deleted poem 12  

five_speed 41M
3250 posts
9/11/2005 1:39 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

deleted poem 12


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five_speed 41M

9/11/2005 1:40 am

I saw the entire thing from start to finish in the auditorium at the school where I worked, projected on the big screen from the cable tv feed. Seemingly large as life, I watched every single second. The second impact. The collapse. The second collapse. Too big, too loud, too real.

I thought back to when I was a boy, at the auto-parts store where dad and I paused to listen to the Challenger launch on the old radio. I still remember that day, and as I watched the utter chaos unfold on that movie screen, I realized it was the same kind of day, but so much worse.

I didn’t eat. I didn’t work. I skipped my classes. I cried, paced, screamed and stood still, struck dumb and mute in terrible awe, for ten hours. It was something I knew I needed to remember, something I had to witness. Security had to kick me out so they could close the building.

Some where throughout the day, I wrote the poem that heads off this entry. I don’t remember writing it, but it was in my handwriting, so I must have done it.

For one brief moment in time, there were no factions. We were no Republican or Democrat. We were not Christian or Jew. We were not white or black. We were not lifers or choicers. For one glorious and impossibly beautiful moment, we stopped fighting amongst ourselves. We dropped the banners of out own personal causes, picked up the American flag, and were proud to stand side by side. We all were Americans.

But it didn’t last. Patriotism became fashionable. It was cool to patriotic and everyone was on the bandwagon. It seemed like every vehicle had a flag on it somewhere. The politicians started pointing fingers and hunting witches.

Four years later, the world has changed because of the American reaction, but much within our borders had returned to normal. The large majority of the people dumped the responsibility of their safety on the government so they could be free to get on with their own lives and causes. Where are all the flags on all the cars now?

On this day, it is natural to look back on what happened, to mourn what we have lost, and to take stock of what we have gained. It is appropriate and good that we honor the sacrifice of those who died.

But my challenge to all of you is to shift your focus to the present, not the past. Are you patriotic now that the fad has passed? Or have you put your flags away? I challenge you to put them out today and leave them out afterwards. Be patriotic because you actually love your country and it’s founding ideals, not because it is the “polite” thing to do today.

I challenge you to look to your loved ones. Do they know you love them? Do they know how much they mean to you? If you were on one of the planes today[/], what would you wish you had done differently with your loved ones? What ever it is, do it.

Last of all, look you your hates and prejudices. Think about the causes, laws, and groups you support. Ask yourself if your dedication tears this nation into fragments or makes it stronger. For one minute pause and consider that we were all just Americans when the towers fell. We can do it. How hard would it be to put your differences and prejudices to the side for one day, and just be American/


five_speed 41M

9/11/2005 1:45 am

Towers Fell (9/11/2001)
Thousands of papers only moments ago
were so important, papers
made and broke fortunes.
Fortunes that existed on other papers.
Policies and memos defined people,
what they did, who they were.
Vacation forms, budgets, blueprints;
finger paintings that decorated a proud mother’s cubicle.
Papers, papers, everywhere, flittering,
fluttering and scattering in the wind
burning, taking their time falling,
smoldering sheets, destroyed dreams and lives.
All will be ash before they touch earth.


I saw the entire thing from start to finish in the auditorium at the school where I worked, projected on the big screen from the cable tv feed. Seemingly large as life, I watched every single second. The second impact. The collapse. The second collapse. Too big, too loud, too real.

I thought back to when I was a boy, at the auto-parts store where dad and I paused to listen to the Challenger launch on the old radio. I still remember that day, and as I watched the utter chaos unfold on that movie screen, I realized it was the same kind of day, but so much worse.

I didn’t eat. I didn’t work. I skipped my classes. I cried, paced, screamed and stood still, struck dumb and mute in terrible awe, for ten hours. It was something I knew I needed to remember, something I had to witness. Security had to kick me out so they could close the building.

Some where throughout the day, I wrote the poem that heads off this entry. I don’t remember writing it, but it was in my handwriting, so I must have done it.

