funintheday2006 56M
8366 posts
7/22/2006 1:16 am

Last Read:
8/13/2006 3:18 am


The time has come, my little girl is leaving for Australia on Friday for a year and I'm gonna miss her like shit.

For those of you who dont know about this I am reposting just because I can and because she is my little girl!


Sweetness comes in many forms and I’ve just experienced a wonderful show of genuine warmth.

Not being used to this kind of thing, especially at work, I am somewhat nonplussed and I feel real good about myself, cannot even explain the feeling. ( Is this really me, lost for words?)

It all started about 2 years ago when the lady in charge of the office told me she was employing an 18 year old. My reaction? Bloody teenagers, workshy, knowitalls and illiterate to boot. You will have recognised by now that I am a fair and reasonable person not given to generalising. (?)

Anyhoooo, the teen devil arrived in the office, on time and with a wide smile. Oh well, I’ll make an effort and welcome her, I thought.
Little did I know how this very short bundle of energy was to change the face of the administrative side of the business.
Cutting a long story short ( now, that’s really not like me, is it?) within a couple of months she could do everyone else’s work just as well as she did her own and was always the first to volunteer for extra duties. She also changed my office to reflect the Fueng Shui aspects of life and installed many strange hanging things and plants around the place.
All very strange but, I try not to interfere!
It has to be said that my somewhat direct and sarcastic humour tends to intimidate the quieter members of the establishment and so I have to think before speaking, not easy I can assure you.
I have a brain and a mouth gear and the 2 rarely, if ever, are synchronised.
This young lady was different, she was a match for the caustic comments and could fire back the bullets with relish and enjoyment. The relationship was set, we fenced and thrusted the barbs frequently, and, I have to admit, I loved being challenged in this way.

She is a bit of a tomboy and a few months ago expressed a desire to visit the land down under for a years work before deciding on her future.
Now, when I was her age, I would have given the Earth to be given such an opportunity so knowing her character and the fact that it would help develop her as a person I offered to give her a years leave of absence and to sponsor her.
In true style this was greeted with “If you want rid, just sack me!”
I retorted that it would give me much more pleasure to sack her when she returned and had no money or prospects as there would be no employment in this country for either sheep shearers or arachnophobic dwarfs.

Anyway, she is set to go at the end of July and has just finalised all the requirements re visa, place to live etc. and is somewhat excited and excitable. She has turned the office into an 8 week leaving party!
Then, as I was delivering a morning briefing ( this consists of me leaning on a filing cabinet dishing out orders whilst everyone else stands around looking bored and disinterested), in front of them all, including a number of the neanderthals from the yard she threw her arms around my neck and thanked me prior to slapping a big wet kiss on my lips. This is not good protocol, nor does it do anything for my street cred.
Was sweet though, I liked it! Bless.
It’s the little things that make life great isn’t it?
Now there’s another sign on my door “ Bollockings given freely, Kisses have to be taken”

At least I’ll be shot of her for a year. God, I pity the poor man that she forces into marriage.

Just conducted and completed an interview in less than 3 minutes.

This is how it went:
Prospective employee walks in, dirty hands, torn jeans and shuffling at 3 yards per hour.
I was impressed.
Forgave the jeans and shuffling, could not get past the dirty hands.

Intros done I explain position and ask for questions.
How many days holiday do I get? He ventured.
None says I, we work every day.
What even public holidays?
Yes, says I, especially Christmas day, we get all the business because nobody else works.
Is it double time?
Oh, no I say, as it’s not a normal working day for everyone else we don’t pay anything.
I don’t think it’s my kind of job he says.
Oh, I am sorry, I smiled as I show him the door.
Life can be fun can’t it!!

Speaking of female staff ( were we?), once again I have been seduced by female logic and relentless pressure.

Our offices are on the first floor and many occasions during the day the girls have to walk all the way downstairs (??) for various things.

It was suggested that perhaps it would be a good idea if, during summer months, we placed a couple of desks outside the building complete with ‘puters and phones to stop them wearing out the heels on their shoes.
This would have the additional benefit of allowing a degree of sunbathing and alleviate the necessity to take long lunch hours on the beach ( 5 mins walk from office).
Now, the logistics of moving furniture around daily, purchasing a retractable gazebo or similar, ensuring wiring was in place etc. etc. made this a totally unworkable scenario. In addition the outside area is not quite level and it would be a nightmare to set up properly.
Not to mention the British weather.
Or so I thought.
I am informed that the working party, that I cannot remember setting up (?!), which consists of the people proposing the idea (glad to see it’s objective then), has found a solution.
A retractable blind will be installed (will it?) and computer stations with wheels will be bought (will they?) to make things easier. The other major problems have been solved too. Laptops will be purchased (will they?) and cabling for the network and phones extended to a junction box outside the door.
Well, that’s that then!
Bet you can guess which gender has built this ingenious plan.

