|Blogs > georgina666 > i am one, only but one|
my secret garden
my secret garden
by: Bruce Springsteen
She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hides
She'll let you in her car
To go drivin' round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down
She'll let you in her heart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice
You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget
She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away
Copyright © Bruce Springsteen
i came back after my weekend escapade just enough to have sunday free to rejuvenate and refresh my tired self. it was a terrible runaway from the city...made a huge mistake by not planning for the trip much earlier when i already knew indefinitely that i have to make the trip yesterday. no wonder it is so true that failing to plan is planning to fail.
last week, it was hectic for me and i foresee the following week will be equally hectic, if not more. well, it's almost a once in a lifetime event, might as prepare myself and brace for come what may. not, i am not getting married...when i was much younger, i used to think that marriage is for eternity and only occurs once in a lifetime. i dreamt of a designer wedding gown that is for me to keep when the wedding ceremony is over so that it'll always be there to remind me of the happiest day in my life whenever i open the door of my closet.
i hoped for a wedding ring that is so unique and lovely that it'll fit my finger and never slip off. i fantasized of a great sex life by engaging in open communication with my soulmate. i wished for a memorable and warm garden wedding with my favourite songs being played in the background to fine tune my mood. well, bruce springsteen's "secret garden" is one of the songs that i'd like to hear on my wedding day...
i guess those are just my wishful thinking, another favourite mind game of mine. you know, there are days when loneliness devours you alive in the dark, that you really harbour no more hope to meet the so-called "the one". the one that'll complete you, the one that'll love you, the one that'll appreciate you, the one that'll cherish you.
i like "secret garden" with the dialogues of "jerry maguire" inserted in between the song lyrics. that version is simply marvellous and not to mention will never fail to drive me into my melancholic state. "secret garden" is simply so wonderfully written and so real because i think i have a secret garden waiting to be explored too.
i suppose deep down, i do have a great personality. God is fair to me thus far, at least i was not born handicapped but perhaps He went overboard with the X-factor hormones that had somewhat resulted in a battlefield of acnes and pimples, blackheads and whiteheads on the most visible and important part of my body-my FACE.
some people find my personality intriguing, but not good enough to intrigue then further. some people find my personality intimidating, but not furious enough to intimidate them further. i am not a white elephant, but perhaps that antique vase which looked nice in the old junk store that you'll never ever thought of forking out a single cent to acquire that vase. yes, some things are meant to be just nice, not pretty but it'll never attract you further.
i am a little tired with the rat race which i am currently in now. it just does not feel like i am racing with the other rats, but racing with cheetahs rather. not too long ago, i thought i'll be contented with my singlehood, why settle for someone less just for the sake of hooking up with someone i thought? it's like trying to fit into a pair of shoes or clothes 2 sizes smaller than your size (fine, i admit i thought of grabbing a pair of mules which were 2 sizes smaller than my feet because i thought they looked pretty and that with pants covering my heels, no one can see the visibly smaller pair of shoes...but i did not buy them in the end because it was the last pair. besides, what geuninely do not fit well will only cause more pain)
with that mentality, i set out to focus on my career instead. but to earn a living is really hard these days. everything is getting more and more expensive but our paycheque remained that big...there are days that i really felt like exploding because of the stress and there was no one to turn to. surely, at the mention of the word "despressed" (desperate + depressed = despressed), i am sure many would offer to soothe and comfort me. but i guess my addiction to depression is getting out of control that i need someone to help me out more than only to soothe and comfort me. apart from soothing and comforting, i need more! by saying more, i don't imply sex either.
you see, the worse is to be taken advantage of when you're vulnerable and depressed that should intercourse takes place, it's more like lust or mental .
darn...i am not making sense so this entry is non-sense. just when i thought i have regained my normal state by posting regular entries, i sensed that the flow and trend of my postings to be somewhat melancholic again. oh well, another "spermicide" courtesy of sweet poison georgina to drive men away? now is this what we call "what goes around comes around"?
8/7/2005 1:28 am
Hmmm your weekend escapade was rather short isn't ? You really ought to take it slow and stretch it slighter longer if the intention is to get some release from the race. Thats what I would do.|
No offence Georg but you do really sound like you need some sex