The Postman Stole My Vibrator!!!  

frogger1995 39F
4342 posts
11/15/2005 3:46 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Postman Stole My Vibrator!!!

I kid you not! Just look at the photo.

I just checked my mail as usual after a day of HUGE ups and downs…this being the kicker! First of all Frogger’s boss threatened to fire her for the second time in a year. Not to worry, that is just his way of motivating people…I am never his only target. Now, perhaps you have a better understanding of Frogger’s work environment and why I feel the need for an outlet….such as this site!

Anyway after considering selling the lily pad at a loss and finding a job out of town, Frogger found out that there is an opening at another institution which is not only right up Frogger’s alley…but one of the BEST places to work here in Houston…ever! So Frogger will be sending in her resume tomorrow AND eventually telling her boss where to stick it (finger’s crossed).

So Frogger was on her way home to the lily pad to prepare for a date tonight at Papasitos, her other favorite Mexican Restaurant, and was happy to see a nice big fat UNMARKED envelope in her mailbox.

!!!!!!!


The envelope was empty…but for an invoice:

1 4-piece ultimate Orgasm Kit Above Item Substituted for 5831 Purple/Pink Pleaser Double… INCLUDED IN THIS PACKAGE.

Well, it was not what I ordered…but it sounded good. Heck it sounded better than what I ordered! But where the fuck was it????? I want my Ultimate Orgasm!!!!!

Rest assured Frogger will be taking a trip down to the local post office tomorrow to interrogate every person on the premises. You think I’m concerned about the whole post office knowing about my A&E purchases? No way Jose! Not when it comes to an Ultimate Orgasm.

Things to be Happy About:

Reading Someone the Riot Act
Ceviche
Digital Cameras
Cantaloupe
Plaid



rm_Pike2489 46M

11/15/2005 4:18 pm

Damn it! That sucks!! Is your postman a postwoman? Maybe she took it.
Good luck finding the next ultimate job.
I know how you feel in the pissed off department, I'm feeling a little rejected at the moment too...
Good luck and hope you find your ULTIMATE ORGASM (and job)


bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
11/15/2005 4:19 pm

LMFAO -
Go for it - I just wish I could watch this go down.

Bull


HORNYVIKING722 44M
1023 posts
11/15/2005 4:25 pm

I'm certain I'm not the only one who'll fall all over themselves to help you with this, but I really want to help. To be the first. To be the one who stands out to prove how much your wants and needs are important to... So if you don't want to go to the post office alone, take TTigerATTY, he is my personal retainer and has a ferver during the heat of legal issues to rival the likes of F. Lee Bailey's paralegal nephew. I would go myself but I'm afraid of confrontation, so you'll just have to do with me being there in spirit only. His number is 1800 Tiga LLC, first consultation is free, and Baby, no one feels your pain like I do. ^_^

Hey Tigg, this word of mouth stuff should be good for at least $1500 off my bill, right?


rm_Tyler5K 35M

11/15/2005 4:37 pm

I'm trying to think if there is some sort of Confucian moral to this story... Something to the effect: that money can't buy you love. No wait that was the Beatles, nevermind.

Anyway, finding it hard to believe that a woman like you needs all those appliances - those damned lucky appliances. Why not just invest in a younger man. I mean all we do is think about sex...


TalonDuddyTonks 47M
659 posts
11/15/2005 4:42 pm

Frogger... good luck on the new job.... i am sure u will get it and be able to give your current boss a piece of your mind...

mmm... papasitos.. ate there last Friday night... good stuff!!!

sorry to hear about the ultimate orgasm... hopefully it will show up for you.. i would also call A&E and hopefully they will send u another one


trustno01 55M  
2364 posts
11/15/2005 4:43 pm

GO GET"M!!!! How dare they steal your pleasure. Let alone the feeling of being violated by the postman.


rm_thickguy81 36M

11/15/2005 4:51 pm

Oh how whack is that! I'm sorry to hear that the horny postman(?) or woman stole your ultimate orgasm! That's whack give the post office a bad name because my dad's a postman! Well if you're ever looking for an ultimate orgasm you know where to look haha, if i could help i wish i would. I hope you find out what happened. Go get em frogger you are woman let them hear your roar.


texascanadian05 53M
76 posts
11/15/2005 4:51 pm

This story saddens me on two levels :
1) That you lost your vibrator (or had it stolen).
2) That it's not me you're having the date with.

