|Blogs > frbnkslady > just me..|
Letter to My Pets:
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch
positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. All
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing your
print in the middle of MY plate and food does not stake a claim making it
YOUR plate and food.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in
your quest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
under the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through
the same door I entered. Honest.
Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some time
-- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go smell the other
To pacify you, my dear companions, I have posted the following
notice on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and then Complain About Our Pets
1. The pets live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. (That's why it's call "fur"niture.)
3. To you, our pets are just animals. To us, they are an
adopted son/daughter who happens to be hairy, walks on all
fours and doesn't speak clearly.
4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because:
---- they don't ask for money all the time
~~~~~ they are easier to train
~~~~~ they usually come when called
~~~~~ they don't hang out with drug-using friends
~~~~~they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college
education, and ~~~~~ if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
Pass this on to other pet lovers in your life!
Thank you again Lixxers, you always come through when I need a laugh. Love you man.. T
Pic is of 'PuppyLube' Duke at 5 months. He is now 15 months..
4/9/2006 4:42 pm
Funny... especially the part about being better than kids...|
4/9/2006 2:51 am
Hello i'm latino french|
4/8/2006 8:56 pm
Like married first cousins in deep east Texas...I can totally relate to this...|
especially when there's a big thunderbuster and I go in the bathroom to take a shower...
Apparently I need a bushy chaperone rather than shaved... lol
Oh yeah, come look up at my pole....err....POLL....if you haven't done so already!
A Baseball Ballot The Ladies Will Love....
Conserve Water and Prevent Global Warming: Shower With A MILF!
4/8/2006 8:11 am
You feeding your dog motor oil again? LOL!|
Luber. too funny!
4/8/2006 5:20 am
Love you to babe, wish I could promise things will get better asap but you know how that goes. You have my number and yahell if you ever need to talk , and I am glad you smiled, cuz I make it a personal mission to make ya smile and laugh daily (How is Luber by the way )|
| SEXY TRUCKR| '|""";.., __.
|_..._...______===|==|__|..., ] l
"(@ )'(@ )""""*|(@ )(@ )*****(@ )
© LoveToLixxxxxxx 2006
PLEASE SUPPORT OUR TROOPS
4/7/2006 4:58 pm
i've seen this before but still love it |
4/7/2006 4:55 pm
i am deff passing that one on it was hilariouse|
4/7/2006 4:21 pm
I thought I was the only one who had a pet that was fascinated with me taking a leak.|