When all else fails...try one of these  

freetime648 52F
7629 posts
3/22/2006 2:49 am

Last Read:
3/23/2006 1:04 am

When all else fails...try one of these


1. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

3. Nice legs....what time do they open?

4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want 1 more?

6. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a BIG BREASTED BED THRASHER, have you seen one?

7. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest women on earth tonight.

8. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

9. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

10.Is that a ladder in you stockings or the stairway to heaven?

11. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

12. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

13. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

14. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

15. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

16. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

17. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'm cute?

Have fun!!

xx FREETIME648 xx

HotDev1l 45M
1265 posts
3/22/2006 4:16 pm

Picture scene: Pub full of blokes.....me and a pal at the bar drinking merrily away......in walks 3 girls....one is stunning...model looks 5'9" ish....thigh length boots on.......they walk to the bar to order drinks....rest of the pub has gone quiet.....mouths are gaping...necks are craning....girl moves to bar next to me...I put drink down...look her up and down
Me: "nice boots"!
she: "do you like them"
me: "do you keep them on"
she *knee to groin*
me "ooof" "gag...o...o...gag" *slide to floor* loud laughter and round of applause from all and sundry
drinks served
me *regaining composure and returning to two feet* "so...I suppose a date next week is completely out of the question!"

Guess what

citizen4722 59M  
47386 posts
3/22/2006 8:33 am

If i said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

(has any one actually used that line !!!)

wildoats19622 54M
3484 posts
3/22/2006 3:40 am

scene at a bar, a friend of mine goes up to a babe and tells her that I want to tweak her nipples (he points at me during this). Then he comes over to me and tells me what he told her. My reaction, why did you tell her that!! His answer, okay I'll go over and tell her that you don't want to tweak her nipples.


Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.

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