Your Love Map to the Love Shack  

fancyshag 58F
20 posts
9/19/2005 6:09 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Your Love Map to the Love Shack

Everyone has an internal love map–a model of what we believe love should look and feel like. Our love maps are laid down in our mind and body by our earliest relationships with our mothers or caregivers and are probably first mapped out by the hormone of attachment, oxytocin.

A child’s–and later, an adult’s–inner love map is determined by a wide variety of factors: your genetic inheritance, how you were nurtured at a critical stage of development(ages 3-8 ), other early childhood experiences, your physical and cultural environment, your hormone levels, and also by the mystery of soul qualities.

Your love map may portray what you want in an ideal partner. It may incline you to grow up heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. It may be programmed toward wanting a lot of sex, a moderate amount, or very little, or it may incline you to atypical sexual behavior. The environment can both trigger and reinforce a child’s inner map, weaving the senses of smell, taste, hearing, sight, and touch powerfully into your later sexual responses.

Though many experts feel that once in place, love maps can’t be changed or altered unless your brain changes physically, I’ve seen enough brain changes in myself and others to know that we probably have a broader range of love maps within us than we may think…which is a good thing!

So what is a “normal”love map, for better or for worse, as defined by the dominant culture, medical authorities, and increasingly, the creators of mass media that beam millions of sexual messages into our homes every day?
For some, normal sex means that a man and a woman have vaginal intercourse in their own bed on Saturday night. “Normal,” however, doesn’t necessarily describe the range of sexual experiences a human can enjoy. The ideologic norm is frequently imposed upon us by those in power, be it a parent, a peer, clergy, or the police.

If an you have experienced childhood sexual abuse, or some other major trauma, your love map may become distorted. You may fall in love with someone who has features your perpetrator or you may have trouble with intimacy and sexual activity with anyone.

Our culture encodes seemingly contradictory expectations for boys and girls regarding relationships and sexuality of which we have all experienced at some point or another.

Have you given much thought as to how your love map was designed and how it influences your choice of partners both relational and recreational?

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