Pets  

frbnkslady 48F
3442 posts
4/7/2006 3:51 pm

Last Read:
4/9/2006 8:47 pm

Pets

Letter to My Pets:

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch
positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. All
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing your
paw
print in the middle of MY plate and food does not stake a claim making it
YOUR plate and food.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in
your quest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can
run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
under the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through
the same door I entered. Honest.

Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some time
-- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go smell the other
dog's/cat's behind.

To pacify you, my dear companions, I have posted the following
notice on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and then Complain About Our Pets
1. The pets live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. (That's why it's call "fur"niture.)
3. To you, our pets are just animals. To us, they are an
adopted son/daughter who happens to be hairy, walks on all
fours and doesn't speak clearly.
4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because:
---- they don't ask for money all the time
~~~~~ they are easier to train
~~~~~ they usually come when called
~~~~~ they don't hang out with drug-using friends
~~~~~they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college
education, and ~~~~~ if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

Pass this on to other pet lovers in your life!

Thank you again Lixxers, you always come through when I need a laugh. Love you man.. T


Pic is of 'PuppyLube' Duke at 5 months. He is now 15 months..


T





elysianpleasure 47M

4/9/2006 4:42 pm

Funny... especially the part about being better than kids...


frbnkslady replies on 4/9/2006 5:38 pm:
LOL.... I love him to death.... T

rm_jge8701 29M
1 post
4/9/2006 2:51 am

Hello i'm latino french


Wordsmith2004 36M
7233 posts
4/8/2006 8:56 pm

Like married first cousins in deep east Texas...I can totally relate to this...

especially when there's a big thunderbuster and I go in the bathroom to take a shower...

Apparently I need a bushy chaperone rather than shaved... lol

Oh yeah, come look up at my pole....err....POLL....if you haven't done so already!

A Baseball Ballot The Ladies Will Love....

Conserve Water and Prevent Global Warming: Shower With A MILF!


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
4/8/2006 8:11 am

You feeding your dog motor oil again? LOL!

Luber. too funny!


frbnkslady replies on 4/8/2006 10:05 am:
LMAO... no, he got nic named PuppyLube from inhaling a jar of vaseline... T

LoveToLixxxxxxx 55M

4/8/2006 5:20 am

Love you to babe, wish I could promise things will get better asap but you know how that goes. You have my number and yahell if you ever need to talk , and I am glad you smiled, cuz I make it a personal mission to make ya smile and laugh daily (How is Luber by the way )

""""^^^^^^^^^^^^| |
| SEXY TRUCKR| '|""";.., __.
|_..._...______===|==|__|..., ] l
"(@ )'(@ )""""*|(@ )(@ )*****(@ )

© LoveToLixxxxxxx 2006

PLEASE SUPPORT OUR TROOPS

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frbnkslady replies on 4/8/2006 10:04 am:
LIxxers.. You making me smile daily has been SOOO welcomed... you will not believe. T

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
4/7/2006 4:58 pm

i've seen this before but still love it


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


frbnkslady replies on 4/7/2006 5:14 pm:
It fits our puppy SOOOOO well its beyond comical. T

sexymamma662003 31F

4/7/2006 4:55 pm

i am deff passing that one on it was hilariouse

~sexy~


frbnkslady replies on 4/7/2006 5:15 pm:
LMAO... Gave me a laugh when I needed it most.. T

mtdude2 55M  
117 posts
4/7/2006 4:21 pm

I thought I was the only one who had a pet that was fascinated with me taking a leak.


frbnkslady replies on 4/7/2006 5:16 pm:
LMAO.... PuppyLube is the same way.. except I have now learned to lock bathroom door while taking a shower or a bath. I woke up from soaking one day with him blowing bubbles in my water.... NOT relaxing.. but funny now....LMAOOO T

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