My Past  

firestarter665 42M/39F
3158 posts
2/15/2006 5:19 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My Past

I used to date a guy from the time I was 16 until I was 18. We were friends first and he knew absolutely everything about me. He knew how many guys I had slept with and things I had experimented with. So when he asked me to date him, I was thrilled. I used to think (due to all the Cosmo's and Glamour magazines I read) that this was perfect. And it was at first.

After a few months things had started to change. He had me on such a high from the previous months, that when he said anything now I would believe him. It started with him saying that any free time we had should have been spent with one another. Boy did I think that this was romantic at the time. So that is what I did. I spent the free time with him.

Then I had moved to a new school and made some great friends. Friends who didn't know of my sexual past and accepted me for me. I was so happy with my new group of friends. My boyfriend hated me being around them because he was so possessive. So when prom came and he and I were invited to a beach house, he said that the time should have been spent alone with each other. I was devistated, but I did what he wanted to do.

Now after a year and a half I was depressed. I did not have any friends of my own and had gained 35 pounds. As if the possesstion wasn't enough, he had started on me about my weight. Telling me things that I couldn't wear because it didn't siut me at the weight that I was at. I was 150 pounds at the time. His mom even got into it. She would tell me how fat I looked in certian things.

Now here is when the worst part kicks in. Because he knew of my past sexual experiences, he would use this against me. If I did not want to have sex one night he would say"Oh so you can have sex with all those other guys but not me". He would manipulate my mind so badly that I would give in to sex. He would call me a whore by saying "You can cover a pile of shit with whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top, but it is still a piece of shit in the middle".

Well, after two years I had had enough and I broke it off. I was stalked afterward for a while, but then all things ended. It has been almost 11 years since this guy and the effects of the 2 years of mental abuse are still there.

Isn't it amazing that someone filling your head with shit for years can screw up your mind so badly!?!

sassybelle21 32F
13313 posts
2/16/2006 8:10 am

I am very sorry to hear that. And I don't understand why my sister still wanted to remain with his abusive boyfriend who hit her in front of me and my brother back then.

firestarter665 42M/39F

2/16/2006 4:50 pm

Sassy- It's not too bad anymore. Of course I still have some issues to work on. I feel for your sister. Sometimes it is so hard to get out of one of these relationships. These men are manipulative and screw up your way of thinking rationally. I wish your sister the courage to call things off.

PassionKisses4Me 44F

2/17/2006 9:12 am

Awww sweetie hugssssss and kissesss to you...I know how you feel...spend some much time listening to what others think instead of listening to our selves...but thank god you didn't stay longer with him and moved on to better are great girl and never forget that!!!



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