For one brief moment in time, there were no factions. We were not Republican or Democrat. We were not Christian or Jew. We were not white or black. We were not lifers or choicers. For one glorious and impossibly beautiful moment, we stopped fighting amongst ourselves. We dropped the banners of out own personal causes, picked up the American flag, and were proud to stand side by side. We all were Americans.

But it didn’t last. Patriotism became fashionable. It was cool to patriotic and everyone was on the bandwagon. It seemed like every vehicle had a flag on it somewhere. The politicians started pointing fingers and hunting witches.

Four years later, the world has changed because of the American reaction, but much within our borders has returned to normal. The large majority of the people dumped the responsibility of their safety on the government so they could be free to get on with their own lives and causes. Where are all the flags on all the cars now?

On this day, it is natural to look back on what happened, to mourn what we have lost, and to take stock of what we have gained. It is appropriate and good that we honor the sacrifice of those who died.

But my challenge to all of you is to shift your focus to the present, not the past. Are you patriotic now that the fad has passed? Or have you put your flags away? I challenge you to put them out today and leave them out afterwards. Be patriotic because you actually love your country and it’s founding ideals, not because it is the “polite” thing to do today.

I challenge you to look to your loved ones. Do they know you love them? Do they know how much they mean to you? If you were on one of the planes today, what would you wish you had done differently with your loved ones? What ever it is, do it.

Last of all, look you your hates and prejudices. Think about the causes, laws, and groups you support. Ask yourself if your dedication tears this nation into fragments or makes it stronger. For one minute pause and consider that we were all just Americans when the towers fell. We can do it. We don’t have to fight each other. We can choose not to. How hard would it be to put our differences and prejudices to the side for one day, and just be American? If we can do it one day, why can’t we do it every day?


five_speed 41M

9/11/2005 1:45 am

I saw the entire thing from start to finish in the auditorium at the school where I worked, projected on the big screen from the cable tv feed. Seemingly large as life, I watched every single second. The second impact. The collapse. The second collapse. Too big, too loud, too real.

I thought back to when I was a boy, at the auto-parts store where dad and I paused to listen to the Challenger launch on the old radio. I still remember that day, and as I watched the utter chaos unfold on that movie screen, I realized it was the same kind of day, but so much worse.

I didn’t eat. I didn’t work. I skipped my classes. I cried, paced, screamed and stood still, struck dumb and mute in terrible awe, for ten hours. It was something I knew I needed to remember, something I had to witness. Security had to kick me out so they could close the building.

Some where throughout the day, I wrote the poem that heads off this entry. I don’t remember writing it, but it was in my handwriting, so I must have done it.

For one brief moment in time, there were no factions. We were not Republican or Democrat. We were not Christian or Jew. We were not white or black. We were not lifers or choicers. For one glorious and impossibly beautiful moment, we stopped fighting amongst ourselves. We dropped the banners of out own personal causes, picked up the American flag, and were proud to stand side by side. We all were Americans.

But it didn’t last. Patriotism became fashionable. It was cool to patriotic and everyone was on the bandwagon. It seemed like every vehicle had a flag on it somewhere. The politicians started pointing fingers and hunting witches.

Four years later, the world has changed because of the American reaction, but much within our borders has returned to normal. The large majority of the people dumped the responsibility of their safety on the government so they could be free to get on with their own lives and causes. Where are all the flags on all the cars now?

On this day, it is natural to look back on what happened, to mourn what we have lost, and to take stock of what we have gained. It is appropriate and good that we honor the sacrifice of those who died.

But my challenge to all of you is to shift your focus to the present, not the past. Are you patriotic now that the fad has passed? Or have you put your flags away? I challenge you to put them out today and leave them out afterwards. Be patriotic because you actually love your country and it’s founding ideals, not because it is the “polite” thing to do today.

I challenge you to look to your loved ones. Do they know you love them? Do they know how much they mean to you? If you were on one of the planes today, what would you wish you had done differently with your loved ones? What ever it is, do it.

