Knights in Shiny Armor are Worthless  

five_speed 41M
3250 posts
8/28/2005 10:11 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Knights in Shiny Armor are Worthless

Ladies, I’m sorry to dispel the illusion, but Knights in Shining Armor are worthless. That’s right: totally and utterly worthless. Personally, I think waiting around for one to show up is a total waste of time.

Now, before you all cry out in one voice and demand my slow and painful execution, please, I beg you, hear me out. Give me a chance to explain myself, and then, if you are still unconvinced, I will submit myself to your vicious retributions.

You see, I know what I am talking about, because I used to be a knight in shining armor ‒ and I am speaking literally here ‒ I used to have a full set of polished, gleaming plate mail armor. During my teenage years and into my early twenties, I was obsessed with medieval European weaponry, tactics, and warfare. I studied sword play, siege engines, and armor. I fought in competitions and participated in parades and gatherings.

I had two sets of armor: a shiny set and a “work” set.

The shiny set was gorgeous. It was like wearing mirrors. It had fine etching and embossing all over it and when I stood in the sun, I blinded people. I didn’t keep that set for long. I sold it and was glad to be rid of it, because I was worthless in it. Do you know how it remained so shiny? I spent all my time polishing and taking care of it, that’s how! I was so worried about scratching it or denting it or doing anything that would make it harder to polish that I wouldn’t lift a finger to do much of anything while I wore it. I could stand in the sun and look impressive. That was all I was good for.

The work set was a different matter. It was not shiny at all. I kept its surface non-reflective on purpose because I didn’t want to blind myself with my own armor during a fight. I worked to keep it in good condition, but it had plenty of dents and I occasionally missed a spot of rust or two. When I stood in the sun in that armor, I looked like some one had thrown me in the mud and trampled me with horses. It wasn’t impressive at all to see,


I was free to do what ever I wanted in that armor. I could fight, sweep women off their feet, dance, carry fire wood, and generally work up a hell of a sweat doing what ever needed done, whether it was in the mud, rain, hail, or sun. Additionally, since I’d made the work set myself, it fit me perfectly and I was able to modify it as I needed to make it function and fit better. It was like a second skin. I could take a full swing from a baseball bat to the chest and keep going. I was unstoppable (barring the use of modern weaponry, I mean.)

Now, I’ve been talking literally here, but I hope you can see what I am getting at, because the same concept applies to modern appearances. In modern times, our appearances are our armor. I used to wear a modern version of shining armor as well. I was totally obsessed with my clothes, my face, my body... until I realized I was just as useless as I had been in the literal shining armor. So these days I am happy with my working armor. I take care of myself; I’m not a slob, but my appearance isn’t perfect. I have my dents and scars. I have a few rusty spots and calluses. I certainly do not look as impressive as some of those studs I see on TV and in magazines, but I am still unstoppable. Life can hit me as hard as it wants with a baseball bat, and I can take it ‒ often with a laugh.

So, to finish up, I urge both women and men to remember this: If a person has no dents in their armor, it’s probably because they don’t do much besides polishing it. If you take away their shiny suit, oftentimes they are nothing, because the armor is all they have. If a person has a few dents and scratches, it could be that they’re just too lazy to take care of themselves, but it is also very possible that they earned those imperfections through hard work or hard living. If you take the armor from them, they’re still ready to take on the world, because their true armor is inside, and that can’t be taken away.

Ultimately, I think we all should be less concerned with the armor and be more concerned with the person inside the suit. What do you think?

five_speed 41M

8/28/2005 11:54 am

as I read over this again, I realize it does not sound quite as I intended. I am not trying to belittle any one's efforts to look good, especially the ladies! I realize it takes ALOT of work to keep in shape, manage hair, make up, wardrobe, and all that, and I also realize appearances are very important, both professionally and personally. So please do not take offense, because none was intended.

