how many holes are there?  

georgina666 36F
421 posts
11/15/2005 3:13 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

how many holes are there?

i almost dozed off at work since there was not much work to do but pride and dignity prevented me from sleeping at work while drooling. that'll only give my boss more reasons to think that i am in dire need of some therapy.

coming back to reality after my flopped fertile period (read: menstruation) i am still groggy and sluggish. in fact, it felt so weird to be back to normal without the troublesome bread and jam days. i had planned to go BKK before the end of this year as a holiday treat for myself. with a limited budget and escalating airfare, the plan had to be shelved. i was quite dejected and upset simply because on one hand, i'd rather save up on airfare for my shopping spree but on the other hand, it seemed so petty of me to want to hunt for the cheapest airfare around.

mind you, the price between our national carier and the no frills one is almost double, for that amount of saving, i could have flown to BKK once again next year actually. the plan was pushed aside and all of a sudden, i am left with nothing to look forward to. even the thought of spending Christmas in Singapore does not seem to be able to cheer me up much. i suppose along the way of temporarily discarding my BKK, i had inadvertently caused another person to feel slightly miserable as well. well, so much for being the finance person that could guard her lair of corporate wealth but not upkeep her trinket of personal emotion.

while i lay my thoughts about the uncertainty of the next few months, whether or not i'd be able to spend some quality time with myself, i grew more depressed by the day that soon enough, PMS would not be a valid reason anymore or available punchbag since i have hoisted red flag and it's now over...all clear.

work is as good as it gets though i don't see myself achieving greater success. but so far, i am familiar with the workflow and have earned some reputation among my counterparts. not a bad thing for someone like me since it's a matter of time before anyone realize that they should not mess with me with respect to work that is. all else i am a warm person who is easy to mix with, really, you have to trust me

i saw my mother's friend today after work and she complimented that i looked nice...hmm, i was contemplating whether or not to accept the compliment but told her shyly that i need to dress up a little for work, lest i am mistaken for the janitor. my janitors are praising my thrifty ways by eating bread during lunch time, hence saving up on outdoor lunch expenses. yes sure, sounds good but perhaps it was those bread that had caused me to be sluggish the whole day and almost permanently lethargic. all of a sudden, i wondered if i had looked like a sloth trying so hard to reach to the top of the oh my, what strange thoughts run in my mind you might wonder? that's the beauty of being a gemini i'd say, if you can say it.

a contact casually asked for my height and weight measurements which i told without any reservation. normally i'd be cautious but i grew tired of being on my toes all the time, so i decided to let my trust flow free to see how far it'd get me. to this day, this person never came back to me, i wonder if my weight terrified the daylights out of him? frankly, i ain't that big and i don't need two big macs for each meal to keep my bottomless pit stomach somewhat filled for a while...

i am not upset over that since i was always ready for men who come just to touch and go quicker than i can say the word "quick". it's in fact reality check because the more you assure yourself that looks don't matter, blah blah, the more you're going to let yourself down when you meet the real mccoy.

i don't seem to whine so much about my wardrobe not because i have recently revamped it, but i am growing used to what i have and making good use by mixing and matching the items. so much for being a female it'd be so much easier to be a man in the day time and lady in the night time. day time to work and build my career, night time to be the demure and soft lady i wish to be. no, this is not a gender crisis because i know who and what i am, it's a matter of trying to have the best of both worlds in one single soul, one single life time.

rm_boredsg25 38M

11/15/2005 7:51 am

ice reading yr story. interesting thoughts

eternal1969 47M
1634 posts
11/16/2005 3:17 am

go on... make that trip to BKK and indulge yourself in seafood, shopping and endless hours of shameless spa treatments

georgina666 36F

11/16/2005 5:25 am

hiya boredsg25,

glad to know that for my blog managed to entertain and interest you, that special someone whose handle screams "i am bored". thanks for the compliment, i hope i can continue to keep you amused, if not bored.

hello there eternal,

i blew my chance and there's no turning back. i am now left to lick my wound as i rub salt onto it by dwelling on it further. ahh, fickled minded and hasty decision caused me more than a chance to spoil myself silly in BKK...oh well, for every stupid mistake i make in life, i lose another opportunity to live one year longer. what the f***!

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