Number 1 way to know you got to damn drunk last night LOL
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May 17, 2012 4:14 pm
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I just have to share this with you, blew my mind completely apart!
Yesterday morning I woke up, and checked my cell, I had a txt message from my ex wife which read,
"So if I wanted to go to olive garden, and a movie u would take me?"
UUUMMM, WTF??????????????????
I began replaying the previous nights events through my mind,
1. got home from work
2. started drinking screwdrivers
3. progressed to margaritas
4. progressed to Tequlla straight up
5. checked Adult FriendFinder nothing really going on,
6. checked facebook again nothing really going on,
7. what happened next? Shit! I can't remember,,,,,,,,,
checked outgoing txt's, I mean where the hell did her txt come from?
I sent her a txt asking if she was available Saturday evening, my daughter graduates from high school saturday during the day. When I was still with my ex, I had a black filing cabinet which has pics, and memorabilia of my first wife, my daughters mother in it. I thought since I would be back in arkansas, this would be a great time to get the filing cabinet back and give to my daughter as part of her graduation gift.
Apparently my ex misunderstood the "Are you available Saturday evening?" txt
It kind of got me to thinking though, how far would I be willing to go to get that filing cabinet for my daughter? I was seriously thinking about it. I thought, well would you actually have sex with her, if that's what it took to get it? would I have sex with her? I tried to visualize it, and WOW! I seriously suddenly became nauseated, all B.S. aside, I really got freakin nauseous. I had to start thinking about something else and breathe shallowly to stop the urge to throw up.
DAMN!!!! how things can so freakin change between two people. So, here's a for sure measurement of how to know you drank to much, when you can't remember what the hell you might have done while drinking ya might of had a few to many 
P.S. the other obvious sign that you have had way to much to drink is when you get to the point that you not only can't get it up, but you really can't even remember what the hell "it" is!!!!
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The real truth, from a pervs perspective,
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May 14, 2012 7:14 pm
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I LOVE TO FUCK!!!!!!!!
I give you a few lines,
(from KORN's "A.D.I.D.A.S." )
I don't know your fucking name, so what, let's... (have sex)
Screaming to be the only way
that I can truly be free from my fucked up reality
So I dream and stroke it harder,
'cause it's so fun to see my face staring back at me
I don't know your fucking name, so what, let's fuck
All day I dream about sex
All day I dream about fucking
All day I dream about fucking
All day I dream about sex yes all day I dream about sex
And all day I dream about sex yes all day I dream about sex
And all day I dream about sex yes all day I dream about sex
And all day I dream about sex yes all day I dream about sex
(from KORN's "Freak on a leash" )
Sometimes I cannot take this place
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste
Sometimes I cannot feel my face
You'll never see me fall from grace
Something takes a part of me
You and I were meant to be
A cheap fuck for me to lay
Something takes a part of me
Feeling like a freak on a leash
(You wanna see the light)
Feeling like I have no release
(So do 
How many times have I felt diseased
(You wanna see the light)
Nothing in my life is free...is free
--------------------------------------------------------
I have within my lifetime lived many levels of life, and experienced just all about life has to offer. I have eaten of the forbidden fruit time, and time again. I have explored the possibilities of the flesh. I have lived the extreme. In doing so,
I have come to see what I regret most in life, what I seek more than anything. Let me tell you this,
You say you love,
you know not so,
the love you offer,
will never grow,
the life expectance,
so sad, so true,
the lies in time,
tell the truth in you,
the deepest fantasy
equals myth within,
the deepest possibility
versus what could have been
what could have been,
what could have been,
what could have been,
what could have been,
-----------------------------------------
what I seek has nothing to do with physical attraction, who you may be, or what you may offer. I care not for worldly matters. What draws me most, is not the fantasy you could physically fulfill, do not offer the "pretty words" for they are mostly in vain, give me the reality to make the following lyrics true,
HERE'S a challenge name the band and song from the following lyrics 
Do you recognize depth?