They have already provisionally sold 3 of my ‘puters, got quotes for the awning and obtained pricing for suitable laptops. Naturally ( yea, I look that dumb?) a benefit for me is that laptops will allow them to take work home with them!!

What is really sick is that I’m starting to go along with this ridiculous and crazy idea, it makes no sense at all. So why is the man coming today with nice pictures of desks with wheels on?
What is wrong with me???

What, you’ve had enough?

rm_Benkai7 55M
2358 posts
7/22/2006 2:10 am

Dear "funintheday2006".

May sound strange ... it愀 on you, to keep her by internet (for example) still nearby ... 愜uess too, you扉e got the clou by leaving the old well known paths can bring up better and more logic, more effective "horsepower" and more effective demands too ... even wonderful solutions ... it愀 always good to experience that the teacher, the master is still learning too ...

Wish you and her good luck and all the best ... may your spirit still be open and her`s never be corrupted ...

Benkai7 - just a poor Ronin marching by

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 2:12 am:
Thanks benk, I have ensured she has a phone contract that will aloow her to contact me and send emails etc.
Great girl, the daughter I always wanted, never had.

IAmRubytuesday 55F
3193 posts
7/22/2006 2:24 am

Can i come and work for you please? I can be the person who wheels the desks around. x

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:06 pm:
Employ yet another woman??? Yea right

frangipanigal 45F
10406 posts
7/22/2006 4:33 am

Tell her to pack warm clothes..bloody cold here right now!!

As for your office, it's pretty obvious which gender is wearing the pants there..hehe!!

Frangi x

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:08 pm:
I have been aware for some time of the sliding of power here, they wont let me do anything about it though
I'm so sorry yur having the Aus week of cold. COLD??? That is NOT cold, trust me

rm_mmmgoodnova 106M/106F
1259 posts
7/22/2006 7:39 am

That's really admirable, and touching. In my experience, my relatively few male bosses have always been much better mentors to me, much more supportive. One, in particular, gave me a 6-week PAID sabbatical from work so I could do part of my master's in the UK, in addition to signing off on all tuition for half of my bachelor's and all of my master's degree in the first place. I probably wouldn't have gotten through school without that support--not just the financial part, but the encouragement. He then happily encouraged me to leave his employ with my new credentials in hand to pursue my "dream career."

And, before you get ideas about his motives--he's gay. He just said he saw something in me and wanted me to succeed and follow my dreams. Wish there were more people out there like that...but I hope to do something similar for young people.

Now...working outside...that I would like, too. The feng shui must have worked on you...LOL.

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:11 pm:
Some people are worth making the effort for, she cetainly is, even when things get tough for her, she has the strength to cope. She is a hard bastard too, thats why I like her so much, takes no shit from anyone
Im not sure how they got to the stage of manipulating me, but they did!!

catkit13 66F

7/22/2006 9:07 am

does your crowd make housecalls? my patio and backyard could use some new ideas and sprucing up - can they work wonders with desert landscapes, cacti and such?

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:12 pm:
They only work on making me suffer, inside or out, makes no difference, I suffer, they happy

expatbrit49 62M

7/22/2006 9:59 am

A PervLander Productions Is now casting for this new action movie. Choice roles available sign up at One Night

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:12 pm:
Pimping bastard. Ok I'll come

HBowt2 59F

7/22/2006 1:04 pm

you can't live with us and you cant live without us......and no....not had enough amuse me.....and that ain't easy...

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:13 pm:
Listen, I make me laugh Mind you, I have a mirror to help

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
7/22/2006 1:06 pm

You sound like a great boss. Please see my resume by private post. I will need one of those outside work spaces, and my salary requirements are modest - 150,000 pounds per annum should keep me in the style I'm accustomed to, plus living allowance of course, since London is so pricey. That shouldn't be too much, as I'm alone and only require a small 6 room place in Kensington or Knight's Bridge.

Oh, and I really can't work more than 5 hours a day. It's such a bother when I have to spend part of my weekends getting my hair and nails done, so I prefer to be able to do that during the week. And will 10 a.m. be ok to start? Getting up early is just too difficult after closing the clubs.

Please remember to install water closets and refrigerators outside. And get a price on a couple of golf carts. It would make it so much easier to get to and from the beach.