Oh, by the way, is your mailman's name Newman.


happy2surveUslav 39M

11/15/2005 4:52 pm

dam post men.
he could have at least left a thankyou for you


the1forthenight 33M
55 posts
11/15/2005 5:05 pm

People who work in the post office always seem to look pretty sneaky. Whoever tppk it is either extremely horny or stupid, because they will have a hard time trying to sell it.


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
11/15/2005 5:13 pm

sorry you had such a crumby day. seems to be alot of that in blogville today. but i have to say, i think it's really cool that no matter what you have to vent about in your blog, you always finish it off with 5 things to be happy about. you rock.

tires


rm_someone4you 47M
6 posts
11/15/2005 5:16 pm

that sucks, somehow I figure Newman from Seinfeld had something to do with this lol. Good luck getting your purple pleasure double and have fun


charleslamb4077 37M
90 posts
11/15/2005 5:22 pm

Way to go Frogger! Get that Resume out the door. I was a victim of ambitious axe. It is much harder to get a job when you are out the door and he does have to defend his comments. And good luck finding that Ultimate Orgasm, I bet it's not at the post office. The old lady in the back probably took it home already


weineroftheworld 66M

11/15/2005 5:25 pm

Man frogger, you have balls. Don't ya know that postal employees have shotguns!!!!


missy973 47F

11/15/2005 5:37 pm

Hell yeah, get that thing back! Or get them to send you another (obviously you don't want it from whoever took it, they may have used it. ugg).


bear77344 60M
103 posts
11/15/2005 5:42 pm

You're sure a neighbor couldn't have gotten it frogger? Look for a woman with a suspiciously big smile on her face.
Good luck getting the job you want. If there's a human resources in the old company blast him as you go out the door.


rm_yukonpaul 51M
1120 posts
11/15/2005 5:51 pm

i ordered some dvd's from A & E, as well. they had to back-order one, so they sent it separately, but i never got it! i had already paid and they said that they mailed it, but were not going to send me another one. i won't buy from them ever again.


gnr8nrg 46M

11/15/2005 6:19 pm

Bad bosses suck. I hope you find your new toy, but I hope you get a new job even more.


tillerbabe 55F

11/15/2005 6:21 pm

Get yours!!!!


digdug41 49M

11/15/2005 6:29 pm

well I hope you find out what happened would'nt want you to miss out on that ultimate orgasm!

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


rm_Sultan432 44M

11/15/2005 6:42 pm

Frogger your so wild!!! I say you line them all up against the wall and search them.
Ta killin


frogger1995 39F

11/15/2005 6:44 pm

Thanks kiddos. I would respond right now, but Frogger had a BAAAAAAD date and plans on sitting in bed sulking tonight. Hope your day went better than mine.


TalonDuddyTonks 47M
659 posts
11/15/2005 8:05 pm

Sorry to hear that your date did not go so well... You certainly deserve better!!


rm_Ptalk1155 34M
3450 posts
11/15/2005 8:17 pm

Aw, I got here late so I guess I don't get to add my enthusiasm for your interrogation of thieving postal workers. Sorry to hear about the date. Hope your evening goes better!


2xTwiceShy 51M
470 posts
11/15/2005 8:19 pm

Well it shouldn't take a whole lot of detective work at the post office. Just look for the only employee who's smiling.


erwinb4 59M
16 posts
11/15/2005 8:34 pm

PAPASITO'S FOOD IS THE ULTIMATE ORGASM!CALM DOWN.PLAN YOUR ESCAPE.FIND YOUR LANDING ZONE BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF.TRY NOT TO FIND YORSELF COUNTINTG THE STRIPES ON THE ROAD AND WONDERING WHERE YOU'RE GOING.ENJOY LIFE IN SPITE OF "THOSE PEOPLE"


easy_8 56M

11/15/2005 8:45 pm

How could you have a bad date? (I'm mystified)..
Hey, check out the person who seems relaxed and satisfied when you go to the Post Office...that's your culprit!
Good Luck...


rm_TNmbigshaft 39M

11/15/2005 9:56 pm

I'll be glad to replace your toy free of charge....but I get to take its place .


