Blog Entry 5A: A Lie of the Mind?  

eumenides_k 39F
17 posts
3/31/2006 11:16 pm

Last Read:
4/6/2006 8:10 pm

Blog Entry 5A: A Lie of the Mind?

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...


There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.
_________________________________________________

I've been reflecting on my friend's recent dramas. I've been doing some thinking about how much she brings to the table to make it drama and how much of it is as it seems: she's attracted to the wrong men and jumps in too fast. But the more I think about it, the more this song popped into my head. If you don't know the song, it's from the musical Avenue Q.

Why is it that some relationships seem to explode out of the blue? Why is it that only hindsight recognizes the course the relationship was taking. Ok, there's emotional blindness. I get that. I understand it. But I think it's paired with the fact that there is, in fact, a fine fine line between many things that seem opposite.

"There's a fine fine line between together and not": They were "together" but rarely seeing one another. They "lived together" without him actually being there for a great portion of the time. And so it's easy for him to go either way with his arguments. "We were together" "We weren't together." I guess "There's a fine fine line between 'you're wonderful' and 'goodbye'" fits here, too.

"There's a fine fine line between what you wanted and what you got": She chose him. She wanted the package. She opened herself up to a relationship that was based on complete openess. No privacy needed. But then the relationship turns a corner and all of a sudden what she wanted and what she got seem vastly different. Suddenly, he's acted in such a manner as to have such privelages revoked, but still feels as though it is within his rights to continue with his "boyfriend duties" though he doesn't want to be the boyfriend anymore. But she wanted that open, honest relationship. She wanted him to have access to everything. And now it's tainted.

"There's a fine fine line between love and a waste of your time": This is inherently present in the previous two. At what point does love become something you've wasted your time on? What have you given up for it to only go sour. Or, in some cases, diseased and putrid?

It's all a mindset game. I think the "what you got" and "waste of your time" parts come out of a necessity to seperate ourselves from the incredibly powerful feelings that draw us back to that person time and time again. But, even if they are a lie of the mind, so to speak, there is a grain of truth within each thought. There was love and now there is hate. There was affection and now there is war. In some ways, at some points, how it transitioned from one to the other becomes irrelevant. What was good is now bad. Therefore, we can move on.

The fact is, "you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb." It's all risk. You've got to be willing to take it. You've got to be able to go after what you want and not pull back because of the fear that it will go terribly wrong in the long run. Focus on the hike to the top, right?

Ok, so these seem like strange thoughts coming from the woman who is intensely wary of marriage and even monogomy. But doesn't this apply to sex, too? It's a fine line between casual sex and intimate connection? Even finer between intimate connection and love? This can even apply to the act itself. There's a fine line between having an orgasm and having none. There's a fine line between kinky and disturbing. There's a fine line between aggressive and S&M.

On a side note...less than two weeks! Maybe we'll cross some fine lines, then.

Closing Thought: "For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches." ~Stacy Nelkin


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
4/6/2006 11:09 am

It seems that women are as bad as men these days in terms of rampant promiscuity.

I'm reminded of that everday at the gym.

It's a good thing I'm in to monogamy, it allows me to bypass women that are only looking for random sex. There are alot like that.

If they are coming on to me like that, I can't imagine how many other guys they are doing the same thing with.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


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