The Morning after....  

fxytrxy77 40M
2 posts
12/29/2005 12:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Morning after....

After meeting for drinks last night (BTW - She was very kewl and we had a very good time (or at least I sure did!).

We discussed several things - kinkiness vs fetishes; the "thrills" of trying different things; meeting new people; the advantages of using a site like this one over "just going out" and trying to meet someone; and "cutting to the chase. (Watch for future blogs - she gave me lots of good material! - Thanx babe!)

But today I wanted to comment on one of the topics that we discussed - the enjoyment of one night stands vs a more long term friendship/relationship.

There is no doubt in my mind that a one night stand can be alot of fun. The constant experience of meeting someone new, the first kiss, undressing one another for the first time, exploring each others bodies and "special talents", even the thrill of being in a different place every night (or each time if you're not into meeting someone new every night ) can be real turn on for some people. It is a way to keep their sex life new and "spiced up" (since variety IS, as they say, the spice of life!). It keeps one from becoming bored with the same-old same-old.

However, it does have its down side. The constant fear of catching some sort of STD, the lack of permanance, and never really getting to know what turns the other person on definate reasons to seek out a longer type of relationship - whether through the life-long permanance of marriage (or civil unions if you are of that persuasion) or just through a regular "friends with benefits" (without the "emotional clutter") sort of situation. As my good friend Jeff says "after 21 years of marriage - I know the combination to my wife's safe...19 to the left...16 to the right...and WHEW!!!!'re welcome, baby!"

Which begs the question - the ability to have children in a stable family environment aside, has marriage lost its meaning in today's society and become simply the solely-accepted means by which to have children? Is this why divorcees (like me) and friends-with-benefits relationships seem to be on the rise?

IS a "friends-with-benefits" relationship the ideal standard in society today?

prnstrs_25 36M/36F

12/29/2005 1:50 pm

it seems that way but i agree with you

rm_aprilb1980 36F

1/4/2006 9:38 pm

If "friends with benefits" is the IDEAL, that's I will be really sad. Granted, fucking (in all sorts of arrangements spoken and unspoken, from one night stands to friends with benefits) is a great pastime, but the IDEAL is fucking amazing sexual chemistry and genuine passion/love. Not too many people ever achieve that ideal, but as someone who has had it once and will someday again when she is ready to look for it, trust me that "friends with benefits", while fun in its own right, pales in comparison. Lovers that live and breathe and die for you and that you feel the same for are far more exciting, no matter if that is sustained for a short time or forever. Heartache is meant to be overcome, not subdued into rendering a society of scared people having permanent "friends with benefits" relationships that last forever ("friends with benefits" is meant to be temporary or at the very least, supplementary). I promise.

Become a member to create a blog