funintheday2006 56M
8366 posts
8/16/2006 5:36 am

Last Read:
8/19/2006 12:17 am



A few years ago I lived on my boat in the med and had occasion to invite a young lady aboard, who I had known for some time, a FB, if you will.

I had invited her to stay for a few days and offered to take her on my next trip out to another small country in the med.

So a couple of days later I decided that it would be a good idea to cruise through the night in order to see the stars, do the romantic thing etc.etc.

As usual before a cruise I checked everything over and noticed a solenoid was sticking on one of the engines so called the boatyard in to do the repairs.

Pepe, the electrician, informed me there were wires that needed replacing as well as the solenoid and off he went to work.

All sorted, we set off around 8pm and the darkness set in around 10.30 or so. Apart from the lights on the radar and my running lights we were in complete darkness, alone with the tranquillity and sounds of the sea, the stars dazzlingly beautiful and we shared a bottle of wine.

Eventually I left her in the cabin and retreated to the bridge where I dozed for a few hours in sight and sound of the radar and alarms.

Dawn came and went so I started the engines and proceeded with the itinerary.

Said wench surfaced a I was pulling into the destination port at around 8am.

Weather was glorious and I found the perfect visitors berth at the end of the pier.

Tied up and plugged in the mains to recharge batteries as is customary and we had breakfast.

By now the time was around 9.30 and I wanted to pop to the chandlers to get a new compass for the flybridge as the original one was basically, crap.

Bint decides another kip is the order of the day so off I go. No joy at the chandlers and as I walk back I notice a wisp of smoke that appeared to be coming out of a side air vent in my boat. I get on board and empty all the pockets in my shorts as I am anticipating lying on my side gripping a side rail whilst inspecting the vent.

As I came out the salon I noticed more smoke coming from another vent next to the rear bulkhead so the panic alarms started going off in my head.

Just to be on the safe side I grabbed wench from bedroom, wearing just a T shirt and shorts and told her to get onto the pontoon.

I then started inspecting the boat and, to cut a long story short, which is not my habit, saw that there was indeed a fire on board, in the engine compartment.

Told wench to stay still, ran to the marina office and got them to call the fire department and get some hoses down to the pontoon.

This took all of 3 minutes, by the time I got back to my boat it was engulfed in flames, there was no way anyone could get back on board. My only hope was that the fire department would arrive quickly. In the meantime I managed to drag the boat next to mine off its moorings and move it out of harms way.

I swear this is true, there were 2 reporters plus a news camera crew there and there was no sign of either the police or fire department. It transpired that the gates to the marina had been locked and the man with the key had gone for breakfast.True.

Now, as I stated, I lived on the boat and as such every single photograph, certificate, everything tangible part of the memories I ever really valued had just been destroyed. Strangely, the thing I miss most, even now, is the photo of my eldest sister that she had done for me when I left home to get married.

So anyway, there we were, strange country, no passports, money burnt, no docs, no clothes, nothing. It was Saturday.

I borrowed the phone of a boat owner and had to get a friend to drive 6 hours to come into the country and bring some cash so we could eat, stay somewhere and buy clothes. We could not leave with him… no passports and consul open on Monday for emergency passport.

When Monday came everything was sorted and we managed to get away on Tuesday.

There were a number of issues to address, as you can imagine, the one I did not expect was the newspaper report, with photos, that told of the loss of MY WIFE and I. Well, when we got back it was congratulations all round, the place we had visited was famous for English couples going to be married. That hubbub soon settled however apart from the explaining I had to do to my ‘regular’ girlfriend, who was away in Portugal at the time, and saw the news story on the TV.

Moral of the story is:
If the regular wench is away, don’t shag another , burn down your home and get caught on camera. That Chinese bloke said that: Confusion his name was.

I have fun, I do

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
8/16/2006 6:43 am

Those reporters never get the story were just having a a little fun with a friend, she wasn't your wife...

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 6:55 am:
You think I didnt try that one?? The newspaper photo of her crying and me comforting her looked a bit dodgy for that to work and I did not see the TV report, I was working blind Lust mate.
Bang to rights I think the expression is BTW, she was NOT my wife, jeez. I just love that smilie, its my new logo

rm_WackyEPP 52F
8470 posts
8/16/2006 7:30 am

So did your girlfriend hang around for long afterwards, and did you ever see your FB again?

You really do get yourself in some scrapes!


Wacky Jacky

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:39 am:
Erm.... I thought it was time to move on in every direction erm... couple of other people thought it was a good idea too...
I have more 'on the water' stories that are even scarier.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
8/16/2006 7:55 am

What a story! And here I thought it would be fun to live on a boat!!!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:57 am:
It is babe, its the best. Damned Spanish electricians are the problem. Thats my favourite smilie, I'm gonna put it on everything now


8/16/2006 8:12 am

Ya ain't whistlin dixie....

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 8:22 am:
You pinched my smilie He always comes back

rm_Benkai7 55M
2358 posts
8/16/2006 8:15 am

Dear "funintheday2006".

... ...

as always ... expect the unexpected ... no plan is really waterproofed in all possible "directions" ... ... and with enough distance it seems to be "fun"ny ...

just my own experiences ...


funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 8:28 am:
There are times sensei, no matter what you expect, even the unexpected that is expected can arrive unexpectedly before the expectations of the unexpected you expected.
You can see why the Chinese phiolosopher, Confusion renamed himself.

