So what does "BARBIE" want for X-mas?????  

freetime648 52F
7629 posts
11/30/2005 3:33 am

Last Read:
10/20/2006 11:13 am

So what does "BARBIE" want for X-mas?????

I found this on google

Dear Santa:

Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas
Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many
tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 1998:


Santa:

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy Ken. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, get it done.

6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account exec!

8. A new, more 90s persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie," sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. Mattel stock options. It's been 37 years--I think I deserve it.

Ok, Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas.

It's that simple.

Yours truly,
Barbiexxoo



xx FREETIME648 xx


freetime648 52F

12/1/2005 5:56 am

BB, you just have to love that mean old woman.......GO JOAN!!!! GO JOAN!!!!!!


xx FREETIME648 xx


freetime648 52F

12/1/2005 5:56 am

Mcbone....how is to take it like a man when she doesn't even have the vital female parts let alone "man" parts??? LMAO!!


xx FREETIME648 xx


brightblonde3 58F

11/30/2005 9:13 am

No stock options? Barbie should tell Mattel what Joan Crawford told the Board of Directors of PepsiCola when they tried to oust her after her husband, the CEO, died:

"Don't fuck with me fellows, this ain't my first rodeo!"

Yeh, Joan, and go, Barbie!

BB3


caressmewell 53F

11/30/2005 6:51 am


rm_McBone74 42M
121 posts
11/30/2005 5:16 am

I don't know who to be sorry for, Barbie or Santa, Santa or Barbie? If you try to compare what they have done to poor little Barbie in those years and what they have done to Santa in those years, who loses??? Santa does represent Christmas and know ask yourself what Christmas is actually all about and what it has become today!
So stop crying little doll and just take it like a man.


xx McBone74 xx


xxFreetime648xx


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