Is this real life, or just a fantasy?  

funintheday2006 56M
8366 posts
4/27/2006 9:43 pm

Last Read:
7/1/2006 11:07 pm

Is this real life, or just a fantasy?

Caught in a landslide etc etc, Freddy Mercury hit the nail on the head, didn;t he??!!

Online yesterday with a (possibly) really nice girl, just getting to know a little, check out compatibility, same interests. You know the normal and usual dancing around the ring, both wondering if the other is worth the effort.

I got to thinking, how do I know this is real, I could be talking to a guy, or, frighteningly, a minor.

This is a scary thought (not the guy) and whilst responsible sites like this try to weed out the underage element, some will get through.

How do we deal with that? I certainly do not want erotic chat with a susceptible child, nor do I want the possible legal implications if these "adult" converstaions are found by a parent or whoever on their childs computer and, quite rightly, call the authorities.

I think we sometimes forget that when we are on sites like this we can create a persona of any gender and sexual leanings and promote ourselves to others.
That is a tremendous power and freedom.
We have to be careful we do not abuse that power or freedom by hurting someone who may be vulnerable and also to use that freedom to bring a little comfort to those that have none.

Ther is no harm pretending (a little) to satisfy the needs or wants of someone online. Abuse starts when a person believes that persona you have created, and is lead on to believe the situation will develop to a meeting or something much more intimate.
This can cross the line of fantasy into becoming real cruelty.

So, I suppose the precis of this blog is to be really careful who you talk tom what you say and be precise about what you are willing to do and how far you will go.
Be responsible for the mood and health of those that you contact and be aware of all the impact you may have on a persons life.

Everyone on here is a human being, lets just treat them with the respect and understanding that deserves and warrants.

Have fun

okok268 42M
1 post
4/27/2006 10:31 pm

contact me please
msn: ok268 @

hotandhorny107 58F

4/27/2006 10:43 pm

All very good points and unfortunately there are no guarentees that you are getting what is represented. However, in my experiences here I make it a practice to chat with a prospective partner on the smiley site a few times, then arrange for a face to face if seems to work. I also avoid explicit conversation, keeping things "clean." The one advantage I can claim is that because of my schedule I am on late at night and rarely speak with someone out of my time zone. Of course their location may be bogus, but there are ways to find that out rather quickly. As to the conversations and potential legal ramifications, conversations on yahoo can be saved/archived and heaven forbid it happen, I have a record of the entire conversation. Kind of covers my ass.

As to believing what one writes in a profile, I don't fall for it hook line and sinker. Basically everyone's self perception is different, and it has been my experience again that potential partners do not read my profile completely, since I am quite specific as to what I want, yet continue to get mail from types I am simply not interested in. At this point, I simply do not respond, since I am tired of trying to politely say no thank you, when what I want to say would be rude and unkind. If I remember one thing in my life it would be what my grandmother always said, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all...

BaronessK 52F

8/5/2006 4:43 am

People already know more about me, mentally wise, than they do about their real life acquantances! Physically, those are my pictures, they are definitely me...and, yes, sometimes a bit 'extra' of me is showing [but that is rare, and is always used to make a point}. I have always figured that if I didn't take the time to do something right/well, I shouldn't be doing it. Too many people in too much of a hurry...the human condition, in part!

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