LTsGirl915 34F

8/16/2006 10:06 am

Aww man, talk about busted!!!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:15 pm:
Photographic evidence is pretty conclusive I suppose

tracy_de_lacy 105F
9268 posts
8/16/2006 10:11 am

Great story, I was riveted.

Bye everyone, it was a blast

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:16 pm:
That sounds painful

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
8/16/2006 12:49 pm

I have to confess that I'm a newcomer to your blog and I realise now what I've been missing. I shall learn from your example, sir ...

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:19 pm:
You cant learn anything here other than idiocy.

Smiles1962006 56F
525 posts
8/16/2006 1:31 pm

Too bad they had photos showing you at the wreckage, you could have pretended to have died in the fire and taken on a whole new persona.

Oops, sorry, perhaps you're saving that story line for your blog death??


funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:23 pm:

Look what you made me do, thats not my logo this is

Bloody_Quandary 49F

8/16/2006 2:05 pm

Oh Mister gorgeous and sexy Fun God wot i is in love with i is perplexed that i nearly lost you to a fire. I dont know if you no but i lost me cousin Susan at the bingo down Wigan High Street - what a game of cards that was!!!

get out fire! That is wot they saying. ~smiles~ Take care handsome wot was almost black and crispy fun God.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:27 pm:
I should have gone to the fish shop instead

rm_mmmgoodnova 105M/105F
1259 posts
8/16/2006 3:38 pm

For some reason I keep, whistling, "Love the One You're With" right now.

Sorry about the loss of all your tangible memories...but when all's said and done, stuff is stuff, people and animals are more important. I know, easy for me to say...but I've moved around a lot, and have to always accept the possibility that some of my stuff may get "lost" along the way.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:47 pm:
Go on, be subtly judgemental, Y'know the reason I dont practice deceipt is that whilst I find it exciting I always get caught.

EroticaXTC 49F

8/16/2006 5:26 pm

how now brown cow....confusion say man who live on boat never sea legs again
have you ever seen a cowfish? that's what your new smiley reminds me of no, not really, just pulling your

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:48 pm:
Confusion say man on boat with bit of totty get caught on tv and married at dockside. Confusion is a twat

JuicyBBW1001 54F

8/16/2006 5:32 pm

Hmmm remind me to never get on a boat in the middle of bfe with you. (jk) I am sorry to read all that happened that day at least you are alive and well and can write about it.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 7:50 pm:
I have a yachtmasters licence, just need a fire fighters course

budandsissie 45M/45F
37 posts
8/16/2006 6:00 pm

That happens to me all the time!
Sometimes I think I need a new boat

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 8:01 pm:
do you like my new logo?? I think hes gay

catseyes23 61F

8/16/2006 9:00 pm

You certainly do have fun, Fun. :smiles:

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 9:26 pm:
I try, I really do ------> <------ my new logo, do you like him? Sexy or what

Sleepy1100 54M/45F
2 posts
8/16/2006 9:39 pm

Confucius says man who calls women 'wench' gets his balls handed to him ten fold *wink*.

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 10:36 pm:
Hi Sleep, I could do with 10 balls as it happens

catkit13 66F

8/16/2006 10:22 pm

yikes! my smileys aren't working tonight!
oh, i guess that one is
great story - i wanna see the video

funintheday2006 replies on 8/16/2006 10:38 pm:
You'll have to contact the news channel, the interview went " Can I take your name?"
"Fuck off wanker" Guess who said what

rm_thewaywewere 40F
85 posts
8/16/2006 11:38 pm

u deserve that, don't u, u horny git...humm...God isn't dead, eyes widely open, and he knews who is that sheepshagger... the logo urs? hv u aksed the logo whether it wants to be urs solely and did it agree to be urs? Also, upon ur life-story, u should enoy SHARING kinda guy, no???

funintheday2006 replies on 8/17/2006 12:14 am:
I thought he only worked Sundays. and I are engaged

rm_thewaywewere 40F
85 posts
8/17/2006 1:55 am

right,so he felt guilty not on duty, and set the fire, lol...And this time, he was probalby w**king and got no time to witness the engagement...but OBJECTION!!!

P.S. quite an interesting funny photo u post for this it u in the photo ON FIRE??? lol

funintheday2006 replies on 8/17/2006 2:06 am:
That was when I entered a farting competition, posted earlier.
This is my logo----> <---- nobody else is allowed to use it

Animal_73 43M
64 posts
8/17/2006 12:32 pm

Mate that sucks bad... prolly worse than my ex but you have to admit that there is a moral to your tale..

You just dont know what you got until you loose it!!! so stop takin things for granted and enjoy life while you can. CHerrish every moment you get with yer loved one... spesh if they swallow

funintheday2006 replies on 8/17/2006 11:16 pm:
They only swallow if it tastes like strawberry

rm_mmmgoodnova 105M/105F
1259 posts
8/18/2006 3:51 pm

Actually, I wasn't being judgmental...(far be it for me to do so!) sorry if it came across that way!

funintheday2006 replies on 8/18/2006 10:19 pm:
Not at all, I was kidding, the judgement was already made!!!!

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