I merely meant to suggest that our society as a general whole places entirely too much empahsis on outward appearances when physical attractivemess by itself is actually pretty useless when it comes to practical concerns. I think life throws us mny challenges that good looks can't fix, and I wish our society paid more attention to the characteristics under the skin and behind the eyes: intelligence, common sense, humor, compassion, resolve, etc. Without these things, we are all just baloons with faces painted on them.

justafunin2 40M

8/28/2005 1:02 pm

BRAVO well said lol good job man

madkitten 53F
291 posts
8/28/2005 1:04 pm

Well said. I think you are very right, a few dents and scratches could also mean they have at least been trying to live a life, cause life gives you lots of knocks, the people who have are trying to live a life are usually far more interesting than the perfect suits of armour.

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

8/28/2005 1:07 pm

Bravo ... I have earned every single nick, dent, scratch and wear them all proudly ...

"You" have displayed one of the most attractive traiTs a man can have ... CHARACTER !

redmartinigirl 43F

8/28/2005 5:06 pm

"She who waits for her knight in shining armor gets to clean up after his horse" <<<--- one of my favorite sayings I found on a rubber stamp (for making cards and such) LOL

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
8/28/2005 5:21 pm

well said very correct and like huntress I am full of dents and scratches every single one taught me something valuable

my husbands ex had taught my SD that appearance is what mattered above all....and as a consequence she missed out on so many experiences....

now thankfully she understands what yesterday she came back from camp covered head to toe in Milo and chocolate cake but I have a small feeling it was well worth it


five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:08 pm


I am sorry to hear your knight in tainted armor turned out to be a turd in aluminun foil. I think that happens a lot, unfortunately. Too many people lie about too many things.

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:09 pm

Justafunin2, Thanks for dropping in! I'm glad you enjoyed it and agree.

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:11 pm

Madkitten, I agree. I have a story behind every scar - some funny and some not - but they're mine and I'mproud of them, even the ones I got as a result of being a dumbass somewhere along the way.

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:22 pm

Huntress, Thank you for the compliment. Your comment reminds me of something my dad used to always say whenever we get stranded he forgot to get gas or because he forgot the jack or because he was going to fast and slid off the road... He'd always say "Now don't get pissed. This kind of thing just builds CHARACTER."

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:23 pm

redmartinigirl, that's HILARIOUS!! do you mind if I file that one away for future use?

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:26 pm

Wyvernrose, good looks fade with time, but we have our dents for life, and I am vey glad it works that way.

It sounds like your SD had a good time at camp!

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:31 pm

nbtnt, I agree with you. I think we all form initial impressions; I don't think we can help it, but the key is to make a conscious effort to resist our tendencies to rely so heavily on first impressions.

for instance, I remember the first time I met my ex wife - I hated her guts - oh wait... very bad example!

seriously, I never let a first impression define a person. I do my very best to remain open to new information about a person whether it reinforces or contradicts my first impression of them.

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:33 pm

valleyrat4, thanks! I am glad it did not come across the wrong way. I read it again later when I was in a different mood, and I interpretted it totally differently from my intent. I just wanted to make sure no one took it the wrong way.

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 5:45 pm

Huntress, Thank you for the compliment. Your comment reminds me of something my dad used to always say whenever we got stranded because he forgot to get gas or because he forgot the jack or because he was going to fast and slid off the road... He'd always say "Now don't get pissed. This kind of thing just builds CHARACTER." He was right. Damn the man - the older I get the smarter he becomes.

onelittlesecret 33M
1579 posts
8/31/2005 5:42 pm

Hey! I just spent some time writing my own post on "Knights in shining armor," now I can't post it or I'll look like a copy cat.

In all seriousness, nice post, I like your blog alot.

five_speed 41M

9/1/2005 5:21 am

ahh, here are my missing comments! I knew the numbers weren't adding up right! huny, I am glad I touched your heart. While you're mighty fine all over, I think your heart is the part I'd most like to touch if I had the choice of all of you. I am happy to have had my wsh come true.

five_speed 41M

9/1/2005 5:24 am

onelilsecret, please post it anyway if you haven't already. I know you didn't copy me, and who cares what anyone else thinks? TDA1 and TavelinginTexas do this to me all the time, and it makes me cuss everytime.

(I'm glad you like my blog. I have your blog on my list of things to do, between "feed the cat" and "take a shower." I am looking forward to reading through it.)

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