FOR ALL YOU WANKERS OUT THERE  

funintheday2006 56M
8366 posts
8/7/2006 4:54 am

Last Read:
8/9/2006 11:32 pm

FOR ALL YOU WANKERS OUT THERE

You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty
Dollars, Ma'am."

Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land
Masturbators Of Blogland, Give Yourselves A Hand!

It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done
You don't need a special license

You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators of Blogland, Give Yourselves a Hand!

(Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the
ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit where you
jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that
instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker.)

You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion

You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off
Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand.
Masturbators of Blogland, Give Yourself a Hand

YOU GOT ANY GOOD ONES???




IAmRubytuesday 55F
3193 posts
8/7/2006 5:51 am

What - without Jerry Garcia? WTF Dude?

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 8:44 am:
Who is Jerry Garcia

4biddenlove4us 49F

8/7/2006 5:58 am

F___K ME GENTLY!!!!!!!
Now I've seen it all, no comment here
Love you anyway {=}{=}{=}


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 8:45 am:
Best not, it can be dangerous

Cozy_Red 50F

8/7/2006 6:33 am

*giving myself a hand*

Thanks for appreciating us!






funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 8:45 am:
I'm sure I can think of a better use for your hand

BaronessK 52F

8/7/2006 7:24 am

Are you saying that everyone needs to get laid, needs to shutup and get laid, or that everyone including you needs to get laid? Actually, I should quit wasting so much time on cyberworld here...and get a snog and a shag...or something close enough to it that it wouldn't matter!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 8:46 am:
What I'm saying is I NEDD A SNOG. Mind you a life first would be cool.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 8:46 am:
What I'm saying is I NEED A SNOG. Mind you a life first would be cool.

phoenix639 49F

8/7/2006 8:33 am

Lol, love this.

It would be nice for someone to lend me a hand sometime though.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 6:58 pm:
I know the feeling, the tennis wrist band wears a bit thin in December

BaronessK 52F

8/7/2006 9:25 am

From smiley433 An Australian Love Poem

Of course I love ya darling
You're a bloody top notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin there to grab

So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there

No sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I'm tellin ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought u was as good as
I was ever gonna get

No matter wot u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footy's on
And fetch another beer.

Bit of a laugh...although, of course, believe it or not I prefer smaller ditties {poems, ya wanker! ...and the other type, too! } like:

Baroness' Notebook: To all the men I've ever known...some day, like hell, I wish they're grown!

Fuck you, happy; Fuck you, sad.
Fuck you, good; Fuck you, bad.
Fuck you, now; Fuck you, then.
Fuck you, all; Fuck you, again!!!!

And to those of you who are so bad at sex that even a virgin can tell...UNfuck you!
*Wondering if I am in a good mood or a bad mood...ehhhh, WTF, it never really matters, with me! }


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:00 pm:
ROFLMAO
Mood?? Which one of ya, there are seven females there ALL with different moods that change regular

IsThisBetter4u 106M

8/7/2006 11:16 am

I can't believe I quit jerkin' it to read this shit. Dammit, man....now I've gotta start over. Way to go Fun...way to go...


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:01 pm:
Im sure there is help out there somewhere

rm_WackyEPP 53F
8470 posts
8/7/2006 12:00 pm

You're such a wanker!



Wacky Jacky


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:01 pm:
Only on a good day, only on a good one

MaggiesWishes 60F

8/7/2006 12:33 pm

Just the incentive I needed
I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

This was right on time.
baronessk
Absolutely a poem that has a point. You go girly!

warm huggies 2ya, sweet Blogah
now, if ya was a minding ya beezwax at home, I'd not be in this "handy" situation


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:02 pm:
Oh, you see?? Where else could you have a man that is so 'timely'

rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/7/2006 1:03 pm


Giving myself a hand...well, that's not exactly how I do it...but you get the idea.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:03 pm:
Noooo, explain please

Bloody_Quandary 49F

8/7/2006 2:08 pm

ooh can i watch mister? Now dont u be teasin me now. ~smiles~
Woops! Pardon me. Just dropped me fookin flower and whem i's bent down to pick it up me farted again.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:03 pm:
A woman of class, thats what I like

rm_marnisway 85F
5018 posts
8/7/2006 3:10 pm

..you can do it on the dance floor
..you can do it on the floor
..you can do with his eyes closed
..and he'll be beggin ...for more

x

Nothing is ever the same... when it comes to pleasures.

with a hint....the erotic senses will manifest into an abounding mess of flesh

the mind needs fulfillment of the body

if it feels good ...it is good

I've done it again...*S*


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:04 pm:
ROFLMAO

IAmRubytuesday 55F
3193 posts
8/7/2006 3:21 pm

The 'late' Jerry Garcia was the lead singer with the grateful dead and a bloody legend!

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:05 pm:
I know hon, winding you up He was indeed a foot

Animal_73 43M
64 posts
8/7/2006 3:24 pm

Wanker and proud of it!!! Mind you, a nice warm female hand wouldn't go a miss at times LOL.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:05 pm:
The stains would really show on that suit, careful

Notfunanymore 105F
10289 posts
8/7/2006 4:47 pm

    Quoting rm_sexxikritter:

    Giving myself a hand...well, that's not exactly how I do it...but you get the idea.
Ditto!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:06 pm:
Intriduce yourselves, maybe a mutual masturbation night is in order

JuicyBBW1001 54F

8/7/2006 5:21 pm

Glad to see you back to your usual FUN self.