10) You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I want you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul
9) It's understood, I had to reach her
I let the wheel of fortune spin
I touched your hand before the crowd
Started rushin' in
Now I'm higher than a kite
I know I'm gettin' hooked on your love
Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat
Beggin' for your touch in the middle
Of the street and I --
 So long, I've been looking too hard, I've waiting too long
Sometimes I don't know what I will find
I only know it's a matter of time
When you love someone...When you love someone...
It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too
(Aaah-aaah) maybe I'm wrong
(Aaah-aaah) won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong?
(Aaah-aaah) this heart of mine has been hurt before
(Aaah-aaah) this time I wanna be sure
7) You see it all around you
Good lovin' gone bad
And usually it's too late when you
Realize what you had
And my mind goes back to a girl I met
Long years ago who told me,,,,,,,,
6)Lying beside you
Here in the dark
Feeling your heart with mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are
By my side
5) Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
4)I ride all alone and can't see
The road to nowhere anymore
And shadows whispers are calling me
To forbidden forests by the shore
And there she fell, deep in the night
One breath away from heavens light
And she said - don't cry for me I'm leaving you
The wind cries her name in the breeze
But I can't hold her anymore /no, no, no/
Some fallen angel had come to me
And fell too heavy on my soul
And stole from me the love that I heard
Lords of time say never die
And she sad - don't cry for me, because I'll be,,,,
3) But lovers always come
And lovers always go
And no one's really sure
Who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time
To lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
2) I say wait and show your lovin´ like it was before
cause I won't let that feelin walk out through the door
I say wait just a moment and try once more
cause babe I need to hold you like I did before
so if you go away I know that I will follow
cause there's a place inside my heart that tells me
hold out, hold out, hold out
######1)
So you think that it's over, say your love has finally reached the end
Any time you call, night or day, I'll be right there for you
If you need a friend
It's gonna take a little time, I know, time is sure to mend your broken heart
But don't you even worry, pretty darling, 'cos I know you'll find love again
Love is all around you, love is knockin' outside your door
Waitin' for you is this love made just for two
Keep an open heart and you'll find love again, I know,,,,,,,,
If you guessed them all, well then you really are seeking love, if you can't name them all, don't feel bad. What I really wanted to share with you is that each of these songs share a commonality with me. I long for the time that I meet someone that these lyrics go beyond a melody, and reach into the beyond.
What makes a great love song has nothing to do with the lyrics, music, or talent of the band. It's really who you share that experience with.
"Sitting on the dock of the bay" may bring many thoughts, but who wants to really sit on that dock alone?
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mothers day, remember when
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May 13, 2012 8:49 am
446 Views
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first I would like to wish a very happy mothers day to all of you mother's out there,
I remember my mother deeply today, I remember because this is the first time I can not say Happy Mothers day to her. I can only hope, and pray that in the past I shared with her how much she meant to me. How much I as a parent recognize even more all the sacrifices she gave for me over the years.
I hope it was enough, because now it's to late. I encourage you all to not waste what time you still have. Let this day not only recognize mothers, but honor them by remembering to always love and share that love with those close to you. If nothing else mother's have always lived the very definition of love.
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deeper thoughts,
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May 9, 2012 1:03 am
632 Views
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It doesn't happen often but nights like these sitting alone in the apartment listening to Ozzy Osbourne's "So tired" gets me to dreaming, and remembering, somewhere between the two is where I exist, so bare with me as I express,
darkest brings light,
and light may show,
the deepest emotion,
remains unknown,
we search for a love
a love once known,
a promise once heard,
a dream once shown
the river flows,
the wind may blow,
trees continue to grow,
yet that love remains unknown
Oh god how long?
how far into never?
a life unlived,
waiting for forever.
pain we all share,
the darkness embraced,
goes beyond our life,
the eternity faced,
stop and consider,
consider why?
why we pursue,
why we pursue the lie?
we keep on searching,
the pirate and the map,
a quest for love,
our deepest trap,
a vision in the horizon,
ripping realities seam,,
we may be forsaken,
never failing the dream,
never give up on the dream, even when reality says otherwise. You are accountable to no one but you. Never give up, and never give in. Life is not about what you have done, what you have experienced, how much you had, or how much you gained. Life is just this, "HAVE YOU LIVED"?
"I ANSWER TO NO MAN, BUT MYSELF"!!!!!!!!
