National Idiot Day  

evilsaintjude 32M
5 posts
8/20/2006 11:24 am

Last Read:
1/10/2007 12:24 pm

National Idiot Day

*I wrote this last month but felt like sharing it with ya'll here on AdultFriendFinder.

So in case any one didn't get the memo, warning, or protective gear I am declaring today, July 27th, national idiot day.

As most of ya'll know I work at the computer center on campus and I get the pleasure of seeing new faces every day and sometimes helping people with legitimate problems. Sometimes the job can be rewarding and give you that warm fuzzy feeling.

Other times the job can...well...give your face the hot feeling it gets when you are so mad you want to slap some one to death.

So it started yesterday. I knew something was off, I didn't feel quite right. I was tired, out of it, and just an all around warm body (or meat sack if you will.).

Its like I have a sixth sense for stupid.

It starts with a chick coming up to the fish bowl and asking if I can help her scan a document with a scanner and then upload the scan into Microsoft Word so she can make changes to it.

I tell her no you're an idiot (obviously leaving off the you're and idiot part).

She tells me yes she can because my boss said so.

I said fine, I'll call my boss and figure out what he told her, she says okay and marches back to the lab.

Two minutes later I walk up to her and she's not sitting at a computer with a scanner. Immediately the red flags go up in my head but did I pay attention? Obviously not.

She tells me that it is her friend that needs help and points to the ape-man sitting at a corner computer. I walk over and try to help him. He almost had the problem figured out on his own but he wasn't quite there.

I start thinking to myself, "Hey, this guy might not be that stupid."

And then he opened his mouth.

I don't care how smart you are, how much money you have, how good looking you are, or how talented you are. The minute you speak to me, or any one else, in ebonics I am making a mental note that you are a retard and shouldn't be breathing my air.

Immediately the hopes that this guy might not be a complete idiot vanish. And they are replaced with hopes that this guy might swallow his tongue.

Yesterday was not a good day for hopes.

I got his problem straightened out and everything seemed to be fine. Then he tried to print whatever he was working on.

By the way, now would be a good time to point out that all he wanted changed on the paper he was trying to scan was the header. I saw the name on the header and then I saw the name on his student ID and the names do not match up. I helped an idiot do good in school. I hate me.

But anyways, 'his' document did not print. I was not in the fishbowl when he came in and told a coworker of mine that the printer wasn't printing but I was told about it later.

As the guy was leaving he tossed his head phones that he borrowed from us at me and muttered something about how we need to fix the printers and walked off.


Now fast forward 24 hours. I'm sitting in the fishbowl listening to some music and watching some funny videos to pass the time and this kid that I have seen around here comes up to me and starts trying to talk to me.

Now this kid isn't the brightest crayon in the box. He is your stereo typical white kid that thinks he is black. I dislike him seconds after he opens his mouth.

The icing on the cake of him trying to talk to me was the fact that this kid was stoned out of his mind. I had to explain to him why he couldn't open a document that he typed in Microsoft Word here on campus up on his personal computer at his home that uses Works.

As soon as I told him what the problem was his eyes glazed over while he was trying to put the puzzle pieces of the words that I just said together in his mind so he could see the whole picture.

He then asks me if an update would fix that problem. I take a deep breath and ask what problem. He says, "The difference between the two programs."

Now I am the one that has to take a break from the conversation to figure out what the fuck this guy just told me. He wanted to know if Microsoft has put out an update to make it so you can type something on Word and open it on Works.

Not a bad question.

Just annoying.

I tell him no, Microsoft does not have one out and probably never will. Then he asks me if the hotels have Word.

The conversation quickly goes down hill from there. Yes, that means it got worse.

He leaves and comes back two minutes later. He wants a phone book. I give it to him with the hopes that he will look up a number and leave me alone.

He does not.

He asks me what Pepsi would be under. I honestly have no clue but the first thought that comes to mind is...well...Pepsi. I don't know, that might be a stretch. And then he asks me how to spell Pepsi.

At this point I start to seriously think about how bad I need this job and how much I would like to stand up, lean over the counter, and slap him. Or stab him in his 'happy place' so he can't reproduce and further polute the gene pool.

After Whitey (I should call him would make me laugh.) figured out how alphabetization works Ape-man from yesterday comes up.

He wants a pair of head phones.

Fine, I hand him some. He tells me that he doesn't like the head phones that I handed him because the padding over the ear pieces isn't thick enough and reaches over the counter into my head phone drawer and fishes out a pair that suits him.

Its at this point I just want to kill him. In cold blood. I could have done it. I have been pushed to my limit today was not even half way over by this time.

I think in certain instances murder should be okay.

rm_AbqNMBoi 48M
2 posts
8/22/2006 12:49 pm

I agree, but maybe they could then call it euthanasia (putting them out of our misery) I can empathize,.. I work in an IT department and can seldom understand how these people got their jobs. Hang in there,… seems it’s like this all over,.. no sense quitting a job you already have figured out. K~

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