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Alphbetical Alternatives to MILF
Alphbetical Alternatives to MILF
Alphabetical Alternatives to MILF...
Current mood: horny
Well, its official. I'm a MILF. I'm so proud... I, I, I'd like to thank the Academy; my pimp; and my mom for believing that I could be an oversexed, middle-aged, weiner-lovin skank. But most of all, I'd like to thank God and these young men out here who have helped to raise my poor self-esteem in a truly difficult time. They like me, they really like me. sniff sniff weep weep.
Ok, so its mildly flattering. I'm not the hottest chick on the block, but PUHLEEEEZZZZZ. Mother I'd Like to...WHAT? OOOHHH what a recommendation. Perhaps I should put it on my resume and get references. Yeah, I AM a Mother You'd Like to... but it doesnt mean you're gonna. I can get sex ANY day, but that's not ALL I'm looking for. I'm looking for mental gymnastics as well as physical ones. I'm looking for a full-fledged partner and mate. I want 50/50 - no more no less. I'm looking for someone who thinks I hung the moon - because I DID doncha know. I'm looking for someone to support me in my dreams. Hell, I'M looking for someone to support ME for a change (in the style to which I'd LIKE to become accustomed). Ok ok... that's not true. I've always worked and I think I would go crazy (ER. I HEARD ya! SHADDUP) if I sat on my butt and ate bon bons all day. At least I'd like someone who UNDERSTANDS financial responsibility. Hey, I know I'm asking for alot, but I GIVE as good as... actually have given much better... than what I get. I'm finally starting to understand that I am worth it. I DESERVE it!!! (Geez, sounding pretty cocky there I guess... feels good. Me LIKEY) Oh yeah, that reminds me... and he has to be really, REALLY good in bed. Did I mention that? Sorry if I repeat myself, but there are SOME things that bear repeating. Bottom line is, I'm looking for an ADULT. If he turns out a little younger, fine...just not THAT much younger. I did my time. I raised one boy-man. I'm not looking to raise another... although I must confess to a certain curiosity about their mythical stamina. But... after its over, what WOULD we talk about, Nintendo? Its a poor commentary on our time that 'Hey baby, what's your sign' has been replaced with 'YO, wanna CAM?' DOOOO I!!!!! As I sat pondering this at my mind-numbingly boring, unsatisfying, drone job; I came up with a few ideas as to how we might EXPAND that notable acronym in an all-inclusive, politically correct manner. (and y'all KNOW, I'm nothing if not PC - hehehe - I kill myself.). Sooo, to that end, here goes - most vowels excepted. Hey it IS an acronym.
BILF - BOY I'd like to... - for the pedophillic Catholic priests out there. give yourself some love (and leave everyone else alone you sick bastards).
CILF - Casual Acquaintance I'd Like to... oooohhhh BETTER YET BY FAR.... COWBOY!!!!! I'd like to... YEEEEEE HAAAWWWW!!!!!
DILF - Dad I'd Like to... Dildo - for the do-it-herselfer
ELF - Ok ok so it doesn't REALLY work, but have you SEEN Lord of the RINGS. purrrrr.
GILF - Grandma/Grandpa I'd Like to... - hey we GOTTA get those baby boomers in here and Octegenarian I'd Like to... really wounded my psyche when I got to dwelling on it. Somehow, I GOTTA learn to avoid mental pictures. ooooohhhhhhh - I probably shouldn't have eaten spicy tonight. Tylonel PM it is.
HILF - Hindu I'd Like to... ok needs work but we gotta get SOME of the major religions in here if we want to be fair.
IILF - Italian - ok I said I wasnt going to use vowels but that hottie at the Farmer's market who offered me his cucumber got me to thinking. Mama MIA!!
JILF - Japanese, Jersey-boy, Jogger, Jilted-lover, Jesuit I'd Like to... whats your flavor?
KILF - hmmm, help me out here.... Karma I'd Like to... nahhh that's a do-it-yourself thing.
LILF - Lawyer, Long-one, Lesbian
MILF - THIS ONE NEEDS A 'MULLIGAN' (bleah) How about Movie Star I'd Like to... I could think of one or two. Marine...mmmm. Note how I get that military in there? I'm nothing if not patriotic.
NILF - Nun, Nurse (pick your costume) I'd Like to...
PILF - oh COME ON its GOTTA be Police Officer I'd Like to... (uniform, cuffs, billy club, authoritarian air - they got it all).
QUILF - oh man, this one is HARD. uhhhh Quaker I'd Like to.... Noooo, we dont wear the funny hats anymore. See CILF or NILF if you like that sort of thing.
RILF - Ranger, Radiologist, one who writes in REALLY POOR TASTE I'd Like to...
SILF - there's several so bear with me. 'S' is a popular letter and I want to cover everyone. As a bow to my farm heritage - Sheep I'd Like to... , Singer I'd Like to... (professional OR amateur. I leave it to you to decide what kind of 'singing' you have in mind), Soldier (DAMN - that pretty much says it), and finally Shiska (dont think I spelled it right but, oh well, I know who I are) I'd Like to...
TILF - yet another popular letter. Tight-ass I'd Like to...(hey it might help em relax), Tree-hugger I'd Like to...(for you environmental types), Transvestite I'd Like to... (no thanks, I'm drivin), Traveling Salesmen I'd Like to..., Trainer I'd Like to... (for you fitness buffs) Teacher I'd like to... (I'm all about higher education). and the list goes on.
VILF - VIP I'd Like to... (for all you gold-diggers out there).
WILF - Waiter I'd Like to... Remember, the waiter of today MIGHT be a movie star tomorrow.
XILF - I need an assist here. All I can think of is XRAY Tech I'd Like to...
YILF - Yeti?! I'd Like to... Ok, YOU try...yer so @(#$ Schmart.
ZILF - Zooologist I'd Like to...
Well that pretty much covers it. Feel free to respond with your own. Amuse me. C'mon, I KNOW you got it in ya. To each their own, I always say. Have a lovely evening, wonderful day tomorrow, and a fantastic week. Later... Love, T
7/15/2006 8:28 pm
ok and so what do you call coast guarders. heck i need to get all the major religions in there too. got a bow to my quaker heritage... id wink at you hon but not sure how this thing works yet... plus im standard. lol. ttyl - t|
7/21/2006 8:57 am
I would have read all of it but couldn't get past the "current mood - horny" part. That should tell you where I'm at!!|