I have to live with the consequences of my decisions, no one but me, so my opinion is what matters most to me. Each of you have to look yourself in the mirror each morning. This morning, this day, look closely at your image, are you happy with what you see? If you are then your kickin ass!!!!! If your not, perhaps it's time to see how you can change your perspective, fuck everyone else! Life is not about how others feel, it's about how you choose to live your life
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Dealing with reality, and the hard choices of life. this may be controversial,
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May 6, 2012 7:27 pm
760 Views
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It never ceases to amaze me that we often believe we know how we will act in certain circumstances, until we are actually faced with them.
I'm sitting here drinking a glass of red moscato with many things on my mind.
I have 3 children, all were planned, and to my knowledge there are no unknown kids out there 
I always believed, that if I did get someone pregnant I would marry them, I mean I totally believe in accepting responsibility for my actions. I really thought that is exactly what I would do,,,,,,,
However this has been an incredibly stressful weekend for me. My 17 year old daughter is pregnant, she graduates from high school this month. The father graduates from high school in 2 years. Both have full scholarships to college, they both are scheduled to start next year, he will go half a day to high school and half a day to college, when he graduates from high school he'll also graduate from college, and already has a job waiting for him in the park service. A very good paying job. She begins her pre reqs and onto the RN program, within 3 to 4 years they both will have high paying jobs that cost them nothing for college.
The "right" thing to do would be for them to get married now, but they have nothing at all right now, one will graduate high school, the other will not.
Considering all of the possibilities I encouraged them to wait until they're both out of college to marry. They are both very young, and so many things can go wrong. I do not believe 2 people should get married for any reason other than real love, and a real commitment to making a marriage work.
I know my daughter would have a hard time going to college full time, raising a baby full time, and trying to work full time. So I will make sure she has the funds to make it. I absolutely refuse to allow this to derail her, not when I am capable of preventing it. I will also admit that long ago I made a promise to a woman I loved with everything in me, that is one promise I have always maintained and would die before I broke,
As I told my daughter, (thank god, neither had even thought of an abortion, if your pro abortion, ya might not like this, but this isn't about you)
I told her I love you dearly and there is never anything you could ever do that would disappoint me, you are the one thing I can always look to and know without a doubt that I got one thing completely right in my whole life. More than that, your mother makes up half of your genetics, through you she truly lives on, and inside you right now is a baby that continues to allow her to truly live on. In a weird kinda way when I help you, I help to maintain what is left of her on this earth. No one can offer the world what you can, because only you can continue her lineage. I look at you and I see her in so many ways, not just your physical appearance, but in characteristical movements (Do you remember "Forrest Gump"? remember when he's sitting next to his son, and they both cock their heads to the side watching T.V.? ) exactly, my daughter rubs her hands together when she's nervous, something we used to tease her mother about doing.
It's rather ironic, FUCK!!! I hate how the damn word "ironic" seems to chase me around throughout my damn life!!!!!!! I am so gonna do "an ironic post" someday I shit you not!!!!!
At any rate my oldest sister graduated at 6 months, and my dad forced them to get married. They made it all the way until he died, but I watched, and I saw perhaps what others in the family refused to see. I saw how miserable they both were.
I refuse to take a chance that my daughter will experience that kind of marriage. I also realize that I have many emotions from her mothers death that have never been dealt with. It's never more clear to me then when I try to talk to my daughter about her mother and the tears are instantaneous. I just do not seem to have any control over them under certain circumstances.
To truly understand this, you would have to realize that I see crying as not only a weakness, but a wasted human emotion, because it solves nothing. Any tears I shed is immediately followed by a profound sense of shame, or at least a uncomfortable feeling. It's simply something I do not know how to handle.
Sorry, stepping off memory lane, and the tears are wiped away, so 
I'll get back to the point here.
For now amazingly his entire family is in complete agreement with me. I really thought I was gonna have to argue with them about this.
For now my daughter, and her boyfriend or agreeing with me as well. Did I make the right choice? Who the hell knows?
All I know is what I told them, if your love is true, it'll be just as strong 3 or 4 years from now as it is today. The difference will be that you will have a true chance at building not only a family, but a good life together.
