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ArgosPlumyKooky 45F
3902 posts
6/19/2006 9:31 pm

my opinion: we are not wired to be faithful

volcanoinu23 52M

6/19/2006 10:45 pm

hmmm, I would like to think that it is better than just animal sex, but there is something about finding that the way a woman does things different that makes all the difference. It is the excitement of experiencing something new. It is a combination of sex and pleasure.

florallei replies on 6/19/2006 10:55 pm:
Hi Volcano,

For most of us sex is pleasurable...some become insatiable and never quite being ever satisfied and always wanting becomes addictive and eventually though sex and pleasure looses it's appeal, it's glamour and becomes mundane. I understand what you are saying.


florallei 99F

6/19/2006 10:46 pm

TY Snatch,

I appreciate your comments and your opinion...I do believe we are wired to be faithful. It is what man has always sought love and share his life with a beloved but along the way the primary wiring has been corroded therefore it seems like we are wired to be unfaithful.


intenseureyes 52M/48F
224 posts
6/20/2006 7:51 am

A few questions for you..

Why would humans been any different from any other mammal?

Do you think because we have a higher level of thought we should be "better" than every other creature?

What about the millions of humans on this earth that do not practice monogamy? What is it that they know and we westerners don't?

Honestly, there are tons of reasons why people "cheat".. Those 4 don't even come close to scratching the surface. Some reading for you..

the female half of intense.......

florallei replies on 6/20/2006 9:27 am:
Hello Intense,

Great comment and the questions you posed are very good. I do not mean to simplify nor judge why people cheat for that would be hypocritical. After all I am on this site (AdultFriendFinder). Even my profile shows that I am not excluding married men to respond.
My father's side of the family all had mistresses (common among the wealthy Spaniards) and my mother's side were very judgemental about adultery on moral grounds.
Scientist have tried to delve and examine and give their answers why we human beings seek out other partners...they are not judging. They have merely gathered their data and findings and try to explain.
I am for my part comes from views that I was raised in and be it religious or cultural, I have discovered or noticed that the things I wrote seems to be a recurring theme as to why some cheat and why some don't.
I wish we lived closeby. I like your forthrightness and honesty and the way you think. Thank you again for your visit.

funintheday2006 56M
9659 posts
6/20/2006 8:03 am

Im not sure about the wiring, just think more communication would stop a lot of niggles becoming problems. Monogamy is right for some but not for others. Communicate, be honest and move on if you have to, without hurting anyone else. Just my 2c.

florallei 99F

6/20/2006 9:33 am

Hello Fun,

I have always agreed with your opinion and wrote about it here that no matter what type of relationship one has "communication" is a key factor.
I also agree that for some monogamy suits them fine and I do not judge their lifestyle.
I love writing about this because it really stirs people up. I want to hear their thoughts. After all I am a student of life and love to learn always.
Thank you and Hugs,

westhill2006 53M

6/20/2006 11:42 am

The quest to find true love...

florallei 99F

6/20/2006 12:00 pm

Hello K

To find someone to connect with our heart, soul, spirit and mind is a "rare" gift but when one finally does, life becomes even more beautiful.


rm_Anothermwf 105F

6/20/2006 7:41 pm

To feel wanted again, to be desired again and the thrill of it!

florallei replies on 6/20/2006 8:57 pm:
Hello Anothermwf,

It does give us a euphoric feeling doesn't it! TY for your visit and comment.

Hugs, Florallei

elysianpleasure 47M

6/20/2006 9:14 pm

Interesting post... I am not sure I agree. Yes all of these elments were present in wanting to be with someone else... but I think it all starts or at least started for me with the marriage. The things that drove me to be lonely, for communications to break down, for the sexual needs not to be filled... the affair was not the problem... but the symptom. I don't say that makes it justified... but I think the motivations may be far simpler... or is that more complex... lol


florallei replies on 6/20/2006 9:23 pm:
TY Elysian,

Communication or lack thereof destroys relationships and when that is problem how can we know what our partners are thinking of, dreaming of, goals, desires etc. this leads to pulling away physically...intimacy soon is lacking...we are all complex and when two people aren't together with the same can't work...
I know my post is a small piece of a larger picture. I do not claim to be an expert but merely an observation throughout the decades.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
6/21/2006 7:06 am

i'm married my best friend and in so many ways he still is,but i need more than he can give so i go else where for it,before doing so i tried and communicated till i was blue in the face with no luck into him changeing a little,so i now play ,not often but its fun ,exciteing and more important makes me feel as if i'm living again

I'm a

i'm here to stay

florallei replies on 6/21/2006 8:05 am:
Hello Papyrina,

Such wonderful honesty and I too understand and know what you are saying...the feeling of being alive and what we humans crave.

TY Hugs,

florallei replies on 6/21/2006 8:05 am:
Hello Papyrina,

Such wonderful honesty and I too understand and know what you are saying...the feeling of being alive and what we humans crave.

TY Hugs,

intenseureyes 52M/48F
224 posts
6/21/2006 7:24 am


That's it exactly! It's a symptom NOT a cause.. Simply because if the marriage is a happy one why would someone else look better?? Affairs happen because something is lacking and it's human nature to have basic needs met..

And those who say it's the easy way out haven't got a clue.. There is nothing easy about lying to someone you care about and nothing easy about going against what society says is right.. and nothing easy AT all about trying to juggle two lives just so simple, basic needs are met..

I know someone eventually will bring up why not just leave the marriage?? Because it's NOT that simple... Most times the marriage is good enough to stay in but NOT good enough to satisfy... children, jobs, family, responsiblities all are factors. But trust me, IF the marriage is bad enough there is nothing on God's green earth that will keep someone in it..

OK.. off my soap box now... LOL

florallei replies on 6/21/2006 8:12 am:
TY Hun,

Your comment came from your heart and with such passion. It is NOT that many factors to consider...I am so glad that so many are commenting on this post. I respect your comment and wish you happiness.
I joined this site terrified of being judged...what I am finding is quite the opposite...most are REAL people who just want to seek some fullfilment that are not being met. I am one of them. TY both for your visits.


007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
6/21/2006 3:41 pm

I am going to have to say I agree with Papy on this one. I feel exactly the same way she said. That is why I have cheated. If my spouse was more open to new Ideas he would know my every move and I would not have to hide this side of me. But I have tried to be open and all it got me was "spied" on, and ridiculed like I am a child. He said I am married and that should be enough. Marriage should mean a happy life, not a death sentence. If we knew our marriages would turn bad, we would not do it.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

florallei 99F

6/22/2006 5:48 pm

Hello 007sexy,

Yes if we had the hindsight most couples would not have walked down the is frustrating and painful to be with a partner who does not listen with their heart and mind and who uses our concern to belittle disappears then respect follows then love and we know how it finally ends...


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