"Your are so nice ! " said the hunk to the hottie  

fancyshag 58F
20 posts
9/18/2005 12:48 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

"Your are so nice ! " said the hunk to the hottie

I would like to share a story with you all that seems permanently lodged way back in the recesses of my mind but JUST won't go away!

A few years ago a co-worker relayed to me a conversation she had with a new beau she had recently started dating. He "You are SO nice, F."
"Thank you!" "Were you ever overweight, by any chance?" (She had been-lost 45 lbs)

I bring this exchange up for a few reasons. As BBW's we often question the sincerity of our suitors. And the responses seem to fall along the same lines: BBW's are nicer,more giving,less into themselves. On the surface that sounds like a nice compliment, does it not?

But let's delve a wee bit deeper into that. It sounds like we are doing all the giving and not being met halfway. Bending over backward to gain acceptance. Not keeping our own self-interests front and centre. Being a people-pleaser "Oh sure I will do _____________ while you sit back and reap all the benefits. Whatever they may be!

How insightful of this young man to be aware of this people-pleasing mode. He had obviously seen it before. I found the exchange quite telling.

As a BBW, do you sense the playing field is level between you and your gentleman friends? Or far from it? What have been your experiences? How much compensatory behaviour do you find yourself engaged in to level it?

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