Detour: No Parent Left Behind  

frogger1995 39F
4342 posts
11/1/2005 4:55 pm

Last Read:
9/26/2006 6:17 pm

Detour: No Parent Left Behind


Out of complete lack of fodder for today's post I am borrowing from my uncle who works in a school somewhere in Tennessee. Supposedly this is going around the school districts there. It is absolutely hilarious and worth sharing. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud.

These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district...
(Spellings have been left intact.)

1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.

2-- PLEASE EXKUCE L____ FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.

3-- DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's J____ BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.

4-- PLEASE EXCUSE G____ FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.

5-- PLEASE EXCUSE R____ FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.

6-- J____ HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.

7-- C____ WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WA S PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.

8-- M____ COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.

9-- C____ WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.

10-- PLEASE EXCUSE R____ FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.

11-- PLEASE EXCUSE P____ FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE,DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT].
(Love it!)

12-- PLEASE EXCUSE T____ FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.

13-- I____ WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.

14-- PLEASE EXCUSE J____ FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT. {You know, this could be legit!}

15-- I KEPT B____ HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW! WHAT SI ZE SHE WEAR.

16-- PLEASE EXCUSE J____ FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.

17-- S____ WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL.

18-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES. {I absolutely LOVE that one!}

19-- PLEASE EXCUSE J____ FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.

20-- PLEASE EXCUSE M____ FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.

21-- G____ WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.

22-- PLEASE EXCUSE B____. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.

23-- M____ WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORETHROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AN SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.

NOW WE KNOW WHY PARENTS ARE SCREAMING FOR BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR KIDS.

It's easy to be wise. Just think of something really stupid to say an don't say it.

Things to be Happy About

Bacon Cheesburgers
Guacamole
Adult Cartoons
Beads
Anthropologie


MTguy1987 29M
8 posts
11/1/2005 5:53 pm

Very interesting read, I thank you.


CantonOhCouple 60M/60F
553 posts
11/1/2005 6:19 pm

You kept your promise.


rm_Balanon2 48M
193 posts
11/1/2005 7:05 pm

Ummm, bacon cheeseburgers... Thanks for deciding my dinner for me!

Which Adult Cartoons do you watch? I'm getting into the 'Venture Brothers' and 'Ghost in the Shell' on Adult Swim.

How about Anthroapology?- the study of mans excuses

Good surragate post. Thanks!


digdug41 49M

11/1/2005 8:15 pm

rofl those poor teacher's I'm sure their thinking now that explains everything.

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


ewan_1973 44M

11/1/2005 8:33 pm

Dear Frogger, thanks for the double header. I mean that I got to read two very good posts in a row -the first one might have been censored for a while. I am still waiting for an email you told me you would send, bu, who am i to deserve anything from a goddess. You are great, Frogger! Love, Ewan


envynot 39M
3 posts
11/2/2005 2:26 am

sometimes ignorance is bliss.but,this time those kids need to whoop their parents ass.straight like dat.


JarrodSparrow 33M

11/2/2005 2:53 am

Another hilarious post Frogger...

I've read similar e-mails from my friends and think that America's youth are going to be ruined by their previous generation...well, not all of them...but a lot of them...anyway, hope you find some fodder soon...will it come with your vibe I wonder?

Lata, Jarrod


rm_chowbox2005 43M

11/2/2005 10:01 am

I love it! These could actually be real, it's amazing....


rm_simon234233 39M
37 posts
11/2/2005 11:52 am

thanks, funny stuff


makesupregnant 48M
238 posts
11/2/2005 1:57 pm

Great collection, thanks. *lol* I wish I had a source where to get such jokes.


rm_kosherC 56M
3 posts
11/2/2005 7:49 pm

DID THOSE GUYS EVER HEARD ABOUT CHECK SPELLING??


TalonDuddyTonks 47M
659 posts
11/2/2005 8:17 pm

good one... thanks...


634694u 46M

11/2/2005 11:27 pm

My mother was a teacher for 27 years, I've heard and seen so many like this. Great post and sad at the same time.

And as for Dr kink, we could pay teachers more if the extra cash didn't flow into the teachers union. duh, I agree, stop testing the kids and test the teachers, then pay them what they are worth, just like in the real world! As for the parents, they need to teach children what life is about, not teachers. Teachers have a responsibility-ABC's and 123's not as "stand-in" parents. As for money, I earned mine! (Earned, not handed out, earned!) nobody helped "redistribute funds" so my world would be equal to my fellow Americans. Lastly, What the hell does the military have to do with this post? nothing, just throw-out shit and see what sticks as usual! Damn, I bet your, hmm, let me see if I can spell it, Thesaurus? thesarissss? thesiris?(us dumb Republicans always fucking-up!)has more wet smudges than your playboy mags! Idealism-how about some realism.

Sorry Frogger, another sore subject for me tonight. Trav's was even worse.


silverfoxrun 40M

11/2/2005 11:30 pm

well thats tennesee for you


AlbertPrince 57M

11/3/2005 1:16 am

LOL


frogger1995 39F

11/3/2005 6:32 am

MTguy1987 & CantonOhCouple; Glad you enjoyed it.

Balanon2: Mostly Adult Swim Stuff. BTW Anthroplogie is a store for women.

digdug41: Yes, they are probably thinking they should get a raise for compensating where the parents are obviously screwing up.

ewan_1973: Glad you enjoyed both. This is long after I sent you a message so that point is now moot

travelingintexas: Two cartoons I hate: Drawn Together (tooooo gross) and anything japanseish.

envynot: Boy if the kids ever got a hold of this...it would be rebellion!

JarrodSparrow: Let's hope so! though who knows how long I will have to wait. Perhaps I should break my self imposed abstenence....

longhairednikki: Yes, it's always the quiet one's we assume are brilliant...like that movie Being There

DrKink4nastyFUN: I agree, if teachers were paid better and the profession actually respected, then there would actually be competition to get such jobs. Then students (and eventually parents) would know how to write.

chowbox2005: The sad part is you are right.

simon234233: Happy to provide amusement.

kosherC: Good point but i don't think it's offered for hand written notew. Perhaps a better question is "have they ever heard of a dictionary?" But then you have to know what you are looking for.

NameIsRace:Happy to provide amusement.

634694u: Yes but where would this country be without unions? YOu look like a working guy (based on your pics) don't you have (and appreciate) a union? As for the rest...I welcome all comments, even if they have no relation to the topic at hand. Rant at will.

silverfoxrun: I wasn't going to say it but I agree

AlbertPrince: Yes, I am still doing the same LOL


rm_TNmbigshaft 39M

11/3/2005 11:33 am

Now I understand what is wrong with the education system in TN...we have parents teaching are kids. The Blind leading the Blind as it were.

Glad my edumaction was bett'r than dat...least I got'n myne diaploma out of a Cracker Jack box...lol j/k


IByerGIGG 56M

11/4/2005 9:15 pm

Wonderful, THX 4 LOL, i need 'um
GOD bless the common man! : )


rm_BetsyBiguns 47F
9 posts
11/5/2005 9:33 am

Thank you thank you thank you....LMAO
Now I don't feel half bad about any note I wrote to the teacher.
These notes do explain alot about why kids are have trouble with school work....they certainly can't get help at home.


rm_poker2face 59M
30 posts
11/8/2005 11:09 am

i'm mad very mad i will say only this::

i hope the apple falls far away from the tree!!!!!!


Mr8X52U 32M
5 posts
4/26/2006 9:24 pm

PLEASE EXCUSE J____ FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.

best one, i cant believe people are that ignorant, whats the world coming to?


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