NEW VIRUS WARNING: The Bad Day Bug  

five_speed 41M
3250 posts
9/1/2005 10:00 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

NEW VIRUS WARNING: The Bad Day Bug

Whew, I think many of my friends in blogland have had a bad day or two this week; it’s been like a nasty cold making the rounds through the office ‒ the bad day bug.

I caught it today. It’s been the kind of day that makes you wish you could go back in time to one of the moments when, as a child, you wished to be bigger, to be older, to be a adult. I’d got back to that moment and kick my own ass until I quit wishing for to be grown up.

It’s just been that kind of day. Mom called me, and she said, “You sound down. Are you OK? “ I said “yeah, no worries, ma. I was just hanging out with my buddy from Texas. We were in the blogland hot tub last night, talking about the pizza and prostitution business we’re going to start in Las Vegas, and I think I caught the bad day bug from him.”

She said “Oookaaay…. Are you sure you won’t talk to that psychiatrist we found for you? Ever since your brother started sessions, he’s stopped that obsessive/compulsive crotch sniffing problem he had.”

I said, “That’s great news, ma. Maybe the women in the neighborhood can start wearing skirts again. Don’t worry about me. I’m Ok, ma. I’ll find my own cure without involving the brain .” She let me go, because I had a lot of work to do.

Been turned inside-out by a Department of Defense interviewer today. Cleaned the house all morning in preparation for his arrival. Did online work when I could squeeze a few minutes. I didn’t get enough of it done to suit my bosses, I know.

The icing on the cake was tracking down and making a phone call to the ex-wife. I broke three years of blissful silence today, and she was even less happy to hear from me than I was to call her, but I had to have some info for my security check. It was like chewing on glass plates that had been dipped in shit.

But I didn’t lie to my ma. I did find my own cure for the bad day bug. It was right here in blogland, the first part of the treatment, anyway. Time spent with friends on here makes me smile, even if it is asynchronous communications. Please, everyone, just keep on being you, and keep me smiling until the bad day bug runs its course.

The second part of my treatment is sleep, and I’m getting ready for dose of that right now.

Good night, every one. Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite!


xx_44DD_xx 51F

9/2/2005 4:50 am

Just wait til you have kids.......... PAYBACK time!

Hope you slept well.


five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 5:37 am

Huny, I am awake again, and glad I slept, but wow! My dreams were odd! I dreamed I was at an amusement park with a guy I knew back in the army, a fellow I hadn't thought about in six years or more. We were running around, riding the rides, talking about life and catching up on old times.

The weird part is that I absolutely HATED that prick in real life. I celebrated for three days when he left our unit.


five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 5:42 am

Traveling, rest easy, man. He asked me if I engaged in any deviant behavior or directly associated with any deviants. I decided online blogging under assumed names did not qualify as "Directly associated" so I told him "Nope. me and all my friends are Boy Scouts, or at least we woudl have been, if we hadn't got kicked out of Cub Scouts for eating Brownies."

He said, "My daughter is a Brownie." I said "Ok. Please look up the next question while I pull my foot out of my mouth."


five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 6:04 am

Huni, don't worry about me. I'm wary to those DoHS fucks.

I know many Americans still think the Government should be doing more to save us from terrorists, so I am in the minority here, but personally, I think "homeland security" is just a PC way of saying "The new KGB, you stupid meandering sheep."

It makes me sick to even think about it. I can barely stand to even watch it. The Department of Homeland Security will kill American freedom faster than any terrorist ever could. The public screams "SAVE US! PROTECT US! HELP US" and the old fucks in DC hear "MANAGE US! CONTROL US! EXPLOIT US!" They call it protection, tell us it's for our own good, and we let them do it.

My grandmother used to say "Lucifer's greatest trick was to convince humans that he didn't exist." Along the same lines, I see a whole generation that trusts what they see on TV, and they are either apathetic to what government does or they seem confident that the government actually has their best interests in mind.

Where ever Bin Laden is at, I know he's laughing his ass off at us. I don't think he ever intended to destroy the American way of life, our freedoms, our liberty, because he knew he could not do it, but he has succeeded in tricking us into abandoning them by choice, out of fear and selfishness.

Wow, sorry to rant. But as you can see, I feel pretty strongly about this.


five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 6:09 am

Humboldthonni, don't worry about me. I'm wary to those DoHS fucks.

I know many Americans still think the Government should be doing more to save us from terrorists, so I am in the minority here, but personally, I think "homeland security" is just a PC way of saying "The new KGB, you stupid meandering sheep."

It makes me sick to even think about it. I can barely stand to even watch it. The Department of Homeland Security will kill American freedom faster than any terrorist ever could. The public screams "SAVE US! PROTECT US! HELP US" and the old fucks in DC hear "MANAGE US! CONTROL US! EXPLOIT US!" They call it protection, tell us it's for our own good, and we let them do it.

My grandmother used to say "Lucifer's greatest trick was to convince humans that he didn't exist." Along the same lines, I see a whole generation that trusts what they see on TV, and they are either apathetic to what government does or they seem confident that the government actually has their best interests in mind.

Where ever Bin Laden is at, I know he's laughing his ass off at us. I don't think he ever intended to destroy the American way of life, our freedoms, our liberty, because he knew he could not do it, but he has succeeded in tricking us into abandoning them by choice, out of fear and selfishness.

Wow, sorry to rant. But as you can see, I feel pretty strongly about this.


five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 6:15 am

44DD, I think the Catholic church issued some kind of edict or proclomation preventing me from fathering children, something about it being the first true sign of the apocolypse... I'm not Catholic, but there are lots of them running around - I like to pick a good fight as much as the next guy, but the odds of me coming out on top against the Catholic Church are pretty slim, so I'll put a raincoat on ol 2 1/2 Speed until they change their minds. I don't want to be single-handedly responsible for resurrecting the Inquisition.


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
9/2/2005 7:16 am

5 speed there is another cure...excessive masturbation! Sure, one arm will measure 22 inches and you'll develope squinty eyes & buck teeth...so?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
9/2/2005 7:20 am

God, those DoD background checks are a total pain in the ass. Been there, done that a few times. Never gets any easier. Passed with flying colors every time. Laugh, little did they know!

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 7:40 am

nbtnt, here is what I have started doing to avoid multiposting:

after I type the post, before I submit it, I high light it all and copy it into the windows clipboard. Then I submit the comment or blog post. Most often, it doesn't appear. I click the link back to the main blog and then go back into the post. Sometimes it shows up then. If it doesn't, I paste it in the window and repeat the process.

The up side is that I don't have multiple posts, but the down side is that I don't have as much time to make different posts, becuase sometimes I have to submit the same comment three times before it sticks.

I've already decided these jerk offs aren't getting anymore of my money unless there's a noticable improvement before the 18th. I'm tired of it.


five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 7:45 am

TDA1, good to see you brother. I've not been to your blog much this week, cuz it takes a hundred years to bring it up on the screen if it shows up at all.

I'd write down a note about your masturbation technique, but I'm typing with one hand and the other hand is already occupied. My arm is already 22 inches, and I already have squinty eyes, but I hope to avoid the buck teeth.


five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 7:48 am

Daphne, they are a pain. This is my second one, and either I'd forgotten what a pain they are, or they've gotten tougher since 9/11. I can't tell which. I might have.... failed to reveal a few things on my first one, but i've been painfully honest in this one, because I know I have to do a polygraph with this one before it is all said and done...


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