I really miss what we had.  

foghorn49 59M
25 posts
7/28/2006 8:35 am

Last Read:
7/28/2006 8:43 am

I really miss what we had.

I got a phone call yesterday from my friend in Texas. Amanda and I have been pen pals for going on 3 years now. Lately we have really neglected our friendship. I say we, because we both have. I receive no letters from her and I have sent her none lately. I really feel bad about that.

Amanda and I were crazy about each other right off the bat. We were really hot for each other. We always talked of what it would be like when we finally meet in person. Even had a little cyber session about it. Over time a true friendship started. We were still hot for each other, but we realized that we would probably never meet. Still it was more than physically wanting each other, I liked her. Hell, I though was in love for a while.

This went on for about a year. We even talked of meeting in Little Rock. (It’s the half waypoint between us). We both knew it would never happen but it was fun talking about it. We would always just talk about WHEN we would do this or WHEN this happens. After a while the sexual teases slowed down and came to a stopped. Now we were just friends. When I had problems, I could always talk to her. When her and her husband almost divorced I was there for her, and actually help them work through it. He wrote me a nice letter thanking me. She is a great friend. She knows more about me than my wife does.

After a couple years our letters got blander, the time we spent in IM stated to fall off. Now it’s more like once a month at best. Amanda is still special to me and I want to know what is going on in her life, but it’s not the same. What happened?

Were we just fooling ourselves? Was one of us just playing the other? (this I won’t believe). Is this normal for cyber relationships? Why was the woman that I couldn’t wait to spend 10 minutes on line with now just Amanda? Is it because we took sex out of the equation? When she called yesterday we only talked for about 20 minutes. In the past we would have hung on the phone for hours. I think that we both know that our friendship has run it course and is winding down. Why?

Have you ever had an Internet relationship like this? Do you still? Are they all doomed in the end? Do men and women need to have physical contact, [maybe not sex] or at lease be face to face to stay friends? Maybe it is just us, or the way we started. Maybe, because we are both married and have other commitments. I wish I had some answers.
All I know is, what we once had is gone, and I miss it.

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