come on guys, cut the women some slack  

five_speed 41M
3250 posts
8/5/2005 5:57 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

come on guys, cut the women some slack

I’m not going to pick on anyone in particular, because I’d hate to have anyone pick on me in a similar fashion, but I have to say that some of the men’s blogs are not really giving women on this site enough consideration. I’ve read a number of complaints in a few different blogs where guys are whining because some woman has not replied to an email or has not replied fast enough to suit them.

These guys have no clue what it is like to be a woman on this site.

Just to see, I set up a standard account as a female. I used a cute handle, but I posted no photo and supplied almost no additional information in my profile ‒ just the bare essentials AdultFriendFinder required to create the account, and I used a different email address so the notifications would not get mixed in with those from my real account.

I have been amazed. Even with the practically non-existent account, I’ve averaged 10 emails/winks/network invites a day over the last two weeks, and I set up the account as if I was in the little town where I used to live ‒ there aren’t even that many people in that area. I get about a tenth of that attention on my profile that has the penis.

I can’t even imagine how much mail a woman in an urban area must get, especially if she has attractive pictures posted. It has left me with a new appreciation and respect for the email I receive from the wonderful women on this site. You’ll never hear me complain because it takes a woman too long to return my mail. I’m just happy that she picked my message from the hoard in her inbox and decided to write me back when she had time.

I do understand a guy’s frustration over getting no reply at all. Personally, I’d like to at least get an email saying “thanks, but I’m not interested.” The “silent treatment” can get frustrating, but that’s the way it works. Some guys can’t take “No” for an answer. If a woman emails and says “no thanks,” some guys actually take it as encouragement and email her more, so no reply is often better.

I’ve emailed many women on this site just to strike up a conversation about something I read in their profile or in their blog and received no reply. I guess this falls under the “don’t encourage him” policy, but it is even more aggravating to me, because I wasn’t hitting on them. I just wanted to talk. But again, I understand that is how the game is played. If I couldn’t accept it, I’d not be here.

So to those of you who complain, and you know who you are, I have only this to say: You have no clue what you’re talking about, and it’s not like you’re the only one getting the silent treatment from some one. Shut up and grow up. If you don’t like the rules, go play in some other playground.

Theflinkychick 105F

8/6/2005 8:08 am

I answer all of the email that I get. Some days I get so many I can't answer them even to day I will get back to them soon because I can only send a few day as a standard member. I've had to stop making individual replies to the ones who send me two or three a day. This bothers me, but my hands are tied buy the quota limits. If I am not interested I try to say so nicely. And you are right, there has been one or two that it hasn't discouraged. I've found this out in just the week or so I've been here.

Not all who wander are lost.

five_speed 41M

8/6/2005 2:28 pm

FlinkyChick, I always reply to all of mine too, but I have it pretty easy. I only have a handful every day. My biggest challenge is remembering who I have emailed and who I haven't. I don't always think to save a draft when I send out an email, and then a week later I am scratching my head and trying to remember if I emailed a certain woman and she didn't reply, or if I haven't emailed her at all. When a woman emails me and says "no thanks," it is easier to remember so I don't bother them again.

Tala4u2 54M  
2957 posts
8/6/2005 9:10 pm

Thier are a pile of guys on here I dunno I have seen the stats in others posts on the ratio that is irrelevant. Thing is a lot of the guys think AdultFriendFinder is like an Adult Book shop, you go in browse get the book and open the pages and you got it! Yahoo hence the emails from many guys are straight from porno dialogue Oh For F***'s sake that is the reason they can't get laid but look on the the bright side it proves that neandertals are not extinct.

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,

five_speed 41M

8/6/2005 9:33 pm

Tala4u2: I agree that neanderthals are alive and well. I've even seen where a few are getting jobs these days. The ones in the Gieco commercials seem to be doing very well for themselves!

five_speed 41M

8/9/2005 9:11 am

I understand, nbtnt, and I am sorry that many men are so clueless and relentless. I think it undermines the entire stated purpose of this site because I think many women do just as you have: they ignore most of the locals and communicate with the ones that are too far away to be a bother. I don't blame you, either. I'd do the same if I were in the same situation.

I haven't kept count, but I've probably sent out introductory emails to 25-30 local women. Of those, 4 have replied and showed some interest. I replied to 2 of them and never recieved another word from them. I suspect another of the four was just fishing, trying to get suckers to pay to see her on another website, and the fourth, well... things were going pretty good with her until she found out I still don't have any furniture in my new place, and she backed out of a meet for unspecified reasons. So that's one "almost" out of 30 attempts.

In contrast, I am in regular contact through email, blogs, and chat with 13 other women that i've met over the last month, the closest of whom lives about 300 miles away. I'm really glad to be in touch with them too, but at the same time I wish the average screwball wasn't harrassing women and making it so much harder for me to meet some one locally.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/19/2005 8:50 pm

Yes, as I've stated several times , we women do have the advantage on this site. I've had "not looking...emails from those I do not know will not be answered" on my profile for over 3 weeks and I'm still getting a shitload daily. Although I'm sure I should feel flattered, I find it more than annoying.

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