Birthdays, Christmas, and Other Occasions for Useless Gifts  

frogger1995 39F
4342 posts
12/13/2005 4:53 pm

Last Read:
9/26/2006 6:26 pm

Birthdays, Christmas, and Other Occasions for Useless Gifts

They say it's the thought that counts when giving gifts. During one of my (quite common) bouts of boredom at work, I was perusing one of many amusing websites. In a nod to Madoxx (the Best Page in the Universe) a wannabe (though admittedly so) posted a response to that nonsense about the thought actually counting. He posted his "thought" on eB--. The last time I looked it was going for over $25. Hmmm, maybe the thought actually did count in that circumstance.

But when it comes to my own relatives...the thought is usually all I have to rely on. My mother aside (who knows me damn better than even I know myself), they have a habit of buying things that just don't make any dang sense.

Let's start with my father. My birthday happens to fall just in time for Christmas season to get started. So I make sure that my "Christmas" list gets sent to all relevant parties well before the season (Christ's birthday and mine) begins. My mother had the good sense to single-handedly take three things off of my list. My father, who thinks "it's no fun to buy people things they expect" (direct quote) bought me a bouquet of fake posies...while I was in Los Angeles. They were beautiful, but at over two feet tall and almost as wide,(and permanently stuck in a glass vase) they weren't quite practical for my three hour trip back to Houston...especially on the postage sized plane I was stuck on. But out of love for him, I lugged them home and they are now sitting quite prettily on my Dining room table.

This post was actually spawned by a BOX my grandmother informed me sent me today. She works at Wal-Mart (shudder). She is one of those senior citizens that they hire as a greeter out front to make the company seem more warm and fuzzy. If you knew my grandmother then you would know what a joke this is (ohhhh stop! even she realizes the irony of working as someone who is supposed to be warm and welcoming).

The point is she gets a lot of cheap crap at cheaper prices. Anytime there is a BOX bigger than 3'x 3'on my doorstep I know it is from her. I also know there will be about 1 or 2 things out of 20-30 things that I will actually use or like.

Case in point...when she found out that I had just bought a condo she sent a house warming BOX. Background: A long time ago my mother mentioned in passing that I liked frogs. BIG mistake. Ever since then I have received every type of doodad from socks to lampshades that has a frog on it.

My house warming BOX included:

1 frog themed bathroom rug
1 frog themed rug to go around the toilet
1 frog themed toilet seat cover
1 frog shaped toothbrush holder
1 frog themed cup
1 frog themed shower curtain*
1 frog themed trash can
2 frog themed yards of fabric (two different patterns)
3 frog themed dish towels
2 green bath towels* (I guess she couldn't find a frog theme here)
1 green bathrobe* (I guess she couldn't find a frog theme here)
1 black purse with a big pink letter A on the front (TMI here)
1 matching eyeglass holder with a big pink letter A on the front
1 rock water fountain*

* These are items I actually used or liked.

So as you can imagine I am really looking forward to the Christmas BOX. Don't get me wrong, I love her. But sometimes I wish she would save both of us time and effort (and forget about all that thought-that-counts nonsense) and just send me the damn money.

Side Note: There is a package from g--dv-bes that I am looking forward to. I finally broke down and did as I was told...I bought the
FUKUOKU 9000. A fellow AdultFriend mentioned it in a previous post. Just in case (to cover me should this disappoint as the pussy tickler did) I also bought the Top Ten Bullet. I shall inform you of the results. (!!!!!)

P.S. If you are going out tonight in Houston STAY OFF Richmond...the police are out in force tonight for some reason. I saw four people get tickets!

Things to be Happy About:
Hot Pink
Cheap Meals
Frogs (yes I do in fact like them)

norprin5 55M

12/13/2005 6:13 pm

be happy with the 2 or 3 things, have a yard sale with the rest

King Nor XVIII

kittylicker382 48M

12/13/2005 7:27 pm

Hi Frogger....not since before my ex G/F got her breasts reduced(and she really regretted it,by the way) have I seen anouther set of tits that I would give anything to have a chance to fondle and play with!!!You have spectacular breasts and I wish I was within 100 miles of them just so I could be close enough to call and hear you breathe over the phone...thos e tits rising and falling with your every breath!!! YES...I am a serious tit freak!!!!! lol.

gunslinger421965 52M
3 posts
12/13/2005 7:34 pm

Frogger, that is pretty darn funny. Especially the way you tell the story. Lot's of laughs!

trustno01 55M  
2364 posts
12/13/2005 7:35 pm

All you need now is a lilly pad for all your frog items. LOL

WildWon1982 34M

12/13/2005 7:53 pm

It actually worked the opposite way for my family growing up. My mother and grandmother fueded for years, to the point where the courts got involved and we left the state. One year, for Christmas, Gramm sent me and my sister each $100 in a card, telling us to spend it on what "we really wanted" but didn't get. My mother was so insulted that she had us send the money back.

mangomamiCT 42F

12/13/2005 7:59 pm

Awwwww you have me longing for times past when my gramma used hand knit all my presents , blankets , sweaters, hats , slippers, you name it . The most unique you ask , a handknit tampon case !
Wow I miss my gramma !

frogger1995 39F

12/13/2005 8:19 pm

norprin5: Yes, I could probably get about five bucks for the bunch

kittylicker382: ummm..thanks?!

gunslinger421965: Yes, looking at it now, it is pretty funny.

trustno01: I certainly don't plan on giving grandma any ideas.

