The anatomy of a hookup  

empress_evie 39F
134 posts
7/3/2005 6:46 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The anatomy of a hookup

Shiny happy Sunday. I wake up early. That's what I get for renting an east-facing apartment... despite the light-blocking blinds and the sleep mask, the sun manages to make its way in, patterning the bed and the north wall and the cat with bright happy stripes... I don't mind being awakened at 7:30, so long as I got enough sleep the night before.

Sigh. I'm also a little adjective-heavy and thoughtful in the morning, and since the first thing I always do is pick up the computer and make the rounds, that's why I'm blogging at 8:15 on a Sunday morning.

Had a dull Saturday. Got some stuff done. Made some phone calls. Wrote a bit of fiction. Then became kind of upset due to an email from a guy on here.

We've been wrangling to try to meet for a couple weeks now, and yesterday seemed like a good day - both free in the afternoon, and Saturday afternoons usually lie blank before me, so that would have been fun. I suggested we meet at this place I know that has a garden, and added that I may not be a sure thing - I mean, I'd have to meet him first, right? see if we liked each other? isn't that how it's done?

The reason I added that is because as of late, our emails, his especially, have been of the "your place or mine?" variety. How do we know whose place till we know if we're interested?

Well, apparently he didn't care if either of us was interested or not. He just wanted to do it and get it done.

"I dont think I can devote the whole afternoon to eating, dining and something thats not a sure thing" is a direct quote. He's taking a big exam coming up - there are a lot of big professional exams in the summer, I should know, I've got a few friends agonizing over one - and claims his time is so limited that he can't spare a drink with a girl to see if they're compatible before fucking. "Dont mean to come off as an ass" he said.

Whoops, sorry, too late. At least to me. I should have picked it up from the earlier emails, but he's not the kind of guy I want to hook up with right now. I like the "buddy" part of "fuckbuddy" as much as the "fuck" part. In fact, I require it. Not like it takes me long to determine whether or not I personally like a guy (or a couple, in the case of the threesome). I generally figure it out within an hour or less, and then...

But if I'm not worth an hour of getting to know, if I'm just going to be a hole instead of a person, then I really chose the wrong guy to write to. Strange, because I'm usually so damn picky about who I converse with online. I've gotten better and better at that, and I haven't had a bad experience - not even an unpleasant email! - once during this round of sluttery.

There's my rant about people who just want to fuck without getting to know the fuckee first. I hook up with people, not body parts. I shouldn't be so offended - I AM on AdultFriendFinder, after all, and the fuck-for-fuck's-sake attitude is pretty standard - but I guess I just judged the guy wrong.

Should have known from the utter lack of capitalization and punctuation, too. (I'd make a comment about how his studying must not be doing him much good... but that would just be mean. Wouldn't it be mean? Yeah, it would. ) Guys who can't write generally aren't worth my trouble. I'm a grammar snob, so sue me.

rm_megaman69ing 38M

7/3/2005 12:07 pm

the guy was an ass for just litterly wanting to fuck and only fuck. i know i want to at least have a conversation to know the person somewhat better than not knowing anything at all. i am sure if given the chance we can have some good conversations before we jump into anything. well enjoy your holiday!

CitrusJuice 45F

7/3/2005 7:42 pm

If he can't take the proper time to write a cohesive email, why would you entertain the idea of entertaining him at all? Sorry, but badly written "let's fuck" emails go straight in the trash. (As should their senders.) What about the massage guy? I bet he could write well. PS -- love your blog. I'm new here and am learning a lot from you.

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

7/4/2005 5:19 am

I had almost the same thing happen to me this weekend ... chatting with a guy from here ... finally made some plans to meet ... picked an evening that was good for both of us ... we were going to meet some place at the shore ... dinner, drinks ... sounds good so far ... then he lets me know he comes from a good Italian family ... house on the beach ... plenty of money ... warning bells start to go off ... next phone call I get he flat out tells me to make sure I bring a negligee and some "toys" with me and that maybe we should meet at his place first ... oh, and .. if I had any girlfriends I'd like to bring with me that would be fine with him too ...WWWWWHHHHHAAAAAAATTTT ... !

rm_kalispiral 43F
4 posts
7/16/2005 8:25 pm

I'm glad to see that other women on AdultFriendFinder have the same attitude that I do! Grammar and spelling count, although I will forgive obvious typos. And too many men in this area (I'm down in the champaign area) seem to have the "let's fuck and nothing but fuck" attitude that I find so very wearisome. Have they never had sex with a real woman before? I think I can safely say that just about anyone can enjoy a quick anonymous fuck, but there's usually some sort of conversation and lead-in to the subject, even if it is just flirting in bar. Sigh.

dancewithme29 46F

8/6/2005 3:17 pm

the crux of being on a sex site...thinks it gives men cart blanche to treat us like meat...

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