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Goodbye to romance, when your groove runs deep
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May 4, 2012 5:40 pm
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Today has been very unusual for me on many levels. I suppose for the 1st time in my entire life, I really feel my age. I am so damn tired, I think that before I was always so damn busy taking care of this, or taking care of that, making sure everything was covered, that I never really realized how damn tired I was, until something happened that caused me to completely drop every fucking thing else.
I started listening to Ozzy tonight, and I realized how much I understood more of his songs now then I did way the hell back then.
I encourage you to listen to "goodbye to romance" on U tube, maybe you'll understand, or even "so tired" again by Ozzy,
So the whole dark evening got me right into full on blues mode
what are your "top 10 love gone wrong, or dark life" songs"?
these are mine,
1. Goodbye to romance - Ozzy
2. Unforgiven - (1-2- or 3) Metallica
3. Love song - Tesla
4. Mr. Rainmaker - Warrant
5. wait - white lion
6. The dock of the bay - Otis Redding
7. what a wonderful world - Louis Armstrong
8. Dream a little dream - (the mama's and papa's version)
9. Straight Tequila night - John Anderson
10. to reach this one I tried to look up something that I connected with, but in the end I realized I really can't forsake me to fulfill you, so go way deep, within that really deep depth, I give you,
"the closer you get" - Alabama
So what songs really touch you deeply? I'm not talking about songs you may want to crank the fuck up. I'm talking about the songs that leave you wanting more when you hear them,.
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what really matters,
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May 4, 2012 12:53 am
880 Views
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Life goes on,
rather you chose to act or not really doesn't matter, life will continue on, an you will be forced to deal with it rather you want to or not.
"God" is not impressed by your opinion, nor does he really care about how you feel with any specific situation.
Life is like a automated assembly line, in which you work, but your not really needed because with or without your participation the assembly line will produce a product. In the end you are only as significant as you make yourself,
I have spent the last 17 years trying to raise the greatest woman the world will ever know, God took over many times where I failed, as of right now? I am about to become a grandpa,
It's a thought that I admit, I shove to the back ground. My immediate thoughts are linked in this simple list of must do's,
1. Help her get through college
2. Do not kill the father (This will not change anything)
3. Make sure he graduates high school
I admit I totally did not expect the txt's I got tonight, I was blindsided, for now I just dropped everything because nothing else matters. I will be driving to Arkansas this weekend to talk with my daughter, and try to come up with some kind of plan to deal with our new found reality.
There's no doubt in my mind that we will find a way to deal with this, we have always been good at handling anything life threw our way. To me the most amazing thing is that she was mostly concerned with the idea that I would be disappointed in her, one more thing for me to make sure that she understands I could never be disappointed in her. She has shown me time, and time again how incredible the human spirit truly can be.
I have been blessed in so many ways, I have been able to watch my little princess grow into an incredible woman, and start to become a mother, (I'm going to be a "papa") WOW!!!
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Are you hardcore enough to survive living?
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Apr 29, 2012 4:28 pm
1069 Views
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This is part 3 to,
the face of god, a truth you will rarely hear
and
Have you suffered? Welcome to earth, 3rd rock from the sun
I often hear people at work bitching about their life, and things that are going wrong. I tell them they have it completely bass ackwards. In fact I wake up each day expecting everything to be completely fucked up! So when something goes right, I am pleasantly surprised
The same with being sick, you hear so many people calling off work due to illness, or complaining because they feel so sick. Again I say, you obviously spend to much time feeling well, if you were fucked up all the time you would no longer realize it, and accept it as a normal part of life at your age.
I will again speak of reality, guess what? Here my friends is a for sure universal truth, regardless of race, culture, economy, or environment. Do you know that we all have one common commonality? Here it is,
LIFE IS FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!
There are many ways we can face our reality, but in the end we all live with stress. Perhaps on different levels, and different effects. There is no such thing as a perfect life, in fact that idea may be the greatest illusion ever created by the human race.
Once you finally come to understand that life is fucked up, then you may be able to go one step further and realize that life is equally fucked up for everyone, yes even Bill Gate's life is fucked up on some level to him.
