fail safe secret to maintaining long term relationships.  

five_speed 41M
3250 posts
7/21/2005 5:54 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

fail safe secret to maintaining long term relationships.


The following post was inspired by talldarkavg1:

My mother and father celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary last month. At one point when he and I were alone together, I asked him the secret, how did he and mom keep it together for 35 years? He looked around to make sure no one was near.

Then he looked me square in the eyes and said "sicko-macho bondage sex!"

Instantly grossed out at the sudden thought of my 60 year old mother in a dominatrix outfit and dad on his hands and knees with a ball gag in his mouth and hook in his ass, I said "Aw Jesus, dad. I was being serious."

He said "me too. Check this out." Then he lifted the back of his mullet off of the nape of his neck. Dreading the absolute worst, I leaned over and looked. There I beheld a metal ring with a pull string attached to it.

"Pull it" dad said. I did. As the string wound back into his neck, in the most apologetic voice I had ever heard him use, he said "I'm sorry, dear."

Back in his normal voice, he said "pull it again." I did. In the same sappy voice he said "It's my fault."

I sat back and looked at him in awe. As understanding settled in my mind, I remembered what he has said at first. I said "wait a minute. What does that have to do with bondage sex?"

He said "the crazy bitch waited until she had me tied down good, and then she got an exacto knife and a pair of needle nose pliers and installed that. Ever since then, if she says she feels like tying me up, I know she's just tired of hearing the same old excuses, and it's time to change them."

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
7/21/2005 8:25 pm

ROFLMAO

WyvernRose


Ana_6973 43F

7/21/2005 9:38 pm

You're twisted! Lmao! I love it.

~~"I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence."~~


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/22/2005 9:38 am

I inspired you to make fun of your parents and their sex life??

(wiping eyes) I'm so proud!

[blog talldarkavg1]


five_speed 41M

7/22/2005 12:23 pm

I have to make fun of my parents. It's only fair after the way they used to laugh and make fun of me when I'd try to chew my own foot off to get loose from the chain. I know it was all in good fun at the time, and I sure do miss those days, but now it's my turn to point fingers at them. HA! HA!


DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/19/2005 8:15 pm

lmao babe. I need to talk to your Mom...


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