Love Death/Hate Life.."Frankenstein"  

evolvo_lad 45M
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3/5/2006 6:22 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Love Death/Hate Life.."Frankenstein"

Sunday I am up on my tired ass and drinking my coffee . I stayed up too late writing out note cards to study for Spanish class. And I was a kinky dirty little man perusing AdultFriendFinder at the same time. So I was being studious and slutty. What a combo. All I did yesterday was clean the fucking house. Just incase you haven’t been following my boring ass blogg: My parents are slobs, For just as nice , and generous they are they are twice as messy. I haven’t been really good about keeping up with the cleaning myself;f because they have been renovating the house , and I have been to busy with school to do it. SO it always ends up by the end of the week that I spend one whole day cleaning, cussing and wondering how and why this always happens. I know they will never change they are too old and , its there pad. It didn’t bother me for awhile because I was taking anti depressants, anti anxiety meds. I liked it at first because I didn’t feel anything, nothing not happy , sad, mad , nothing. It was a welcome break from feeling sad, and doomed. But I slowly started to realize I liked having emotions, and I needed them to paint or create things. It was nice at first because when I first got sick everything, reality hit me like a ton of bricks, that with the no social life, job that I hated(great pay but hated), living in New Port Richey , and not knowing if I was going to live or die, just was too much for me. I couldn’t eat sleep and I cried at the drop of a hat, even at commercials. I know funny. So when I started lexapro , bam two days later I was simplified. I was the Alien Sex Fiend song 24 hours a day and it was cool. That vacation from excessive emotion got me back on track and getting my shit together. So where was I , Oh yeah, So I decided to stop taking it , cause I was tired of being a robot, so its been like six months know. I feel great I actually feel l things again. I know I’m off it because the cleanliness and clutter of the house gets to me. My parents And I were at Macoroni Grill last night, and they agreed with me on the lexapro. They said “we were wondering why you didn’t complain about the house and get on us “ and since you’ve been off it You been nagging us.’ WHat was the point of all this. Who knows. I am horny as hell. I really am. I am just looking for some no strings sex, hence the AdultFriendFinder thingee. I am having these fanatasies about older men like 50 and 60 that are in good shape. Have no clue. And then there are other things I’m looking for , just common stuff. Alatin Lover would be good. But I am mainly into the white boys. Have no clue why. Like you would think I would go for all these freaky ass guys. But I don’t . I like bankers ,and Preppy athletic guys. And of course the gay standard construction worker, pool boy, lawn guy fantasy.

A couple of days ago I got so stoned.. Oh god I was simplified a gain , I couldn’t move . I sat back in my chair, the music was blasting, Dead or Alive was on my cd player, and I couldn’t get up to change it. I was so zooted, and I was getting into how soft my dogs fur was. Freaky I know. So I am going to put my emergency Mp3 player at the side of my chair, in case another situation like this happens .. I know it the little things. My space has been kinda quiet lately . Hope everyone is alright. Ollie hope your feeling better. Bruce I love your new pics, I think If I lived by you I would ponce on you right now, so you are soooooo lucky. Tim are you doing alright . Angel I promise I wont compare my prison tats to yours, I know you are very touchy…..lol And Shannon--- hello hello, counting the days till April… thank god I have time to think about what to wear.. Dilema …lol


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