|Blogs > fieldsofdaisy > Moral Turpitude!!!!|
This is serious business... Sex and violence and rock and roll...
This is serious business... Sex and violence and rock and roll...
As you may or may not know, I have two kids. A boy and a girl.
And, I have a confession.
I really wanted two boys.
I know. That sounds awful, doesn't it?? Please don't get me wrong. I adore my daughter. She is as sweet as can be and I wouldn't trade her for the world.
But, I didn't want a girl.
I know you are probably ticking off several reasons in your head right now, not the least of which, that being a male (if you are one! Or, hell. Even KNOW one...), you KNOW how they think, and oh-my-god, my sweet baby girl! But, that's not really it.
Two words, my friends.
I'm terrified of this child. Because she is going to turn out exactly like me. And, dear sweet jesus, I pray that I can maintain even the slightest semblance of the patience and self-control my mother did, or else she won't make it to adulthood!!! I know you think I'm joking, but it's SO not funny.
Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't a BAD kid. I didn't do 'bad' things. (not too many at least. and, well, very few that my mom actually knew about. AGH. Thinking about that just makes it worse!!!!) I was just incredibly melodramatic, over-the-top emotional. (I know you are thinking, 'what teenage girl wasn't', right? Uh-uh. I was so far beyond the norm that it's not even funny. (of course, it could be said that I still am, couldn't it?? Only in a much different (and, better, if I say so myself!) way. )) It was just my mom and me at home when I was that age. Our time was wrought with screaming fits, door slamming, eye-rolling, huffing, and encounters where one could be totally convinced that satan himself was channeling through in pure and utter malice. And, that was all me. My mom, bless her, rarely raised her voice, and was incredibly patient. Which, of course, drove teenage Daisy even further up the scale of 'batshit crazy'. The calmer she was, the more evil I was.
Don't believe me?
At 13, she turned around and left me at the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. I mean, LEFT ME. I finally chased her down and got my subway card and rode the train back to where we were staying. At 16, while on vacation, she declared that we were not taking another vacation together until I was at least 18. And, we didn't. Um. And, I won't even talk about getting kicked out of my high school at 16. Or the boys that stayed the night, without her knowledge, at 17. Or the parties. Or the... Crap. I'd just better stop there.
So, now, when I experience the brief tastes of my daughter's will, catch glimpses of her stubborn streak, my mom laughs uproariously at the re-telling of it.
However, I suppose that's how it works, isn't it? A parent's only revenge is their grandchildren. And, I can only pray that if karma isn't kind to me, and my daughter is everything that I was (if not more, god help me), that, one day, she too has a daughter. And, it will be ME laughing uproariously at the exasperated calls and hair-raising stories.
That is, if I make it there...
P.S. The Birthday has officially passed. A rather disappointing event this year, unfortunately. But, I can parlay these things to my advantage... (I'm sneaky like that!) I have finagled an out of town trip with a girlfriend as my 'belated' birthday gift!! He feels off the hook for dicking off my birthday, and I get to shop and party with my bestest friend in the whole world!! Aah.. Don't you love it when a plan comes together??
P.P.S. My new favorite song quote: "Gee, you know what I really want in a girl?? Me."
P.P.P.S. This morning, I took delivery of all the delicious goodies that were purchased at my Naughty Lady party a few weeks back!! If you don't hear from me for a while, just know that I'm enjoying myself... And, I shall return eventually. Exhausted, probably, but quite happy...
P.P.P.P.S. Shit. How come I can never come up with something for the 4th post-script??? Damnit. Oh! Can anyone come up with a rhyme for vagina?? I can't... been wracking my brain. Help a girlie out, would ya'? (Yes. I realize that I'm really reaching for that 4th post-script. But, COME ON!! P.P.P.P.S has such a wonderful ring to it!!
8/19/2006 3:14 pm
thanx for that, lol, i too have a boy and a girl........|
8/19/2006 3:29 pm
It's only natural to fear that the daughter will follow in some of the mother's footsteps. My daughter just had a little girl yesterday, my first granddaughter... and I'm scared to death she will follow her mom's example. |
Actually, I'm quite proud of my daughter. She had a little bit of a wild side too and she turned out just great... I'm sure you will have the same success with your daughter. BTW, my newest grandchild is a beauty, I couldn't be happier.
8/19/2006 3:38 pm
Thankfully my daughter isn't too much like her mother.|
She's more like me. And that's scary.
8/19/2006 3:42 pm
My daughter (22) says she's not going to have kids, cuz if there are anything like she was there's the very real danger that she'll kill them ... |
She's not kidding about not having them.
She's kidding about killing them - I think.
Enjoyed the posting
8/20/2006 8:58 am
8/20/2006 4:44 pm
I love extra post scripts, kind of like errata in a game, lol. I don't have kids, but all my siblings are at least 12 years apart from me (the oldest is 21 and the youngest is 17), so I got to watch them grow up and deal with all the stuff you will soon fear. It must be karma to some extent for my folks, for the youngest, at 17, just had her first daughter, finally making my dad a grandparent. I don't think I exasperated my folks the way the current generation does, lol (actually, they have even said as much, but I was a nice kid |
8/24/2006 11:55 am
Karmic retribution is seriously over-rated my dear...stop worrying...in fact...the worrying is part of the deal, you know?? You worry for 15 years....lose all your hair, appetite and friends...chain-smoke in a dark basement...mumbling to yourself how you're really going to get it now...still trying to wiggle out of that tight white jacket...and she turns out to be the best daughter you've ever known... |
Talk to your mom...she has first hand knowledge of the gene pool...but with your sense of humour and outlook in life...you'll be a great mom...no worries...
Dang...he beat me to it...I once wrote a poem and I did rhyme China with vagina...nevermind....
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There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting......