Leave a message post
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Oct 30, 2011 9:19 pm
2994 Views
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I really don't know how to do this leave a message post. But to all those that like the blog, want to know more about the man writing it or just want to send me random gibberish. Also if you like it become a watcher, yeah I want you to watch my giant... Word smithing and huge... Verbiage.
If you want something more send me an email...
Gratitude and well wishes.
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Sex Minx (disclaimer content not appropriate for younger audiences)
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May 21, 2012 11:33 am
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So I have told Sex Minx about said blog, showed the blog and recieved a playful slap across the face. Playful because well Sex Minx applauds my sexuality the desire to ask, commune and otherwise be open with my penile and cranial fortitude. In fact I may be able to lure her into this Adult FriendFinder world.
So to perhaps lure her would there be reasons against a FWB such as Sex Minx not to be on here? I mean there are some amazing people, amazing blogs. I can think that possibly the unwanted attention of horny asiatic men with terrible grammar would be the largest turn off to the site.
Any other negatives ladies and gents? Or you recommend her to just stay away and allow me to continue being the communicative leg of sexual panderings?
With love and slapping sounds- J
P.s.: if your negatives cannot outweigh positives my influence is unjust, but I shall do my best to coax her to read what I wrote before I release it to Adult FriendFinder and the world. (she is alright with me continuing this FY
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Reason for my absences
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May 20, 2012 7:43 am
47 Views
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It has been interesting what has transpired in the past month or so. Let me take you through the list.
#1 working while holding very new residence in a state that I am not working in (it is confusing and it is stressful)
#2 the work I am doing has required bouts of 70 hour work weeks so when I mention I'm busy I'm bushed (which on Adult FriendFinder is a hairy vagina area)
#3 I have a sex minx, a FWB, someone that could care less that I speak and has full attention of her female body on the male anatomy I have
#4 it is hard to blog when you are asleep, much easier when awake
#5 I no longer must masterbate as much
#6 I was on my way to breaking a second toy but then found the minx
#7 Prewriting was a form of blogging for me, now I must go from a dreadful off the cuff style (it's not that bad I hope)
#8 I haven't felt as AFFie as I had in the past, plus you people need to catapult emails to my inbox when you wonder where I tarried off to
Alright I am going to do my best, please forgive me for saying I'm back, then I'm not and then I'm back again. I sound like a certain retired NFL quarterback.
With love and slapping sounds- J
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In a world...
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May 8, 2012 3:34 pm
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Start of any good cheap and stupid action movie with sci-fi is "In a World..."
I find that we may be pushing our luck as a society with junk like this. It is not as awesome as it seems when you get there.
The anticipation builds and you are sucked in wanting your money and effort getting there to be rewarded with entertainment.
Now I ask when did the anticipatory become something we can become more cynical about? I don't remember when I decided to be such a cock about new things that dont harm me just annoy me.
Have you become an asshole to things like beiber? the disney channel? action movies with sylvester stallone? doritos tacos locos from taco bell? main stream media?
Let me know your thoughts, even if they are asshole like.
wth love and slapping sounds- J
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Just the freakin tip
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May 5, 2012 1:53 pm
327 Views
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My apologies blogville. I have been busy. And you might wonder... " how can he be too busy for our fine asses?"
Well I am usually spent mentally at the end of the day and I used to have a fairly common bam bam bam bam bam to my weekly blogging. That meaning at least one per day. Well I am back and with a bit of resolve (the stain cleaner as well, I don't always keep the stuff from hitting the floor).
So the topic of the day "just the tip".
Is a blow job accomplished if just the tip is dealt with? I recently had a situation where a woman had only gotten over the tip and used her hands for the rest of my flesh pole. It was good and I came however I had not had a BJ with that little oral commitment. So it that a pseudo BJ? A blowhange? A penile pleasure suckle with a bit of rub and cup?
Blogville a definition of this sort of oral pleasurement should be written down and placed in the anals of sex.
With love an slapping sounds- J
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I dare you
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Apr 20, 2012 2:54 pm
507 Views
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This is a dare a real dare. I dare you to go back on my blog and post an insightful comment or call BS.
Also I encourage you to do the same to me, because I will insightful comment the shit out of an old posting on your blog.
With love and slapping sounds- J
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Broken toy
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Apr 18, 2012 8:05 pm
620 Views
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I bought my first toy this weekend. It ended in epic fail. Due to my inabilities to post pics. (yes I am handicapped in regards to posting pics, but please realize I make up for it with descriptive sexual content)
LadyTatas has graciously helped with that inability and posted an epic fail. I bought a $20 toy and used lube because it was smaller in diameter than my cock and about half as long. (no problem, I consider) This false sense was due to the package saying its super stretchy. And if you pop on over to her blog you will see that it's not stretchy enough and once I got the tip in it ripped. It ripped not in the direction of the clear mini vagina opening but across the side! Ladies please don't get scared its big but it will not rip a wall out the side of you. (let's hope not)
So my question should I go back to the store I bought this at and get my money back? Or is this a loss? And obviously I'd rather have pussy than a wank shank.
With love and slapping sounds- J
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The louder the better?