If you ever get to the point that you can understand that life is equally fucked up for you, Bill Gate's, and even Donald Trump then we may finally reach true humanity.
A brotherhood of man,
The clearest definition of a kindred spirit,
yin and yang,
Equilibrium,
The closest we got was in the 70's we refer to them as hippies, or flower children. I see them as the first generation to come close to understanding a universal wisdom,
think about the lyrics from a few songs from that era,
"Get together" from the "Youngbloods"
If you hear the song I sing
you will understand...listen
You hold the key to love and fear
all in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
Its there at your command
*Come on people now
smile on your brother
Everybody get together
try to love one another right now
***************************************************
"Time of the Season" from the "Zombies"
Has he taken
(Has he taken)
Any time
(Any time to show)
To show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly
Tell you what?
I really want to know
It's the time of the season for loving
***************************************************
I could list many more songs, but I think you get the idea. I am watching Forrest Gump as I write this. He was a simple man, with a simple mind. However he obtained a far deeper understanding of life than many of us ever will. Watch it again, watch how he related to those he loved. Yes he had a simple mind, but he also had a pure heart, a innocent love, always willing to sacrifice self for the fate of others.
I do not know how to express this more, you will never know a deeper love, until you let go of self for the sake of another. It's in the ultimate release that we gain the most.
Life is hard, not just for you, but for everyone. If you can't understand that, then you will never truly live.
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Have you suffered? Welcome to earth, 3rd rock from the sun
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Apr 28, 2012 11:54 pm
1161 Views
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This is part 2 to,
the face of god, a truth you will rarely hear
Have you ever found that you get to the point that you have multiple ideas for posts that actually relate to each other with so many branches that it's like a forest of possibilities inerlinking creating the canopy we think of from a rain forest?
Life is hard, but few of us ever really understand that. Part of that is because we were taught to expect better, we were taught to reach for more, that is if we were lucky enough to have good parents. I had a great childhood, but I have tried to show my children a truer view of reality.
Here is the clincher people, unless you know the will of god in your life, then you can not rely on god.
It's okay, take a deep breath, thunder bolts are not going to fall down on you, nor will the sky fall. He knows that I speak the truth, in this life you can not rely on anyone but yourself, God does not exist to make your life better. He created you, and all of us for his own needs. Do you really understand that?
Think about this a minute, none of us could be god, however let's put this into a possible perspective. Let's say you created a painting, and in loving that painting you created a perfect environment for it to be preserved. Great lighting, and a humidified room at best. Now that you created the painting how far would you go to preserve it? The painting is only one small reflection of you. Eventually age, and the environment will deteriorate the painting regardless of what you may do to prevent it. Do you exist to keep the painting intact, or does the painting exist to keep you intact?
Some of my thoughts may be simple, I am and always will be just a good'ol country boy, some of my thoughts may be simple, I think what religion really comes down to is you! God wants us to believe in him, he wants us to love him, but much like a parent he expects us to make a way for ourselves, as a simple country boy I often recall the chorus to one of my favorite songs.
No it isn't Kid Rock, nor is it Metallica, It's actually Hank Williams Jr, from "The Ride"
the chorus goes,
He said "Drifter can you make folks cry when you play and sing,
Have you paid your dues, can you moan the blues,
Can you bend them guitar strings?
He said "Boy can you make folks feel what you feel inside,
'cause if your big star bound let me warn ya it's a long hard ride."
"""Can you make folks feel what you feel inside?""""""
and from Garth Brooks, again one of my favs
"friends in low places",
here's the chorus
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places
Let me tell ya, god, grace, and forgiveness have their place but nowhere will ever be more complete than being down home.
I'll get into this next,
for now all I can say is, are you suffering, no offense, but welcome to reality where have you been all this time?
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the face of god, a truth you will rarely hear
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Apr 27, 2012 6:21 pm
1248 Views
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I have studied the world religions deeply. I have read the Koran, the Torah, The Bible, and the dead sea scrolls. I studied Hinduism, Buddhism, and many other cultural religions including voodoo.
I am actually a ordained reverend, no I do not preach, nor do I preside over a church. I can however marry a couple almost anywhere, I suppose there are a few countries left that will not recognize christianity.