Arc_Angel2112 42M

11/15/2005 11:11 pm

Go get'em girl,lmao,good luck on the job search!


rm_baldlovin 35M

11/16/2005 4:12 am

Those postmen can't be trusted

but... if the postman/female has taken "the ultimate orgasm"... you would still like it back if it's "second hand"?


Jobe00 42M
211 posts
11/16/2005 4:28 am

That is just...
Christ on a cracker!
That is just insane.

Sorry to hear about your date going bad, and good luck on the job.
It's never a good work environment to work in where you are threatened to be fired (American Chopper being the only exception).


makesupregnant 48M
238 posts
11/16/2005 9:42 am

How nice of the post wo/man to test the ultimate toy for you. Did s/he at least send you a test report whether the stuff was good?

How does it come that the date was bad?


WildWon1982 34M

11/16/2005 11:10 am

I've had a similar problem, but thankfully, not with a vibrator. A couple years back I wanted to go as Dr. Evil for Halloween (I'm a huge Austin Powers fan). I ordered the costume online. I got it two days before Halloween. The invoice said "1 Dr. Evil Costume. Size: Men's XL. Included in this package." When I opened the package, I saw that they had not sent me what the invoice said. They sent me a Vanessa Kensington (Elziabeth Hurley's character) costume, sized in Women's Small. That would basically act as a sleeve for me. I called them to get the mix-up fixed, but they kept harping that they sent me the right thing because that's what the invoice said. The refused to send me the correct costume, because they don't send "free merchandise," and they refused to refund me. I ended up being out $50 bucks, and didn't get to do anything for Halloween that year.


rm_MinouNero 39F
14 posts
11/16/2005 12:22 pm

I hope that your day today was better then yesterday......Bad day at the office, bad date and a worst of all the Ulitmate Orgasm snatched out from under you, Literally!! Keep us posted on your quest to get it back.

If you need an uplifting office story you could read my blog. I don't know if it will help, but it is worth it to try.

Cat {=}


rm_tremulant44 29M

11/16/2005 2:47 pm

I say you wait for your mail tomorrow and confront the postman about it. It should either be really awkward, or really kinky.


rm_littlejake18 46M/48F
35 posts
11/16/2005 3:40 pm

Please tell us you have several cute little plaid mini-skirts (the Catholic girl High School uniform type) and that is why it makes you smile. If that's the case, thanks for spreading so much joy in this world one smile at a time.


rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
11/16/2005 4:46 pm

I wouldn't presume to give you legal advice, Frogger, but do keep in mind that vibrators, dildos, even certain condoms are illegal in Texas if the intent is to use them as they're intended.

Only way they're legal is if you intend to use them for "novelty" purposes. So if it comes up, the vibe is a gag gift for a friend, eh?


mygmyg 59M

11/16/2005 4:52 pm

Frogger, the disappearance of the Ultimate Orgasm is more than a federal offense, just shy of terrorism!! No grey area here, just hot, passionate flaming red!!

toss out all the married suspects, they know all too well they would be playing with more than a loaded gun, pilphering a ladys' joy toy!!
Must be a single knuckledragger, or could it be that a POSTAL PERSON has made off with your JOY TOY?

should this be the case, surely the evidence would point to the use of a "sick day, or personal day" on the guilty partys' part!!

sorry you had to endure a bad date on top of the disappearance of your PARCEL!!



thanks for the invite Frogger!!

You made my day!


rm_freevibect 35M
3 posts
11/16/2005 5:17 pm

Lucky postman. Usually they need to make do with Victoria's Secret catalogs--ok, Sears (ding!)

Next up: FedEx and the case of the missing Sybian.


BROC817 44M

11/16/2005 5:26 pm

i am wanting to say hello and also invite you to a great group here at AdultFriendFinder...the group is called Looking For Friendships....in this group you will be able to post / comment about alot of topics and you will not be judged for your opinions...if you have any interest in joining us please feel free to click on the link provided...

thank you for your time !!!


rm_skylark344 46M

11/16/2005 5:34 pm

Sorry (or, speaking on behalf of us guys, maybe not so sorry) to hear that Papasitos didn't go so well. My recommendation stands with Ninfa's for great Tex-Mex, especially the fajitas. And best of luck with your other dilemmas: Serious issues, especially distribution quality control at A&E, usually turn out for the best and lead to a little humor/irony at the end of the day! Cuidate!


kbgreen 41M
2 posts
11/16/2005 5:52 pm

My postlady had the BIGGEST smile on her face today and was walking funny...coincidence?