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Apr 16, 2012 10:10 am
660 Views
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Is the volume of moan or yell or yodeling during sex an identifier of how good it is? Saturday was the loudest sex I had ever had. I didn't scream or anything, just slapped her ass and grunted. She however (all caps for emphasis) yelled OH HOLY FUCK! I LOVE YOUR FUCKING COCK! This was for at least 15 minutes of alternating phrases. Then came the OH! OH! OH! OH! OOOOOIIIYEEE! Which was the loudest orgasm a woman has ever had with me. (I believe she must have taken a pig calling class).
So is a loud moan, yell, or whoha, an indication or did I just encounter the first woman to not have a volume button?
P.s. refer to my previous post, I am now certain my coworkers know about Saturday night as well as the entire hotel
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Double, no now Triple
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Apr 13, 2012 4:07 pm
713 Views
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Sorry that I have missed a near whole week without saturating your minds with some sort of dirty limerick of my life. Honestly I've been extremely busy.
And in time being busy has meant that I do not pay attention to much. But this week at the numerous places to eat in the area (not in Denver btw) I have been on my game. Maybe it's the water, maybe I'm the guy from out of town? Either way I have foun myself in an interesting predicament.
How many women am I allowed to bring to my hotel room? (not at one time, because the answer is always as many as possible) but the question is more in terms of do I risk getting found out by co-workers that are in the hotel with me that I like to fuck and at that idea quite a bit?
I keep it under wraps in the office. It's best to do so because well its perceived as immature or chovanistic in nature. Older guys and guys with families aren't as high fivey when they realize they don't get to do such things anymore.
So do you think I spread this out? Or let the line form? (there are three dates currently)
With love and slapping sounds - J
P.s. let me know if you would like to visit me 
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Working out
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Apr 9, 2012 8:23 pm
769 Views
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So I recently started working out again. I'm getting toned because I've never seen the need to look like Arnold Swarzenegger. I wear a combo of sport boxer briefs and soccer shorts to work out. It's the best way to keep things from wiggling too much. But I figured I would be alright at the wee hours of 10:30 in a hotel workout room and forego my usual and just stick to boxer briefs and the shorts. Its doesn't sound different but it is.
So I started the bike and just pedaled trying to get my desired 10 miles in. Well the sport boxer briefs do one thing well, they prevent escape. The boxer briefs I had on did not. Why was there an escape? Because the shorts became tight when a mid 40's woman got on the elliptical in front of me causing me to ride faster towards the grand and amazing sunshine that was her undulating round ass. While thinking about that, the thing which you all see as my profile pic decided to grow finding its way down the leg of my boxer briefs and along the seat side while my legs pumped up and down. I slowed my pace but didn't want to stop because we were both facing the mirror. I could clearly see when my right leg went up the last 3 inches of my cock were there in the mirror.
Instead of hiding it I just contined at my summer bike ride in the hamptons pace hoping to catch her finding out that I wanted her to try the bike. It was at a moment that I looked down at my shorts to check how much was visible from each time I pedaled downward. And during that time she must have looked because right after she stepped off her elliptical and grabbed a towel leaving.
Ladies have you ever noticed an erection on a guy that was not while he was naked? And if you were her what would you have done?
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Thickness vs length
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Apr 7, 2012 6:55 am
902 Views
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The age old battle of how a penis should be. If you have seen I can be confident about both (I think).
But ladies it's about how a guy slides in and uses the thing right? The thickness and length can only help if the garage is clear if clutter and ready for a car. (whether it's a suburban or a smart car).
The run down for me: it's thicker than my wrist or just as thick, and I'm certain of its near to but not over 9" length. It's not the perfect size by any means because I've left a possible coital meeting dissapointed due to its largeness.
And yet knowing that about it all there is an odd thing in me that makes me think "you should go see about how big that you can get it", "how much more fun would it be to be the unbelievable 10" length?" (yes I know pipe dreams)
So I've thought and considered that I should go our and buy a temporary enhancement... A pump. Has anyone seen one of these used? Does it affect anything?
Would you be interested in seeing pics of a pumped Garlandj cock?
With love and slapping sounds- J
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All the ladies of the world
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Apr 6, 2012 3:24 pm
849 Views
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I may make it a mental list but I realized that I have come across quite a few women in my time. Dating has taken me from Asian American, African American, Indian, Canadian, Mexican, Venezuelan, Argentinian, Lebanese, Scandinavian and of course white american women. (I'm not claiming to have shtuped all different cultures)
What I am interested in is meeting an attractive woman from each culture in the world. It's like getting an advanced education on the world. (once again there may not be shtuping involved)
Is there a particular culture or race you would ever want to experience via the dating scene? (in this case you may talk about shtuping if you must)
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Wide awake
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Apr 5, 2012 3:41 am
950 Views
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How is it possible for your body to be so very exhausted but the mind to be racing a mile a minute?
My eyes are open at 4:30 in the morning! I am considering using my weak locomotion in my fingers to look at porn and possibly wake the beast up which would help wake the rest of the body.
Well other than my sleep depravity... The question popped in my head: what is the best few words a guy could say to set you on fire?
With love and slapping sounds- J
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To link to this blog (garlandj9) use [blog garlandj9] in your messages.
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