Shit happens even in dreams  

eternal1969 47M
838 posts
9/3/2005 10:56 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Shit happens even in dreams


Still feeling moody and depressed. Also a little lost. It doesn't help when I turn on the telly and get even more depressed by whats happening in New Orleans. Maybe I'll share a joke with you guys to cheer each other up instead...

-----------------------------------------

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young,"said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."

"It's not that easy," said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."
Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?"

"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode."

"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."

"How do I do that?" Tom asked.

"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground. "Wow," Tom said, "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Tom, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're shittin' all over the bed!"

goddessofbitches 41M/33F

9/3/2005 11:14 am

OMG...LMAO...my husband's name is tom...I have to tell him this joke.

HUGS~~~MANDY

Always The Bitch


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
9/3/2005 12:05 pm

uggh... i am not gonna go into the gory details of my drunk husband shitting in my bed ... it was a long time ago and he HATES me telling that story ...



[blog freelove999]


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
9/3/2005 2:56 pm

Thats funny, I feel a little better now, thanks.


__Huntress__ 55M/57F

9/3/2005 4:00 pm

... okay ... no more jokes while you're depressed !


georgina666 36F

9/5/2005 8:09 am

george smells shit from afar...

ok dear, you have a terribly "dirty" joke there


eternal1969 47M
1634 posts
9/5/2005 10:57 am

Well Mandy I certainly hope your Tom is THE Tom in the joke

Freelove - Hmmmm.... never knew that a person could shit when drunk. I've always had constipation when I've too much to drink... ok ok sorry.... no more shitty stuff

Saint - Always glad to make you a little happier everyday...

Huntress - Yup... I think I'm worse depressed than drunk.... but thats me..

George - As usual, you know when to spring from your jungle... oh.. and that will bring me to today's blog subject....


eternal1969 47M
1634 posts
9/5/2005 11:01 am

Well Mandy I certainly hope your Tom isn't THE Tom in the joke

Freelove - Hmmmm.... never knew that a person could shit when drunk. I've always had constipation when I've too much to drink... ok ok sorry.... no more shitty stuff

Saint - Always glad to make you a little happier everyday...

Huntress - Yup... I think I'm worse depressed than drunk.... but thats me..

George - As usual, you know when to spring from your jungle... oh.. and that will bring me to today's blog subject....


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