At any rate, what I would like to discuss is the reality of religion. As with so many things in life, the truth has somehow gotten lost between translation, and myth. I am trying to think of how to say this without completely traumatizing some of the christians.
I suppose I am a reverend like few you will ever meet. As I have often said I am a realist, On many levels and in many ways people may never know how much I understand about the world around me. I just tend to pay attention, and see the reality that lies just beneath each myth.
I do believe that Jesus is the way, the light, and the truth. However, Somewhere along the line christianity deviated from the path of true into a "feel good" religion. One that promised answers to all prayers, and a wonderful life for all followers.
What a load of crap, to this I would like you all to recall the words of Jesus, and think about it. Do you recall Jesus living a luxurious life? No! in fact his words were clear, he said you will suffer, you will face tribulation, you will be persecuted because of him.
Show me anywhere in the bible where god, or Jesus offers you "the good life". They don't, are you familiar with Job? Job loved god, he prayed constantly and yet, he lost his land, his possessions, his children died, his health failed, all the time he never ceased praying or believing in God, and yet his loss remained the same. Does that sound like luxury?
God is not a god of hopeful dreams, he doesn't exist to make your world better. In fact not one person has ever cried out to God, when things were going well. It's only when they are broken that they reach with faith to find a cure beyond their own abilities.
However, God expects you to use the abilities he has already given you to help yourself, just like a true father he is not here to carry you. He's here to help you up when you fall. This only occurs once you have accepted him. Until that moment, until you accept him, his goal is to break you.
As long as you are willing to listen to me, or read it
I will talk more about God, you really have been force fed a lot of crap by the worlds religions. Yes faith can move a mountain, however you could have the faith of Job, and that mountain remain unchanged, because it wasn't in line with the will of God.
I have heard many times, many people ask,
"Why does God allow suffering"?
I will tell you the real truth, rather you can handle it or not. He allows suffering, because there is no other way to break you. Instead of asking yourself why he allows suffering, ask yourself why Jesus had to suffer.
I am sorry about the length, but I am trying to explain a topic that even the bible has 66 books between the old testament and new to explain. I can only condense so much
You will never understand, or know God until you first experience, recognize, and understand suffering.
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fantasy vs reality part 2, chasing that ultimate moment
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Apr 25, 2012 7:17 pm
1315 Views
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This is part 2 to,
fantasy vs reality part 1 , what dreams may come
I often ask myself if others really understand what matters the most in life, many would give many answers here, but do they really understand what really matters in life? Please do not get me wrong here, I love my children deeply, they are among the most important things in life to me.
However, someday they will grow beyond the need of me, they will grow into their own lives, and may even begin asking themselves these same questions. Life on so many levels is a never ending circle.
MY point is that even though I love my children as I do, there will come a time that I must invest in me, there will come a day when my kids no longer need me. I sincerely hope that day will come, not that I ever want to see that day, but that day is the goal I have set for myself as their parent. My goal is not for them to always depend on me, but to someday become independent.
When the day comes that they no longer need me, that is the day that I finally realize that I have succeeded in achieving one of my ultimate goals.
That being said, I know my ultimate high, and my ultimate goal. I want you to stop and think about this a moment, have you ever touched someone for more than just sex?
I think each high school has it's own chant, but I sincerely believe that my high school chant never fit better than now LOL
Sex is fun,
sex is great,
where the class,
of 88!
However I am not 18 years old anymore, I am not the man I used to be, nor am I quit the man I hope to become. I think we all, when truly honest with self will admit we are almost who we hope to become.
I didn't think I would ever do this, but think biblically, "all fall short of the glory of god",
I think that in my next post I will finally address the subject of god, not from a christian view, nor a atheist's view. Simply from a realistic reality.
So let's talk about reality, many say, and I agree that reality is a mother fucker!!!!
If all you are really looking for is sex, then you will never really understand this, however rather you are single, or married you may. Sex is easy to find, if you know
how to look,
where to look,
and how to act in any scenario,
sex is as easy as ABC=you having it
however for those I guess few that search for more, being able to do it simply isn't enough, we long for more, we refuse to settle for the flesh, we want that certain connection, a connection that can only exist in someone we meet that could lay in a field of dandelions with us, that would take the time to create snow angels, that reach deep within us, not just us within them, or them within us physically, but those that have reached deeply mentally as well as physically.