And as for work...just remember what Yogi Berra said...
"If you don't know where you're going, you might end up somewhere else." And in my experience somewhere else is usually not good


Arc_Angel2112 42M

11/16/2005 7:25 pm

    Quoting frogger1995:
    Thanks kiddos. I would respond right now, but Frogger had a BAAAAAAD date and plans on sitting in bed sulking tonight. Hope your day went better than mine.
Hey sorry to hear you had a bad date,if there is anything I can do to make you feel better let me know!-F,H,L-Mick


jakblack36 48M

11/16/2005 8:15 pm

Your postman is probably on this site. My guess is he/she is a republican and they have read your blog. Thus, they realize your both articulate and attractive woman (I bet you have other great attributes as well). Anyway I think the plan will back fire. Hopefully this pathetic loser will use the product and in doing so will realize that Dubya is the antichrist while achieving the ultimate orgasm and thus enlightenment


imBambi 58M/50F

11/16/2005 9:35 pm

Froggie,

Speaking from experience, it takes guts to walk into a place to retrieve a vibrator. A while back, Bambi left her favorite one in a hotel. She sent me in to do the dirty deed and ask the staff if they had a vibrator in the lost and found. Fortunately, they did and the good sex was saved but my reddened face was not.

AtomicKisss/imBambi

P.S. In case you wanted to know what ever became of AtomicKisss, now you know!


Polo32577 39M

11/17/2005 8:25 am

i'm sorry to hear about your bad day....but look at the positive there is always tomorrow, and that u have to be thankful for...i takes alot of courage to go and get back what is yours, so more power to you....i also saw u had a bad date, fuck him his lost if he can't treat a beautiful woman like u right


rm_abomberz 38M
39 posts
11/17/2005 5:06 pm

after bad dates i'm usually laughing at what a bitch/moron the girl was. or maybe just dissappointed in wasting a night out. but you seem to be angry... did this stem from politics talk on a first date? and was this man that pissed you off, also the one that sponsored you membership? if it was, i want to make one more guess... did his seemingly good natured offer, turn out to be a barter of sorts, you get to see full size photos for another 6 months only if he gets one night with you? reminds me of a movie with demi and robert redford...


Valdrane78 38M

11/17/2005 8:28 pm

I'm not sure you would want it back, who knows where he put it.

BANG! POW! BOOM! a study in useless knowledge and sick humor!
I want a damn soundtrack to my blog!


rm_Never911 59M
125 posts
11/18/2005 12:41 pm

Sorry...I took it out of the package so that I could hand deliver it. I figured you could probably use some help with it.


frogger1995 39F

11/18/2005 4:57 pm

Holy Cow! 52 comments. WOuld love to respond to you all but...I have to move on with life. Thanks for the support in this time of need.

BTW about the date, just a warning to all the women out there..stay away from blackpussy4me...he has about as much tact as a Battering Ram. (Definitely Knuckledragger Material)


LopesGaiusVower 43M
5 posts
11/18/2005 5:07 pm

Pink Pleaser Double....R tha Bomb! Just tried them!
Thx >>!
...\8 \8b


lookbutdonttouc9 38F

11/18/2005 6:44 pm

through rain or snow or sleet of night will prevent the postman from having a climax with a stolen vibrator. No wonder the price of stamps has gone up Feel better


rm_barisdeniz 42M
15 posts
11/26/2005 12:44 pm

Heyyy Frogger!! don't worry.. the taste of real cock is always better than a vibrator,you know.. it is the chance for you,take it .. if it was not robbed ,we don't meet. taste real cocks . don't worry froggy..


rm_kingofnymphs 42M

11/30/2005 8:24 am

stick it to the post man girl dont let them get away with that shit, put aside your shame and fight for it.


sleeplessknight1 68M

12/15/2005 1:35 pm

frogger....
omg.... I wouldnt know what to say.....hahahaha.
I think I would just put it down to error.....
not that I use one of those...hahahaha


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