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A mans private bits.....
A mans private bits.....
WOW… since my last article about single men not wanted in profiles and my somewhat twisted view my email box has never been busier!!
I’m thinking of adding it to my profile, maybe that will work!
And guys, we don’t have to email people begging if they state they don’t want us, so lets not do it, it makes us all look stupid as well as desperate.
Lets understand the meaning of the word NO and respect others space and preferences.
It’s great to see the campaign to deprive the ladies of our sexual favours is alive and there is almost a discernable pulse in the enthusiasm with which we are refusing to show or use our mans private bits.
I have to confess there are some saddies still playing with themselves on the cam but, they will always be there, and therefore do not count.
But you ladies and couples who preface your profiles with “NO SINGLE MEN” are about to suffer a famine of available male flesh for you to use and abuse.
Our favours are hereby withdrawn from offer and you will have to try REAL HARD to get us to your party.
Willies will be hidden from view and seeing our little testies will be akin to attempting a UFO sighting.
You may laugh and think we are not serious but we have all gone celibate for as long as it takes for you to understand that we are not cheap and we will not take second place to a toy with batteries, Duracell or not. We may run out of steam before the toy does but, we are flesh and blood with proper fluids.
Not only that, we kiss better and can do 2 things at once, top and bottom.
This may come as a surprise recollection for you as it has been some time since you put up that SINGLE MEN DO NOT ENTER sign but we multitask.
If the campaign fails, we are all going to have the operation and be bi-sexual ladies ourselves because, my god, they are popular!!!!
And those of us that are so ugly we look like we have been set fire to and extinguished with a baseball bat, (English readers.. replace baseball with cricket, more visual for us!), we are going to get titties so we won’t need you anymore.
When that’s done I’ll be 6’ tall, medium build, medium sized penis, balls x 2, not too bad to look at, long legs (hairy, but what the hell, you cant have everything, hate wax), lovely eyes that sparkle with extraordinary humour and, most importantly, a cute pert breast, probably smallish just to tease you, with the most amazing sensitive nipples. And whilst I’m on the table I will have my tongue lengthened and my airways adjusted so I can breathe through my ears. YOU’LL WANT ME THEN WON’T YOU??!!
So all those ladies and couples who are within travelling distance and want to experience the old me before I succumb to the knife, get in touch quick whilst you can, who knows when it will happen??
I will, naturally, suspend my campaign for a negotiable period of time whilst I interact with those who wish to use and abuse me…….
There you go, TYPICAL MAN!
For those who were interested enough to email and ask Babe won the Gold medal at the Pig Flying Olympics with a time of 3mins 45secs. She wore a red bikini and a blue tiara with encrusted emeralds. Her reward was to be last in line at the abattoir for recycling.