What we really seek is that feeling we all feel when someone that we are truly attracted to touches us intimately, can you recall that feeling? Do you understand the truest definition of intensity?
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fantasy vs reality part 1 , what dreams may come
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Apr 24, 2012 5:31 pm
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we all dream a dream, one of my favorite songs is "Dream a Little Dream of me" I prefer the version by "The Mamas, And The Papas" look it up on Utube It always made me think of laying in the grass next to a lover.
Both of us watching the clouds, and seeing different shapes, perhaps even sharing a interaction between the shape I see and the shape you see, and what they might be doing.
Both of us laying on the ground watching grasshoppers dance, both of us picking a dandelion and blowing it at each other watching the small white particles float around us, and settle within a dream of reality, a reality shared which makes the moment so much richer.
Both of us watching the stars looking for constellations, amazed by the occasional shooting star, making a wish, each of us to self but including both.
Both of us laying on the ground watching the snowflakes fall, laughing at the angels we created, one wing lopsided because I initially didn't reach all the way above my head 
Both of us laying on the ground, suddenly realizing that life is a cycle, yesterdays winter flows into the bud of flowers we are looking at, life begins, and life ends. Looking into each others eyes we realize that we hold within each other that same possibility. We both, combined can complete the circle of life.
Sometimes these smallest, most truly intimate moments can almost take on a life of their own, it is so easy to loose sight of our reality and slip into the possible fantasy that for many of us reality and dream merge. We become disillusioned in search of the deeper calling.
Have you ever felt the possibility of a dreamed fantasy so strongly that you had to stop on waking to remember what really happened vs what you dreamed happened?
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Extreme SEX!!! Welcome to The se-X GAMES!!!!!
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Apr 22, 2012 1:55 am
1647 Views
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I've been thinking about sex, imagine that
I recall a song from KORN
A.D.I.D.A.S.
All Day long I Dream About Sex 
At any rate, I recently dated a young lady from here that had a profile which stated she was looking for sex, and whoever she decided to see had to be ready on short notice within 24 hours of notification, etc, etc, etc
I went to a club with her, ordered margarita's she was wearing a cocktail dress and was frigid from the beginning, I suppose I should have thought to make sure the margarita's were on the rocks, and not frozen, it really didn't help her frigid state at all
At any rate this, and several other things have got me to thinking about extreme sex, and boundaries.
We all have boundaries, but I think the word "boundaries" just like "fagot" has gotten a negative association.
Did you know that a "fagot" is technically defined as a "bundle of sticks"?
at any rate we all really do have boundaries, we may say we are looking for sex, but if all we are looking for is sex, how far do we really have to look to find it? We say we are looking for sex, but we first have to meet, and if there's a connection we can go from there, okay how does one equate one with the other? I mean whatever you need to decide in a meet is the very boundaries you live within.
In my perverted mind, if all you are looking for is just sex, then I have a solution, a very simple solution. Now I will not participate, but here you go,
FOR ALL OF YOU, JUST LOOKING FOR SEX!!!!!!
I give you blackened, that's right at your next swinger meet, or blogger meet offer a "black room"!
Basically you go into a dressing room, and remove all your clothing and then enter a completely dark room where everyone else is also just wanting to have sex, in this black room, you will have sex, but when you come out of the exit you wont know who actually fucked you. Being a black room, you'll just have to trust that whoever the hell they were, actually wore a condom, but hey you did have sex right? DAMN!! quit bitchin!!!
Now for anyone that would never do this, welcome to the reality that you have boundaries. There's nothing wrong with having them, but how can you possibly be honest with someone else if you are not first, honest with your self?
As I said I wouldn't participate, but if you have "no boundaries" then there ya go, have at it
So what extreme sex game could you think of? How would you challenge others to push their boundaries?
If all you are looking for is sex, then why a first meet? You either have boundaries, or you are the free spirit you proclaim yourself to be
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