Last of all, look you your hates and prejudices. Think about the causes, laws, and groups you support. Ask yourself if your dedication tears this nation into fragments or makes it stronger. For one minute pause and consider that we were all just Americans when the towers fell. We can do it. We don’t have to fight each other. We can choose not to. How hard would it be to put our differences and prejudices to the side for one day, and just be American? If we can do it one day, why can’t we do it every day?


xx_44DD_xx 51F

9/11/2005 4:28 am

It was a day that has changed me forever. I lost my priest who united me in marriage and, who christened both of my children.

He was on the PA flight and fought like crazy!! My heart is so heavy today.

I got my phone book and called everyone I knew!! I told every single person I loved them. I made peace with every enemy.

My priorities immediately changed forever. What were once 12-16 hour work days for me? They changed into 6-7 hour days. I started taking days off to "enjoy the sunshine" so to speak.

I went there 2 weeks later to the site........ I'll never be the same. I saw Ashley Banfield from CNN. I stayed up for 3 days straight watching her. I felt like I knew her.

Unfortunately, our country is resilient and a lot of us HAVE forgotten. We still have our flag flying outside of our home.

I remember when you could NOT find a flag! Now, I see people wrapped in flags for comfort in New Orleans...........


DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/11/2005 4:37 am

Oh 5...I'm in tears. Just amazingly emotional. I'll have to come back to this later to properly comment. (smooch)


Theflinkychick 105F

9/11/2005 7:52 am

Incredible. You write man. You write right. This whole thing makes me jealous! Forget the phrase envy man, I'm Flinky-green to the core and looking for a tissue...

Not all who wander are lost.


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
9/11/2005 9:24 am

I live an hour from where the PA plane went down, I guess the other plane to the Pentagon went over close to where I live too. Either of those planes could have veered off course a little and hit where I live. For a long time after if I would hear the load motor of a helicopter or plane going above, I would just sit silently, waiting until it was gone. I still do sometimes.


Angelcurls47 61F

9/11/2005 1:00 pm

I don't think anyone in America will ever fully be the same. 9/11 shook us to our very core and opened our eyes to the reality that it is indeed possible to be hit on our own land by these thugs, these inhuman animals. I remember that morning, turning on the TV for noise as I set about getting ready for work and seeing the first building smoking, not knowing it was a situation happening right then and thinking instead they were doing some sort of follow up story from years ago when it had been bombed---and the then the 2nd plane hit the 2nd building....I remember literally SCREAMING... OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. My body got weak and I felt like I would be sick. I was numb and is shock...as was everyone I saw that day at work. I remember seeing a middle eastern man in a car at the stop light on my way to work that morning...he was smiling... I wanted to ram him with my car. My son-in-law's best friend-his best man at the wedding... His name is Tom...was supposed to have been at the World Trade Center that morning...but had stopped to get a hair cut before going to work. That's how close it came in my environment. I remember my daughter who lives in CA, calling me-crying...asking me what to do because she was so scared...wanting to know is it safe, is it ok to go about day to day life. I told her it would be ok, but until we know the extent of the situation, stay closer to home, don't go to Disneyland or anyplace where there is a lot of people...and just go on with her life. I or my family didn't personally know anyone that this horrible tragedy hit but even so, whether we knew anyone or not it became a personal tragedy for all Americans regardless of color, religion or social status. My flag flies with PRIDE...and I will never forget, nor can I ever forgive those that came into our country and willfully, maliciously caused a day in our lives that was so horrific of an event in our nation and to our fellow countrymen,women and children. Especially to those who lost thier husbands, wifes, brothers, sisters, son's & daughters, grand parents...Aunt's, Uncles, fiance's, best friends/dear friends, lovers. America and Americans from that day onward has changed... some drastically, some slightly...but nonetheless...we are a changed nation and while at times it seems all has gone back to normal, on 9/11 for the rest of our lives...we will remember, those who have put away the flag, will bring it back out...we will watch the stories be told again and again....we will resolve to never allow it to ever happen again, we will resolve to capture those responsible...and we will mourn those that were lost. 9/11 will bring about new strength and determination....and will send the message loud and clear those terrorist communities/leaders....that AMERICA is still here and we are stronger than ever.