Juicy


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 7:06 pm:
Hi jus Yep, feeling daft

amoldenough 70F
16436 posts
8/7/2006 10:09 pm

Loved the poem. For a Brit, you have quite the sense of humor. ( I have always heard that you people didn't have a sense of humor!!)

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."


funintheday2006 replies on 8/7/2006 10:25 pm:
Who told you that??
Listen, we sent our criminals to a land far away that is sunny, beautiful and exotic. Those that were good stayed here.
How fucking funny is that????

Damn_Dilemma 49F

8/9/2006 1:04 am

    Quoting Bloody_Quandary:
    ooh can i watch mister? Now dont u be teasin me now. ~smiles~
    Woops! Pardon me. Just dropped me fookin flower and whem i's bent down to pick it up me farted again.
LMFAO@ YOU, do you ever give up trying to do a copy cat on me, give it woman and get a better life than chasing me round blogville. You don't know me and I don't care to know you so please stop with your fake attidude. BTW, you won this time round, I won't be blogging while you and your cronies keeping making fake handles to impersonate me, so I'm out till I get my own health and issues in order before I decide to blog. I'm not having you make posts to people I usually respond to just for you to take the mick. YOU have some serious issues. What have I got that you don't have? I'm south african btw, not african or black not that I'm racist just don't like being put in a catogory, get a life tracy_de_lacy and tell your cronies to back off, I'm asking you nicely please, you promised to stay out my face if I stayed out yours, NOW KEEP YOUR WORD silly woman!!!!
Sorry FUN_GOD, I don't mean to be this way on your blog but I won't be blogging for awhile but I will be around because some jealous freaks believe I'm a threat to them in some way and am being cyber stalked so, remember this, I only have the 2 handles you know not the ones that are a copy cat of mine. I'm being attacked on all the blogs that I make comments on by people pretending to me.
Take Sir {=}{=}{=}


Bloody_Quandary 49F

8/9/2006 6:05 pm

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!U tryin to do me head in Mrs? Why u copying me profile? U even holding a fookin flower you copy-cat!! Bugger me - u'll be nickin poems of Nicholas Gorden on the free site next! U being funny lady going on about health issues? u no i cant bend over without cracking one off or shittin meself, glad u think it amusing.

What u got that i dont got? Fook all! I even got more fookin flowers than u.

You say in the same sentence u white S. African and u not racist. ~smiles~ that like saying you a bear but u dont shit in the woods! or the pope and u not catholic. why u not go and write a fookin poem about it? You grammar always better in poems, why that then?

sorry oh sexy fun god ~smiles~ but her pretending to be me when she not and never wuz and it wuz me cousin susan wot did it and not me and she dead now and live in me head with all me other handles but i am an attorney and would never do that and anyway i am always at the clinic because of all me lumps illnesses and everyone is out to get me and i aint done nothing cos i always too busy with NATO and organising jumble sales at the UNITED NATIONS and how am i supposed to know wot me fookin cousin susan is gettin up to om me profile wot she borrowed and someone pass us a fookin comma or a full-stop b4 i fookin faint!

Take care beautiful Sir and dont be fooled by her wot is above us She is not me i am ~smiles~ {=}{=}{=}

Woops! fookin just cracked one off again. This place is going rite down.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/9/2006 9:47 pm:
ROFLMAO

4biddenlove4us 49F

8/9/2006 10:27 pm

    Quoting Bloody_Quandary:
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!U tryin to do me head in Mrs? Why u copying me profile? U even holding a fookin flower you copy-cat!! Bugger me - u'll be nickin poems of Nicholas Gorden on the free site next! U being funny lady going on about health issues? u no i cant bend over without cracking one off or shittin meself, glad u think it amusing.

    What u got that i dont got? Fook all! I even got more fookin flowers than u.

    You say in the same sentence u white S. African and u not racist. ~smiles~ that like saying you a bear but u dont shit in the woods! or the pope and u not catholic. why u not go and write a fookin poem about it? You grammar always better in poems, why that then?

    sorry oh sexy fun god ~smiles~ but her pretending to be me when she not and never wuz and it wuz me cousin susan wot did it and not me and she dead now and live in me head with all me other handles but i am an attorney and would never do that and anyway i am always at the clinic because of all me lumps illnesses and everyone is out to get me and i aint done nothing cos i always too busy with NATO and organising jumble sales at the UNITED NATIONS and how am i supposed to know wot me fookin cousin susan is gettin up to om me profile wot she borrowed and someone pass us a fookin comma or a full-stop b4 i fookin faint!

    Take care beautiful Sir and dont be fooled by her wot is above us She is not me i am ~smiles~ {=}{=}{=}

    Woops! fookin just cracked one off again. This place is going rite down.
BUSTED, I know who you are now, I suspected something but had to be sure, only one person knows some of the things you just mentioned you Psycho!!!!!!!


Bloody_Quandary 49F

8/10/2006 6:13 pm

Oh lovely lady ~smiles~ EVERYONE knows that bears shit in the woods and we shit in us dressing gown it aint no secret. Take care beautiful and be witty and interesting while we are away. woops - there i go again - fookin machine-gunner that one.


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