WildWon1982: Gee that sucks...I guess I should count myself lucky...even if my condo does look like Kermit's garage sale.

mangomamiCT: Well, I guess again I should count myself lucky that she is still alive to send all this stuff.

im_curious_4u 50M

12/13/2005 9:02 pm

Ya gotta love Grannie. Mine once gave me a big blue clock with a guy on it deep sea fishing. Along side him was a girl in a bikini who said "oh you've got a big one!" each hour.

redmustang91 57M  
8599 posts
12/14/2005 4:13 am

I love Senior Citizen art and all the tacky crap in the world that only grannies can buy and love. You should make a museum or shrine to frogdom and charge for admission!

frogger1995 39F

12/14/2005 5:09 am

im_curious_4u: That's hilarious...I wonder if she knew what she was sending you

lonelyhorny00: Yes, but that would mean I'd actually have to step foot in their store...something I have vowed never to do.

redmustang91: I suppose that would make up for it...I could then pay for tasteful decor.

rm_vinnie129 41M
1 post
12/14/2005 6:35 am


58 posts
12/14/2005 7:06 am

Here's my thought...the towels and bath robe being into the frog theme by virtue of their color, in the absence of frogs.....hmm....too deep ya think? hardly wait to see what's in the Christmas box! (oops Holiday Season box...I suppose we have to be

sillyperv 54M

12/14/2005 8:26 am

That's hilarious! A few more birthdays like that and you can open a shop!

digdug41 49M

12/14/2005 8:50 am


roaming the cyber streets of blogland

sleeplessknight1 68M

12/14/2005 10:08 am


I do agree,
It is the thought rather than the gift.....

ok I am opening a stall for socks.... and clothes that are
the wrong size.....
and I have a fabulous collection of new cds, never opened or played.......
since it is more godly to give than receive can I gve the cds away as presents......
sorry, awful thought.......

ok who likes Country Music.....

im_curious_4u 50M

12/14/2005 3:46 pm

Well she did change my diapers when I was a baby but I'm about 100% sure she had the fishing theme in mind.

I wonder why a girlfriend never got me that clock?

mustang65695 57M
54 posts
12/14/2005 7:57 pm

I never saw a blue frog before, maybe it's just a reflection from the toothbrush. Reading the paragraph about your father and his gift remined me that my father passed away at Christmas time, any gift he ever got me seems that much more special now.

TTigerAtty 62M

12/15/2005 7:04 am

Help me understand the 'frog fetish', Frogger? Is this some kinda new BDSM fetish thing? Have you spoken of it in a previous mosting I might go to and read? I can relate to care packages from mothers and grandmothers. I think we probably all can!

singlequietone 67M
232 posts
12/16/2005 9:22 pm

Hi Frogger,
You continue to fascinate me with your experiences and stories! I love to read them. ------- Luv Ya

ImpishWolf 37M
29 posts
12/17/2005 3:41 am

I can understand some of your feelings about Christmas. I truly never really expect to get anything, though my grandma with out fail every year sends me a box, this is not a small box ether, that is always full of various sugary foods all of which I really don’t need. And all of which I eventually give to my dad cause there is no way I can eat a large box of sugary foods my self, plus he like them more than I do. There also happens to be a card, a nice Hallmark card, with a maxim of ten dollars. I have nothing against receiving money nor do I really need any or want. But come on ten dollars, that doesn’t even buy gas. But I guess it’s the thought that counts. My mother bless her soul seems to always find a way to send me something. I don’t expect nor even want her to send me anything, being as she usually can’t afford to, but she does most Christmases. I do have to say she always send me something I like even if she doesn’t have to.

The biggest gripe I have against this time of year and maybe you understand it. Is that Christmas tends to interfere with my birthday; I can’t fault Christmas for this being as most likely Christmas happened before I was born. But I sure wished it wouldn’t cast a shadow over a day I can truly call my own. Of which I have a hard time understanding sometimes since it is not really that close to Christmas, being 16 days after. But every year my Christmas and Birthday presents seem to come on the same day Christmas. So the Box of sugar is not only my Christmas present but also my Birthday one. Does this happen to you too?

frogger1995 39F

12/17/2005 7:15 pm

vinnie129: Hello

trickii2005: I suspect so

sillyperv: I wonder what would happen if I called it Froger1995's little Frog SHop...I suspect I would get more male patrons than female

digdug41: I know

sleeplessknight1: Yes, I'm glad I brought them back, even though he would probably never know.

im_curious_4u: Grandma's can be funny that way...they are amusinly oblivious.

mustang65695: believe's green, along with everything else she sent.

TTigerAtty: I suspect it had to do with my two favorite childhood books: The Wind in the Willows and the Frog and Toad series...LOVED them!

singlequietone: that all you had to say regarding my message? I was hoping you would expand on that.

ImpishWolf: Fortunately mine is far enough away so that I don't get 1 gift. I always thought it would suck to have x-mas so close to a birthday. That is why I will NOT get married near Christmas or my double gifting for me.

BTW I have you grandmother sends me a whole dollar bill on my birthday...just like she did when I was 5. I guess she thinks it's cute. I make a point of using it to buy Red Vines, which are a special treat for me.

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