, her head stretched upwards towards the ceiling, her back arched as she pushed and then released her tension onto you.
The figure on the bed arose and allowed you taste her juices before beckoning you to lie before her, naked on the bed. Kneeling down before you she lifted your legs onto her shoulders, and ran her tongue across your lips, the lips between your legs, and taking your swollen clit into her mouth she sucked hard on it, until it pulsed in anticipation, then she inserted fingers into you, pushing initially and then pumping, all the time in rhythm with her sucking. You arched your back and felt the tension build, you arched again your head thrown backwards, you grabbed your brests and pinched your nipples to keep yourself from being lost in pleasure, but it was no use at all, the pinching heightened the sensation and unable to control yourself, you came, your body pulsating, your stomach taut from straining. A long sigh of pleasure passed from your lips and the slumber you had sought came over you eventually as your body drained slowly of all it's pent up tension.
The watery sunlight slipped through the window, she glanced over at the bed beside her, maybe embarrassed by the events of the night before, but all that she could see was her own reflection in the full length mirror that lined the wall beside her bed. She laughed or rather chuckled a little, it must have been just an erotic dream she thought, how silly she felt for fearing what had happened the night before. She hurried to get dressed, it was time she was on her way, she straightened the covers on the bed, made the place tidy and went to pick up the black negligee from the floor in front of the mirror where it lay, but as she picked it up she noticed there were two of them.... puzzled, her hand reached towards the mirror, touching it gently, her memory of the night before came clearer into her head.
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Looking in a mirror may be dangerous, but sometimes we must look to find ourselves.
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Looking in a mirror may then be inviting, but need we be weary of what we find through the looking glass?
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Sometimes it's necessary to go to the other side to explore and find ourselves!
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To link to this blog (gerk321cum) use [blog gerk321cum] in your messages.
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