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
9/11/2005 2:23 pm

five - nice piece. I am a native to NY & I have to confess, that at the time of this tragic event I didnt give "America" a second thought. I was worried about my frinds & family members who worked in the towers. Worry over America came later, after relief at the ones who survived & grief for the ones who didnt. As for patriotism & our ability to 'maintain' it? As my grandma used to say : "Its EASY to love the perfectly loveable. Loving the imperfect is something else."


StreaktheFreak 38F

9/11/2005 2:36 pm

[post 89539] you may appreciate some or all of this


gent_tx_05 45M

9/11/2005 2:55 pm

Hopefully...WE WILL NEVER FORGET 9/11! and may it be an isolated incident.


kyplowboy2 61M

9/11/2005 4:45 pm

If they would take my old ass back, I'd be over there today, or would have been there recently. It's time to get some.

kpb2


ThumbChickStool 33F

9/11/2005 4:50 pm

I was in New Hampshire at that time, a few days shy of my 18th birthday. I was the only student in the entire college, not just the culinary program, that was not from the East Coast. I was attending the Atlantic Culinary Academy in Dover, and I was in the Soups and Sauces class for that week and the next. I am the type of person who is very rarely aware of things outside my little world. However, on that morning, as I was making cream of broccoli soup, one of my fellow students enters the kitchen (it's an open kitchen shared by another class) and says loudly "There's been a bombing or something at the World Trade Tower." Every one stopped what they were doing, and as soon as that information was absorbed, several students ran into the student lounge to watch the tv set on one of the news stations. My teacher managed to get class back into some semblance of order, but one student at a time was allowed to go to the lounge for 10 minutes and bring back their update before someone else went. It was my turn to watch the news when the second tower fell. The emotional impact did not register for me since I had never been to New York, but the mental and visual impact of that tower falling struck deeply in me. The director of the school canceled classes for that day and the next while everyone was waiting for further word. And then reports came in that one of the pilots had a stop over in Las Vegas, and my heart stopped. What if that had been my hometown that had been hit? I finally understood the impact that this even had on my fellow students and the rest of the country. So instead of celebrating my 18th birthday as I had expected, I sat in my dorm room with a couple of friends and a small cake which was decorated with the words "In Memorandum" instead of "Happy Birthday".

I've always held a special place in my heart for the military, as well as the police and firefighters. After 9/11/01, I honored them even further, and still say a few words for everyone, to myself, on this day.


onelittlesecret 33M
1579 posts
9/11/2005 6:05 pm

Very powerful 5speed...


jim5131 55M
1296 posts
9/11/2005 8:04 pm

Wow 5speed...great post. There are few days in our lives that will remain etched in our memories..minute by minute. There are fewer still of such memories that bind us together in a common fashion. I have seen much in my lifetime...but nothing like I saw that day.

I remember being completely numb, screaming as the towers collapsed. Crying. Angry. Sad. Can't explain the emotions and simple words fall short of feelings.

Good post. God Bless those who passed, those that survived, the families and friends, and those of you here...your comments echo my sentiments.


bella_ 47F
4030 posts
9/11/2005 10:50 pm

I remember that day, my pc tuned onto the CNN website...so sad, so hard to forget.


five_speed 41M

9/11/2005 11:28 pm

friends, thank you for you comments and memories. I am not going to reply individually. It doesn't seem appropriate to me for some reason. It is a subject and memory we all share; this isn't about conversations between you and me. This is about all of us. Thank you for sharing. I hope I did the day justice with my words, but it is difficult, because even now, 4 years later, there really aren't words to say how I felt that day. I know you all know what I mean.


yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
9/12/2005 12:30 am

Someone already said it, but it deserves repeating.....VERY POWERFUL!
I can only say that I was frozen in fear and sadness on that day. Life does go on.......tradegy will strike again and again....we will remain.

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/12/2005 4:08 am

Ok...I made it back.

