Jokes and Giggles  

evilgothgirl 51F
326 posts
2/8/2006 9:35 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Jokes and Giggles

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...>

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery moneyI gave you? She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST: She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the
cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. Milk...does a body good!

A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if
I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?

A: Shoot him again.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

sexyeyes375 46F

2/8/2006 5:15 pm

LMFAO... I can't pick a favorite. Nice blog.. and nice pic..

Thanks for the chuckle

rm_dragonheat23 51M
1158 posts
2/9/2006 6:29 am

Those were fabulous. I laughed my ass off!!!

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