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A little tale of my sex history.
About 6 mo after my husband and I were first married (I was 19 he was 20) I was lead to understand that he was meeting with a woman he was working with after the shift was over. made me very angry. Very shortly after that discovery I was asked by an office manager to accompany him to the storage c room, after entering he locked the door and turned to me taking my hand he placed it on his hard cock and asked me to please give him a blowjob. at first i was shocked and said the anyone could come in the room and find us, he told me no that he had locked the door and pretty much pleades with me to please help him with his "problem". Being just 19 I was not expeienced in this kind of situation. My thoughts were that I did not want to loose my job so I would have to do what he wanted. In actuality this particular supervisor was a young man and not unattractive.
I got down on my knees, he already had unzipped and brought his cock out. (Remember, Very first blowjob) I put it in my mouth and started moving it in and out, he told me what to do and before very long I was getting pretty excited. I also was thinking "if my husband can do so can I" I stopped sucking long enough to ask him to fuck me but he wasn't having anything to do with that ( he must have been related to Bill Clinton 'cause he explained that he could not be unfaithful to his wife and have sex with another woman) So I finished what I was doing.
I thought about this for a long time and decided I liked to suck cock. but I didn't want to accept this decision. Raised as a Southern Baptist girl I was always taught that certain things were not acceptable.
With all this going around in my head I spent MANY years in confusion as to what was right and what was wrong.
Anyway, I had gotten even with my husband.
Very recently after 38 years of marriage and A LOT of extra marital affairs by me, with his help and understanding I finally told him about the supervisor and the storage closet. at first he was very interested but then over the next hour or so he became increasingly quiet.
Finally he came to me and asked for as detailed a description as I could give of the instance. After I got through I thought he would be excited as this was what we had settled on to be his way to participate in my sex sessions (an explination of this agreement later)
But he was not excited and seemed very depressed.
I asked him what was wrong,... he hesitated for a minute then said...
"I understand that you were told that I was messing around with the sherrif's girlfriend back then, but in reality I could NOT go thru with it.I went to her house and even made out with her but when it came down to doing it..I thought about you and how much I loved you and never wanted to put that in jeopardy. In retrospect for you to try to understand why I am as i have been over the life of our marriage, I felt VERY guilty for even getting in that position, so I have been trying to make up for that 'mistake' for 38 years. NOW you tell me that You DID what you accused me of doing. BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING and have been trying to make up for it since.
I don't know completely what he is talking about but one of the comments was "our whole life together has been based on a lie."
this was about a month ago. we seem to be as we always have been but I feel as if something is missing
what should I do? Don't know, am confused
7/12/2006 6:05 am
I think you give him now the same understanding that he has given you for all those years and that you do the things which you know pleases him. I don't think your marriage was a lie, only that the actions of both parties were based on false information. This is what happens when people do not communicate the love in their hearts.|