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:25 pm:
Management of PEOPLE (stress, not employees or 'man mangement')skills are easy. Know them and work on the WILLINGNESS of them. Thats it. I am not the boss here, just part of the team, I have different decisions to make is all.
As for your resume, I dont normally employ ex bordello hostesses and your propensity towards short skirts and no underwear could cause some of the drivers to collide in my large and expensive vehicles.
However, I have balanced that with your obvious willingness to work long hours for low pay and the fact you can drive the golf cart yorself. In fact, your preferences for area to live in means a 50 minute commute to work so I would probably allow an 11am start, give or take an hour.
The main duties will revolve around customer service so please let me know what colour/make of telephone you would like and I will arrange it. Your choice of seating will be met and a small bed will be placed next to the desk so you can sleep/sunbathe properly without leaving those awful white lines.
Your apartment servant will be employed before you arrive, please let me know your gender choice for this appointment as you can be confusing on occasion.

VCF1962 105F

7/22/2006 2:25 pm

Great to see a teenager make an impression on someone other than the local constabulary these days !!!

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:26 pm:
She is 20 now, the police would be too undermanned and scared to take her on, trust me

maverick1255 51M
3953 posts
7/22/2006 6:21 pm

Damn, Kelli has so few requests - Fun!!! I think you should hire her right NOW!!! I would think that a change in company work uniforms would be in order! Something like, baby tees only and a nice matching thong!

Yea, send the little one on her way!! We look forward to all the stories when she gets back. OMG, I hope Australia survives!!!!

And what the hell happened at work! Have you been ousted as supreme dictator!!! Call in the troops!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 7:29 pm:
Yo Mav, Keeli is on her way here as I write, but no thong. Oh, I suspect I will be getting a weekly update from her, I've arranged all the contact tools she will need. Considered the sat phone until I saw the $6 a minute call charges, she can talk!!
I AM THE BOSS HERE, when they allow it!!

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
7/22/2006 7:46 pm

As for your resume, I dont normally employ ex bordello hostesses and your propensity towards short skirts and no underwear could cause some of the drivers to collide in my large and expensive vehicles.
However, I have balanced that with your obvious willingness to work long hours for low pay

I beg your pardon! I've never worked in a bordello in my life. I'm an entrepreneur. And I always wear panties, especially in the English climate. How else does a girl keep her ankles warm?

As to the pay, I forgot that many countries use a comma for a decimal point. I wasn't aware that England had adopted that practice. However, if you did not misinterpret my salary request, I shall be able to start August 14.

I don't really care about the color of the phone, as I always let my secretary deal with that kind of thing. Whatever her preference is will be fine with me. I will, of course, need both a personal computer with internet access and a Bloomberg terminal.

If you considered a sat phone, then I suggest you defer all telecommunications decisions until I arrive. Obviously you are not qualified to deal with such complex issues.

Believe me, this will be a hire you'll never forget.

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 8:48 pm:
My mistake, I thought that motel room you stood outside was classed as a bordello, must be just a Brit thing.
Wow, you can get yor feet THERE??? WOW
Oh the pay is no issue, start the 21st, it will give you a week extra to see the sights and get used to travel in the company lime. Would you prefer the Merc or the Hummer?
Male or female secretary? I know your preferences are subject to alteration on occasion.
Damn, I always wanted someone experienced in telecoms to bankrupt me.

I am looking forward to losing all control in the building the minute you arrive

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
7/22/2006 7:57 pm

All I know is..
Good help is golden when you find them...

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 8:49 pm:
Hi babe, my prob is they look like gold until you scratch the surface then, oh shit, plastic

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
7/22/2006 9:40 pm

Honey, I can do a standing split, standing on either leg ...

The Mercedes, of course. What kind of fucking fool tries to drive a Hummer in London?

Female secretary. I prefer competence.

Bankruptcy? Don't worry, I'll factor your debts and haul your ass out of the fire. Just don't do anything else stupid until I can get there and assess the situation and tell you what to do.

And listen here, mr. commentwhore, where's your comment on MY blog? Hmmmm? Are you afraid it will depress you if you read something truly funny?

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 9:52 pm:
The amount of gear you put between them I'm not surprised what happens to your legs. Bet they havent seen each other for ages.
Erm.. I've driven a Hummer in London, your boss remember, fool???
Secretary has to be male, I prefer brains without neurosis
Oh, I cant fucking wait for that, costing me money in factoring, just what I need
I'm trying to get there, too fucking busy answering your diatribe here and if I want humour I wont be coming to your fucking blog will I???

4biddenlove4us 49F

7/22/2006 9:41 pm

MAYBE I'M too late again, but give her this message as if it was your own :-
Goodbye, my darling foster child,
On to another home!
Open doors remain behind.
Do but turn, and you will find
Bestride your heart, my own.
You may the wind, unwept and wild,
Embrace, but not alone.

I will be thinking of you and I know how you must be truly feeling to watch a loved one leave even if not your own!!
Take care SIR {=}

funintheday2006 replies on 7/22/2006 10:29 pm:
Never know how to reply to your comments, have to go away, think (not easy) and come back.
Hits the spot, centre.

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