|Blogs > funintheday2006 > CLITICALLY CHALLENGED|
Dropped a bollock.. oops.
Dropped a bollock.. oops.
Good morning all.
Going to leave the cyber thing till later due to the fact I’ve just read ‘part three’ and senses somewhat jiggled around right now!
So on with my idiotic ramblings that makes so many of you want to send around the men in white coats.
Made a real blunder yesterday. Tongues are wagging.
Goes like this: Spoke to Lurma for a while yesterday and jointly decided ( think it was joint decision, never sure with her, I’m usually out of it on sex rushes when we talk!), that it might be a good idea to have a few additional artefacts around when we meet. So, quick meeting yesterday morning and on the way back to the office stopped to see a friend who, JUST HAPPENS, to manage a wholesale warehouse of adult accessories. First time I’ve ever been into the warehouse and WTF do you ladies do to yourselves!!!! I have never seen nor imagined the vast array of products that assaulted my eyes nor made them water just looking on the racks. And guys, those blow up jobbies are so fucking ugly, why would you???
Anyway, I digress. Purchased a selection of said items ( NO, NO DETAILS) and placed them in boot of car.
Arrived at office and forgot about them… big mistake.
We have a hose pipe ban here and car washing is a real trial and, I do like a clean vehicle so, when one of the guys offered to clean my car late afternoon I accepted with glee and appreciation. You can guess the rest, I don’t even want to go there again!
There have been a few ‘Are you seeing anyone?’, ‘Going out this week?’ ‘Can I borrow your car?’ type questions since and I expect things will get less subtle today!
Had a flashback last night when I got in, grabbed the cheese and crackers from the fridge and pounced upon a decent bottle of Rioja ( Faustino 1, 198. See, you thought I wasn’t refined and now you’re certain of it!
Anyway, I once lived for a short time at a girlfriend’s house whilst I was between countries that would agree to have me and I got to her house one night and there was a small put u up bed next to the fridge. She was a bit intense at times so I approached the subject with some trepidation, casually mentioning that I had noticed it. ‘Its for you’, she stated. ‘Er, why?’ ‘You said you wanted breakfast in bed she said, in this house the only way you’re getting that is if you sleep in the fucking kitchen.’ I WAS JOKING WOMAN, Jesus. As it happened, it was fun later that evening but, that’s another story!
This is the same young lady who, when I asked what her sign was told me ‘do NOT enter.’ Shit, she could be difficult!
And, on the subject of adverts (were we?), as the wine flowed last night I perched myself on the settee, one cat smacking the back of my head and the other insisting on knee room, to indulge myself in the priveledge of watching TV for half an hour. Inadvertently hit the remote to a channel I don’t normally go to and was assaulted by the most ridiculous ad I’ve seen in some time. It was for this passion killing ladies undergarment that, apparently, gets rid of spare inches immediately, pulls in the hanging bits, lifts, firms and shapes the bits that have moved since your teens and, despite the short legs on this ugly bloody thing, tones the old thighs too. Now all that’s ok, hard to believe but, ok, somebody will fall for that crap, what had me pissing myself however was the fucking stick insect that was modelling it!! She had NOTHING to lift, firm, pull in, push out or move in any direction whatsoever. And she was about 12!!! What the shit is all that about?? Do you fall for that ladies? Does it piss you off when you see ‘models’ weighing less than a bar of chocolate extolling the virtues of the latest diet fad?
Had an actress girlfriend once a bit like that. No names but many of you will know of her. I met her at a dinner party some years ago and she was about 27 inches tall and weighed about 18 pounds and, at that time was a ’struggling actress’, a tad older than me. Well, she wasn’t what I would call particularly beautiful but, she did have confidence and eventually landed a part in a TV series as the co star alongside an American guy who was a real prick! He could not travel without a mirror.
Now, on TV, she looked absolutely gorgeous, stunning and had a WOW factor but, at home she lost that, whatever it was. Then she started believing her own publicity, I got cheesed off and bowed out gracefully, I just knew there were other subjects other than discussing her, her, her. Eventually she married co-star and they disappeared into obscurity. The point was this, she did an advert for a large brand of a product that is specifically designed for slimmers. If she had a pea with her dinner she looked pregnant afterwards, her thighs were the size of chopsticks. Don’t you think that advertisers consider the general public as moronic idiots and ads reflect that? Arseholes.
Going out tonight with my 2 operations managers for a drink and food. They are lobbying me regarding the dismissal I did yesterday.
Now, I haven’t got much room for manoeuvre here but, the guy was a good employee until his fall from grace so I’m willing to listen. Cannot see any way back for him personally but, I am proud that the team we have built is strong enough and has the compassion to take time out to consider each other. This is going to be interesting, especially as one of the managers was blamed and named in the disciplinary as the catalyst for the bad behaviour and he is the one most prolific in his lobbying. Says a lot about his character, I think. I’ll probably get pissed tonight then!
What else happened yesterday?
Not too much really, short staffed (my fault, apparently), busy and more of the same today.
Today will be interesting as apart from tonight’s ear bashing I have to do the work of a driver for a few hours due to staff shortages which, I have to repeat, is totally my fault???
Transport manager not overly keen on me in vehicles but has relented and saddled me with the slowest piece of crap I own on the premise that if I don’t manage to get it back it’s no great loss! My cup overflows with the depth of his confidence!
Im going to answer the email from Lurma now and post another blog re: my cyber thingy later.
Have as much fun as me
5/30/2006 9:53 pm
MY pro is off but I can stil read wot u put bout me!|