Stuck in a rut  

flagg134 36M
1430 posts
4/20/2006 3:35 pm

Last Read:
4/29/2014 10:35 am

Stuck in a rut

I find myself running in circles getting nowhere as usual. My own life lately has been a mess. I'm falling behind in work due to lack of sleep and motivation. I've lost any chance of moving further up due to a fairly recent supervisor change. I had considerable good rapport with my old boss this guy just hates my guts. Its caused me to lose motivation and I'm leaning towards starting a job search.

Meanwhile most of my time has been spent worrying about others problems. My free time has been eaten dealing with a lot of their problems from switching working days to be able from testify in child custody hearings to lending my ear and advice to my best friend. Also I'm loaning money left and right I know they are good for it but it does put a strain on me. I know this might sound cruel but its not my responsibility to cover for them. Theres no time to take care of #1 and that has to change.

Other friends of mine enjoy success which I am happy for. Its the little enjoyment that I have been getting these days to see other people happy. The only bright spots in my days lately have been chatting with someone and seeing friends of mine doing better.

Ok well maybe I get some warped sense of satisfaction out of seeing some people fall on their face sometimes as well. So sue me!!

I need to figure out for myself though what it is that I want. As I have no clue never did no ambition here no dream job I want. No desire for a strong relationship at the time. Nothing I want to see or do. I almost envy greedy or selfish people at least they have a driving force behind them a goal. I need to find something to strive for. Maybe I should start with some sanity. This sleeplessness is driving me batty.

Excuse my little rant


singleagain53578 46F

4/20/2006 7:17 pm

Go ahead, want away. It is your blog after all. It is very hard borrowing money to friends. That is one lesson I have learned the hard way. Do not borrow them money, do not ask them for money. Listen to that rule and you will be just fine.

I am sorry you are having a rough time in your life right now. You are young yet, so you have plenty of time to figure out exactly what your goals are. (like you haven't heard that before, huh?) Summer is here. Take that time to find yourself and do what it is that truly makes YOU happy, not others!

Blog us your findings!


flagg134 36M
1582 posts
4/20/2006 9:16 pm

I know its my blog just don't think ranting is to productive here. I've lost my outlets to do so in my outside life so i figured here is as good a place as any. I shouldn't burden others with what goes on in my mind though.

As for me being young that could be said as true most though know what they want at some point. I'm always stuck in flux without direction theres not much I aspire to. I know that sounds kind of weird but its the case. I've been searching for that reason all my life I latch onto something for a while but I tire of it.

Lending the money like I said my friends are good for it and in the largest case it was an emergency. In others it was just pocket change no biggie or rush to get it back. My friends to me are like family as I do not get along to well with my own.

I'll be fine everyone goes thru there problems. I'm just a little lost at the moment letting things affect me to much. Something bigger than all this is whats getting to me and causing the lack of sleep.


gypsy1629 41F

4/20/2006 9:45 pm

Everyone goes through "funk" states...they seem big and stressful and blah at the time...but hopefully soon things will look up for you...I am in a doozy of one now going on 13 days and 20 hours (not counting?)but I know sooner or later I will snap out of it (maybe a new man) or (sex)I hate break ups...thats why I always do long term relationships...they just never seem to go as long as I want them...but this one was my longest....7 it hurts...anyhow nuff bout me....I hope you do start to feel better and actually get some try some of those over the counter sleep aids? You will find your niche in this big bad world sooner or later and when you do you will go at it wholeheartedly....


nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
4/20/2006 9:45 pm

Im right there with ya bro ....I feel the same way...and when you do start to work towards something there is always something that gets in you path at THAT exact moment when you're trying to accompolish something for dont it..

header1979 37M
507 posts
4/20/2006 9:55 pm

Life has it ups and downs. The loss of sleep will get you. That is the most important thing. You will not be tired but sleep deprivation can run your immune system down, cause depression, and cause emotional swings. Get some sleep, then you will be in a better position to deal with the other issues. I learned that from having to deal with the loss of my wife. If you can stay healthy in mind and body, then you can deal with some of the worst things. The doctor has spoken lol

"Life is difficult." - the first sentence of The Road Less Traveled by M Scott Peck. It is a good read if you have not read it yet.

phoenix639 49F

4/20/2006 11:30 pm

I know youre young in your years but i also know youre much older & wiser than your years too.

Right now youre just on lifes roundabout & unsure which route to drive down as each road looks the same. I too get like that at times, wondering the reason for our being here. I know my circumstances are very different because i have J.

You need the vacation earlier than planned dont you, is there any way you can bring it forward at all?

The sleep thing is a massive problem i know & its been going on for some time now too. Recall what i suggested for that sleep deprivation? The 'reading a certain thing' miracle cure lol.

You strike me as a little bit lost, but you know that can also have a positive affect because if youre going around in circles it means you are not going backwards & can only go forwards.

Remember though you DO have friends you can lean, some friends shoulders are bigger than you perceive.

flagg134 36M
1582 posts
4/21/2006 3:15 pm

Thanks all for the support its mainly a lack of sleep combined with petty problems getting me down. Once get past that which I should considering the weekend off I should feel a hell of alot better.

Gypsy I know all to well what it feels like to end a long relationship. In a way I'm still recovering from that I will though and sleep will come in time eventually I will just exhaust myself.

Nightstalker thats how it is going for me lately I'm stuck running around alot lately just to stay even with myself. Its just been one of those periods we all go through.

Header I know the major problem is sleep my lack of it over the past few weeks has been appalling. I'm not tired from it but irritable and irrational character traits I usually don't have.

Phoenix many think me wise I tend to disagree I just have some common sense lack of sleep can make me foolish and irritable. Theres no way to change my vacation as my boss is a complete hardass and would think me running from the company. I know I have friends to lean on I don't like to though as my pride tends to prevent me from doing so. Instead I rant it makes me feel a little better to just get it out sometimes. I'll find my way eventually theres a clearing at the end of any path.

LS I'm sorry to hear you are in a rut as well. You strike me as a strong wise and level headed woman. I'm sure you will work your way through it just fine. Hard to believe you living without a purpose. I guess sometimes we think we want something and then when we get it we aren't satisfied. Strange how it works that way.


Hippink 35F
4499 posts
4/21/2006 6:53 pm

RUTS SUCK! I know, cuz I'm almost always stuck in one.
It's amazing just how much a lack of sleep can affect you. It makes you melancholy, depressed, even. Everything starts to seem a bit hopeless and and you lose all drive to succeed. I've noticed my sex drive goes down to nothing at all when I'm like this.

When you start getting good night's sleeps again, you'll notice a dramatic improvement. Just get some excercise, wear yourself out, do soemthing that makes you happy, go to bed with a bit of elation at doing something healthy for yourself. if that isn't enough, I have tried herbal sleeping pills... they sorta work, but not really. So, I tried an over-the counter sleep aid. Just one pill, and I was out. It doesn't always work if I have something nagging in my brain, but it usually does.

You'll sleep better. Hopefully, even the next day, you'll notice a dramatic improvement. The trick now is to keep it going.

I find my biggest problem is I always stay up too late on AdultFriendFinder.
Sad, but true.
Good luck, feel better!
And I'll try to take my own advice as well!
Hippie XXX

rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
4/23/2006 1:33 pm

It is hard to do much of anything when sleep deprived..
get some rest, and all will be better

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

jamherwithmycock 43M/36F
68 posts
4/28/2006 10:21 am

here something for you....
I'll be happy when...
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges........
Want to read the rest? check it out in my blog.....

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