When I was a little girl, my grandmother and I used to travel to NYC once a year to do the "girl" thing...shopping, shows, etc. 'll NEVER forget the first time we went to the observatory deck at the WTC. NEVER. I covet the pictures we took that day. Just the most amazing view. It became a first destination stop for us every year after.

My career found me flying into NYC on a fairly regular basis at one time, the sight of the WTC on the horizon always giving me chills. So amazing. I had to fly into NYC on 9/24, thirteen days after the horrific tragedy.

The security, the lines, the extra hassle, the fear of boarding the plane...nothing phased me quite like the approach. Nothing. No WTC on the horizon. The emptiness was indescribable. I cried openly as we flew over, my coworkers having never seen this emotional side of me.

The emptiness is still there when I travel to NYC. The gut-wrenching pain of all that was lost...loved ones, friends, complete strangers, the symbolism. And I still cry.


CaboWaboVHnut 56M
637 posts
9/12/2005 11:02 am

You know, it's really strange. Watching movies & TV shows, you normally don't pay much attention to the background. Since 9/11, I'm constantly amazed at the number of times you'll see The Towers in the background shot.

I won't try to add anything else to 5's post, or your moving and thoughtful comments. You've expressed yourselves amazingly. As has been said so many times, words cannot truly express our thoughts & feelings, but, they're helpful & necessary for healing.

If you happen to be a Sammy Hagar fan{atic} like me, check out his DVD: The Long Road To Cabo. The 1st disc follows the Sam & Dave Tour in 2002. At the end, {you'll have to watch to get the details, Sammy is fed up with Dave, and his idiotic request}, Sammy plays a free concert for the NY Police & Fire Depts. Before the show, the fire dept. presents Sammy with a plaque, thanking him for his support after 9/11. As the fireman reads the plaque to Sammy, it gives you chills !!! On the 2nd disc, the song: Things Have Changed, has great impact as well, especially when you listen to the commentary with it. Not trying to get off the subject, just thinking some of you might get some peace from watching. It has brightened my outlook on some days when I'm down. Peace, Brothers & Sisters !!! Cabo !!!


Synn74 42F
1206 posts
9/14/2005 9:21 am

sorry for such a late post.. 5 that was beautiful my mememories are strong as both my husband and daughter were battling a nasty virus to the point it wasn't until 9/14 that my hubby even realized what happened .. so i watched the day unfold alone and realizing that my boss should have been on the PA flight ..i found out 45 mins before he boarded he switched to a later flight as he still had unfinished business.. WE ALL HUGGED HIM as soon as he walked ito the pharmacy 3 days later.. my heart is heavy as I type this ...realizing I still have my family and friends that my little sad moments are nothing in light of 9/11..
also I would lie to share with you the lyrics of a beautiful song Bret Michaels wrote after wisting 9/11 I had the privlidege of hearing it before it was ever released...

" One More Day"
Artist Bret Michaels
Album Songs of Life

I stare at the T.V.
And I can’t believe my eyes
There’s no place to run
And no place to go there’s no place left to hide
I can see their faces
I can feel their pain
Our lives will never be the same

So forgive me if I laugh
It is just to hide the tears
Sometimes I wonder if I’ve wasted all those years
For all the things I felt
But forgot to say
Won’t you give me one more day

I sit here and wonder
Now, what if that were me
If I had lost my life, left behind my wife and
The child I’d never see
If I could only look down on her
How would she explain
That daddy had to go away

Forgive me if I smile it’s just to hide my fears
And in a time of dying our life becomes so clear
They say the good Lord works
In such mysterious ways
I just hope he gives me one more day

One more day to look into her eyes
One more moment to say goodbye, goodbye
One more night to feel her touch
Just one more chance so I could tell her
How much I miss her, tell her I love her

Someone to love me and someone to hold me before
I fall from grace
Someone to need me, someone to believe me
Before I lose my faith
For all the things I meant but forgot to say…
I hope you give me one more day

So forgive me if I laugh
It is just to hide the tears
Sometimes I wonder if I’ve wasted all those years
For all the things I felt
But forgot to say
I hope he gives me one more day

© 2002-2003 Steel



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