five_speed 41M
3250 posts
8/31/2005 10:09 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


After much discussion and deliberation, Cunning Linguists Consulting has decided to bring on another highly qualified consultant to expand the skill pool of our team. We are proud to welcome travelingintexas into our ranks.

The decision came after a particularly interesting discussion we had in the hot tub the other day. I was drinking Jack and Coke, and he was eating a Klondike bar for some reason… it didn’t work out well for him. I’ll have to remember to tip the pool and spa guy extra for cleaning up that mess…

Traveling also swears that he was not adding his own bubbles to the hot tub jets, but I think he was fibbing ‒ either that or a couple frogs got caught in the filter again. I think it is more likely that an armadillo crawled up his ass and died, but I can only speculate.

Despite his potent flatulence, I could not resist the idea he proposed to me. We were talking business (as per our agreement after our last hot tub discussion got me into some trouble.) As he lined out his business models and ideas, I knew I had to have him ‒ on my CLC team, I mean.

So, starting today, he is now our primary representative for the state of Texas. I asked him “Are you sure you can handle the entire state? It’s a big area.” He just laughed and said “hell man, I’ve got a big mouth to match it!” I gotta admire his “will do her” attitude. The man has a lot of sand, no doubt about it.

Additionally, he will be directly responsible for CLC’s newest business venture. It’s only fitting since it was his brain child. Per his vision, CLC will open a child company in Las Vegas, Nevada. It is going to be a pizza delivery joint. TravelinginTexas will work in tandem with nbtnt, our new business manager, to oversee the overall operation remotely from Texas, but we will need a local vice president to handle things “on the ground.” I have not asked her yet, but I am hoping Ana_6973 will accept the position (I think she will be glad to help when she finds out what kinds of employee discount she gets with our other services.)

This pizza joint will make the best pies in the entire city. A bold statement, I know, but I am training the cooks myself, and ol’ Five-Speed knows how to throw together a pizza! Homemade sauces, fresh veggies year round, homemade crusts ‒ I can tell you now, these pies will have no equal in the entire state. It will be delivery only, no take out or dine in. Our delivery drivers will be some of the most attractive men and women in the entire city. You will feel proud to have some one that looks so good bringing you a pizza!

We have not worked out all of the menu options, toppings options, or pricing yet, since nbtnt is still waiting on local market numbers to complete her analysis, but we expect most additional toppings to cost $1.25 ‒ 1.75 each, with two very notable exceptions. Our customers will have the option of ordering their pizza pie with “hair” or “Texas Sausage,” or both, if they desire, but these toppings will be at least $300 apiece. If you order hair on your pie, your delivery person will be female. Texas Sausage guarantees a male delivery driver….

To qualify for tax breaks, we followed one of nbtnt’s suggestions and offered to serve as an employer for people in half way houses who suffer from sex addictions….

We are not responsible for any actions our delivery people may decide to take while in your home. Remember, you are paying for the pizza and its toppings! Anything they else our employees do is strictly between consenting adults.

We are very excited to branch into this new enterprise, and we appreciate your support! So the next time you’re in Vegas and would like a piece (of pizza,) look us up in the book. We’ll be there in the pizza section. Just look for the full page PIZZA SLUT ad.

For a limited time, when you call, tell them TravelinginTexas or Papa Five-Speed sent you, and we’ll give you the AdultFriendFinder discount!

Only one discount per customer. AdultFriendFinder and employee discounts are not cumulative. Offer void where prohibited. Not available in all areas. “Pizza Slut” and all associated logos are trademarks of Cunning Linguists Consulting, Inc.

five_speed 41M

9/1/2005 7:15 am

nbtnt, how quickly you forget... you were sitting on that huge pizza, had oil and marina sauce all over your legs and ass... you asked me to lick it off, and I told you I would if I could use the pic for this post. You agreed. Granted, I had already started cleaning you up, and you were moaning more than speaking, but I distinctly heard one whimper that was definitely a "yes." So don't be mad.

Of course we are counselling the halfway house people. If we can condition - I mean train - er no, I mean TEACH - them to have sex only when they're paid - i mean, when they choose - then they will have made an effective recovery.

Ana_6973 43F

9/1/2005 9:08 am

Hmm, would that mean I get to try, oops I mean train the talent, oops I mean drivers. Lol. But I'd need a male counter-part to assist in the training. Counseling? Sex addicts? Lol. You're killing me here. Too early in the morning to laugh this hard. Later! {=}

~~"I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence."~~

five_speed 41M

9/1/2005 8:14 pm

ana, it's never to early to laugh, no matter how hard you're laughing. I'm glad I was able to start your day off in a pleasant way.

five_speed 41M

9/1/2005 8:18 pm

Traveling, Go forth, my friend, and do great things. You know the Way. Your path is before you. Your dream is at hand. Take it, man! Make your papa proud! Make ME proud!

five_speed 41M

9/2/2005 5:18 am

I tried to tell you, you hard headed ox! When we were laying out the plans for Pizza Slut, there was all this foamy white bubbly stuff on the water, and there were chunks of metling chocolate floating around too... and SOMEONE kept ripping dead armidillo farts.

I could tell you were getting realy excited about working for CLC. You kept saying "man, i think I'm about to cum in my pants." Of course, you weren't wearing any...

I kept looking at the white foamy stuff and the chunks of "chocolate." As I tried to splash the stuff away and ignored the smell of dead armidillos, I kept thinking "please let that be Klondike bar. please let that be klondike bar. If he's busting a nut or shitting himself in the blogland hottub, sexyfitwoman will be wearing my guts for garters by the time she's done with me."

five_speed 41M

9/5/2005 4:34 pm

wetpanties, Thanks for dropping in! We're just silly around here! well, sometimes, anyway! Please come back when you're done talking to that feller about that horse!

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